Ride Hard (Raven Riders #1)(33)
His eyes ran down the first few items, and then the first title of the list made more sense. This was a to-do list for Haven’s life. A bucket list. The thought set off an uncomfortable pressure in his chest. Her father had clearly denied her so much. So Dare had to give her credit for having dreams and goals. It had taken him a while after he’d come to his grandfather’s to feel safe, secure, and stable enough to start making any plans for the future. But here was Haven, a few weeks out from years of virtual captivity and already figuring out what kind of life she wanted to lead.
√Kiss a guy
Kiss a lot of guys! (√ ? )
√Have fun at a party for once
√Wear makeup
√Drink
Dare frowned as he took in that section of to-do items, most of which were checked off—and had probably been checked off last night, with him. Multiple reactions warred through him. She’d told him she’d never drank before, so did that mean all the things on this list were first-time experiences for her? And, if so, did that mean he was the first guy she ever kissed? And who the hell else had she kissed?
“Christ,” he bit out, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed. For the first time, a thread of guilt curled into his gut, because there wasn’t anything here that would help with this reward situation, which meant now Dare was just snooping.
But her words had snared him, and he couldn’t make himself stop reading. Some of the things she wanted to do were so . . . basic that Dare found himself shaking his head in disgust at her father. What kind of life did you have to have experienced to want to put making a mess and not caring on a life to-do list?
He turned the page, and his eyes couldn’t take in the words fast enough.
Ride a motorcycle
Learn to drive a motorcycle
Get a driver’s license again
√Have an orgasm with a man
Have sex. All kinds of sex. Everywhere.
“Holy shit,” he said, scrubbing his hand over his face and feeling even guiltier for continuing to read. But how was he supposed to walk away from the apparent knowledge that the orgasm he’d given her last night had been her first—with a man? Which of course suggested she’d had others that she’d given herself, and the mental image that plastered all over the inside of his brain had him rock hard in an instant. Especially when followed up by list items that had him questioning if she was a virgin and wondering if last night was her first sexual experience. Ever.
Because that rushed some serious protectiveness through his veins. And not a little masculine satisfaction. Annnd throw in some self-loathing, too. This was the list of a young person, bright and shiny and new. And he was a moody, hard-edged, guilt-ridden biker with demons too numerous to count and responsibilities that ought to be getting his attention.
He raked a hand through his hair as his eyes continued to devour the list. She clearly wanted to see the world (Go to the beach, See the Pacific, See a Broadway play, See the sun rise over the Atlantic) and have new experiences (Go to a dance, Go skinny dipping, Get a tattoo, Ride a horse, Go to a concert). For a split second, Dare’s brain started making plans, thinking of how easily he could make some of these come true for her.
“What are you doing, Dare?” he said to the empty room.
Because just last night he’d decided to put the brakes on anything else happening between him and Haven, and that wasn’t very likely if he was going to spend a bunch of time with her making her dreams come true. For f*ck’s sake. Not to mention, despite the way reading this had softened his anger—and softened it when little else had, which hadn’t escaped his notice—he was still angry. And disappointed that she’d felt she couldn’t trust him with the information about the reward. And worried about his people.
He skimmed to the end of the list, and the last item punched him in the stomach: Belong to someone, in a good way.
He couldn’t help but wonder when she’d written that. Or hope that she’d been thinking about him when she had. Fucking ridiculous, all things considered, but that didn’t make it any less true.
Damn, this woman had him tied in knots. He hadn’t felt this out of control in decades, and never before over a female. Not to mention, the first people he’d ever truly, deeply cared about had died, which meant he needed to keep his shit in check, because he wasn’t going through that hurt again. Ever.
A motorcycle’s engine revved right out front. Dare stepped to the window, hoping his brothers were starting to arrive. Instead, he found Jeb sitting on his bike, his body turned toward Haven and Cora, who were both laughing and talking animatedly. Haven grasped a helmet Jeb offered her and settled it over her long hair, braided down her back.
Ride a motorcycle
Aw, hell the f*ck no.
Dare shot out of the room, nearly forgetting to put the notebook back where he found it. And then he was hauling ass through the clubhouse. The roar of Jeb’s bike told Dare he wasn’t moving fast enough, and sure enough, he made it out the front door in time to see Jeb and Haven shoot across the lot and toward the winding road that cut across Raven Riders land toward the racetrack.
As he straddled his bike and started the engine, he gave Cora a nod. “Cora.”
“Hi Dare,” she said, looking at him like he had three heads. Awesome.
He tore out after Jeb and Haven, across the lot, down the wooded driveway, and out onto the roadway that curved down the mountain to the track. Dare pushed the bike hard, leaning into the curves aggressively. It didn’t take him long to catch up to Jeb, who clearly was riding easy so he didn’t scare Haven.