Risking it All (Crossing the Line, #1)(65)

“I’ve been safe my whole life,” she shot back. “So he took a few payouts. I didn’t expect it of him, but he stopped.

We could have kept it quiet.”

“No. No, we couldn’t.” He sighed long and loud, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Those payouts trace back to me, Sera. This book…they’re proof Hogan has been holding over my head for years.

The information contained in here is the leverage I need to keep him from blackmailing me, again and again.”

Her mind reeled. “Why take payouts?

You don’t need the money. I don’t understand.”

“Your brother kept the money, but I looked the other way. His partner came to me with a complaint and I swept it under the mat. Even found a way to get your brother’s partner reassigned.” Her uncle’s face looked suddenly ancient, etched with regret. “Everything came to Colin too easy. He didn’t understand the concept of consequences, and it finally caught up with him. I was wrong about which of you two was the cop in the family. I’m sorry, Sera.”

Sera wanted to dwell on the apology, wanted to bask in her uncle’s rare approval. It had been so damn long in coming, from him, from anyone. But she couldn’t. Her brain had zeroed in on one thing he’d said, and with it the implications made her vision waver. It finally caught up with him. “The trial,”

she rasped. “Did you get him off because he had dirt on you? Evidence that you knew about the payouts?”

His silence was the only answer she needed. Sera staggered back from the car, feeling as if the fabric of her existence had been ripped in half. The standards she’d held herself to her entire life were suddenly meaningless, a crumbled foundation. Her uncle only watched her, hands propped on hips, looking ashamed. She’d never seen that look on her uncle’s face before. It brought another horrible realization to the forefront of her mind.

“Did you…” she started in a small voice. “Did you know I was going undercover? Did you… let me so I’d do your dirty work for you?”

Again, he couldn’t look directly at her.

Coffin? Meet nail. “Get in the car. We’ll talk about this at home.” He jerked open the driver’s side door. “Tomorrow we’ll debrief you, then take you to a safe house. You’ll stay there until this blows over, then we’ll discuss more options.”

Her life was once again being planned out for her, by a man she didn’t even know. A man who’d let her brother’s killer go free to save his own job, his own reputation. A man who would reassign an innocent officer to God-knew-where instead of doing the right thing. Worst of all, a man who would use his niece to further his own ends.

No, she wasn’t going anywhere with him. And suddenly, there was only one place in the world she wanted to be. At the thought of returning to Bowen, her heart starting beating for what felt like the first time that day. She’d judged him on a scale her uncle had created. A black-and-white scale that allowed for no gray area, but her uncle lived in the gray, just like Bowen. Only, one of them did it by choice, one had never been given a choice. Or a chance.

“Go without me. I’m not leaving.”

He snorted. “That’s not funny.”

“Good. It wasn’t a joke.” She started walking backward toward Rush. “Leave before someone sees you.”

“I’m not leaving without you. Get in the car.” She kept walking, drawing a vile curse she’d never expected to hear from him. “It’s him, isn’t it? Sera, you can’t be serious. He’s scum.”

She paused her footsteps. “And yet you sent him in to babysit your niece?”

When he had no answer, she laughed without humor. “That scum has taught me more about myself since I met him than you even bothered to do. You never gave me a home. But I think he might have.”

He started to come after her, but jumped back into the shadows when a light came on in the apartment building, illuminating the alley. No way could the police commissioner be seen here, talking to her. Anyone with a television set would recognize him. With a final disgusted look in her direction, he tugged his jacket collar up around his neck. “This isn’t over, Sera. I won’t let you ruin your life like this. I owe your father better than that.”

“I owe him better than to turn out a liar.” This was it. No going back. “My badge is at my apartment on my bedside table. You can shove it up your ass.”

She had the satisfaction of watching his face pale. “You’ll regret this.”

“I only regret one thing tonight.”

Leaving Bowen. “You want my silence, Uncle? Let me go. Let Bowen go.” She was taking a gamble that Bowen would want to disappear with her, but prayed he would. “You won’t hear from us again.”

He said nothing. Just clenched his jaw and ducked into the car.

Hidden in the shadows, Sera watched him drive down the alley and turn onto the street, red taillights disappearing around the corner. There should have been more of a sense of apprehension, or loss. She’d just chosen Bowen over family. Over potential safety. She could figure out the rest. They’d do it together.

I love him. Oh, God, I love him so much.

When the kitchen door slammed open and Bowen charged out, hands in his hair, looking in every direction with raw agony on his face, she knew she’d made the right call. Her entire being gravitated toward him . Soothe him. Make him better.