Risking it All (Crossing the Line, #1)(60)

“We don’t have to f*ck, Sera. But you’re coming to shower with me.”

When she stared at him in openmouthed shock, he gave her a tight smile. “I told you. Nothing rash. Since you haven’t agreed to let me help you, you’re not leaving my sight. I’m not coming out of the bathroom and finding you gone.”

“I’m not showering with you,” she scoffed.

He shrugged. “Then the blood stays.”

Without another word, he walked out of her bedroom. A second later, she heard the unmistakable sound of him lighting a match, the smell of cigarette smoke permeating the air. After the morning she’d had, the blatant challenge he presented proved too much to resist.

Doing her best to look casual, she followed him out into the kitchen and picked up his pack of cigarettes where it sat on the counter. As he watched her suspiciously, she flicked on one of the stove burners and lit the end, lifted the cigarette to her lips, and took a deep pull before it could go out. The smoke felt like fire pouring down her throat, but somehow she managed not to cough.

Instead, she blew a steady exhale of smoke in his direction.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded angrily. “Put that out.”

“Why?”

“It’s bad for you.” When she took another puff, he growled. “Knock it off, Sera.”

“No. Every time you smoke a cigarette, I’m going to smoke one, too.”

Sera knew this little act of rebellion was childish, but God, it felt fantastic. She’d been protected her whole life, learning so young that acting out only made things worse for herself. Well, right about now, things were about as worse as they could get, so she might as well go for broke.

Bowen had just gotten finished telling her how good she was. How he wanted to absorb all the bad. This was her way of telling him she didn’t need it.

Before she could take her third drag from the cigarette, Bowen tossed his own into the sink and advanced on her.

The cigarette was plucked from her fingers on the way to her lips and held up between his fingertips. “If that’s the case, I’ll never touch another one in my goddamn life.”

Having his vibrating intensity so close heated her head to toe. She tried to back up but her hips hit the counter. “Right.”

Her laughter sounded breathless. “I doubt it’s that easy.”

“You don’t think so?” He lifted the edge of his shirt so she could see his ridged abdomen, the smooth skin interrupted by scars every few inches. A now-familiar feeling of dread kicked up a fuss in her stomach. “You want to know how important it is to me that nothing bad touches you? This’ll be my reminder.”

He ground out the lit cigarette on his stomach.

Sera screamed a denial, making a frantic attempt to stop him, but it was too late. His hand fell away and she could see the charred ring of flesh just above the waistband of his jeans. She slumped against the counter, watching in disbelief as he flicked the cigarette butt into the sink without taking his eyes off her. Not once. He hadn’t even flinched once.

Suddenly furious, she shoved against his chest, but he didn’t budge. “Stop using me as an excuse to hurt yourself, dammit. What is wrong with you?”

“That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?”

The black smoking hole on his stomach, the blood on his face, it became insufferable. She needed it gone, now. Whether or not his behavior had been

rational,

she

needed

every

reminder of what she’d driven him to do gone. Seeing him in pain when she could stop it went against everything in her nature. With a groan of frustration, she took his hand and dragged him toward the bathroom, making a valiant attempt to ignore the victory that flashed in his eyes. It made her question his sanity, yes, but she was also grateful for that look. It would give her a reason to resist him. Today, in this moment, she would not give in. No matter how much willpower it took.

She flipped on the light as they entered the small bathroom, having to tug her hand away when he didn’t let her go immediately. Seeing them in the mirror, his taller, more muscular frame inches behind her, watching her as if his heart were

in

his

throat,

made

her

determination waver all too soon.

Closing herself off to the emotions, she turned on the shower taps and found a lukewarm temperature in deference to his fresh wound.

A glance in the mirror showed him stripping his shirt over his head and tossing it on the floor. His hands went to the fly of his jeans then, but she refused to turn around completely, as if watching him disrobe in the mirror would somehow affect her less. How he could make every pulse point in her body pound while covered in blood and a self-inflicted wound staring her in the face, she had no idea. But if the power he had over her body continued to be this potent, after everything they’d faced since last night, it would never go away.

Doesn’t change anything. “Get in,”

she instructed, cringing inwardly over the huskiness in her voice. Behind her, Bowen pushed his jeans and boxer briefs down in one quick movement and stepped out of them, revealing his too-beautiful body. Despite all the scars, the bruises, the blood, she’d never seen anyone so magnificent. “I’m not going to stand here all day.”

One edge of his lips tugged up, but it looked unnatural thanks to his cuts. “I thought you were a nurse, Seraphina.