Ride Hard (Raven Riders #1)(31)
The party.
Drinking at the bar. Kissing Dare. Him making her come with his fingers. Getting sick.
“Oh, my God,” she rasped, pressing her hand to her mouth.
Cora placed her hand on Haven’s knee. “I’m so sorry I let you drink too much. I thought since Jeb made most of them so small, you’d be okay.”
Haven shook her head and waved her hand. “That’s not your fault and not what I’m freaking out about.”
Cora pressed her lips together, clearly trying to restrain a smile. “Freaking out about Dare then?”
Gasping, Haven nodded as the details started coming back to her. She didn’t know what to be more humiliated about—throwing up in front of him right after having one of the most amazing experiences of her life, or not remembering what happened afterward. “Wait, how did you know that?”
“Well, first of all, you left the party with him,” Cora said, her eyebrow arched. “And then you didn’t come back. But mostly I suspected that was what it was about because when I came in to check on you after the party, I found him sitting in that chair.” She nodded to the blue armchair in the corner.
Haven’s gaze cut to the chair. Now empty, obviously. “He was here?”
“He said you got sick and asked if I’d keep an eye on you. And then he left. That was around two-thirty.”
“What else did he say?” Haven asked, her mind struggling to process this information.
“Nothing,” Cora said, eyeballing her. “But he seemed, I don’t know, agitated. So I’m guessing there’s a good story involving the time between when you left together and I found him in here.”
Rubbing her lips, Haven nodded. And oh, what a story it was. The way he kissed her. The way he touched her. She’d never been so turned on in her life—and she’d never had an orgasm with a man before, either. It had been scary and thrilling and absolutely mind-blowing. If feeling like that was living dangerously, she was ready to sign up. Except without the puking and passing out, of course.
Cora grabbed her hand and gave her a little squeeze. “Um, dying over here.”
Haven wrapped her arms around her knees and tried to find the words. Heat flooded into her face. Screw being embarrassed, Haven! Just say it. “We kissed. A lot. And he ended up making me, um . . .” She made a vague gesture with her hands that no one in their right mind would be able to decipher.
But Cora’s whole face lit up. “He gave you an orgasm?” she yelled, not at all uncomfortable discussing sex—she had a lot more experience with guys and a lot fewer hang-ups.
“Yeah.” Haven nodded, hiding a grin behind her knees.
“And?” Cora asked, possibly wearing an even bigger grin.
“And . . . it was amazing. I wasn’t once scared he’d push me further than I wanted to go.” Her mind replayed their stolen moments. “Honestly, I’m not sure how far I would’ve been willing to go with him. But then, of course, I puked and got really dizzy, so I never got to find out.”
But just giving voice to the question had her gut giving her an answer. She would’ve slept with Dare. No, that wasn’t strong enough. As aroused as he had her, she would’ve jumped all over sleeping with Dare. And that wasn’t just the alcohol or her newly resurrected libido talking. Something about Dare lured her in—he was strong without being a bully, a leader without having a power trip, rough in all kinds of ways without being hurtful. She still found him intimidating sometimes, truth be told, but he also made her feel safe. So safe that she sometimes found herself telling him things she never volunteered to anyone else—some of it not even to Cora.
And she certainly couldn’t forget about the way he’d praised and defended her that day out on the porch. Just thinking about that moment made a ripple of excited appreciation go through her chest.
“Forget about the throwing up part,” Cora said with a wave of her hand. “I’m so freaking excited for you. Whatever is between you two, you deserve a night that makes you smile like this.”
The words pulled Haven from her thoughts. “I’m pretty excited for me, too.” Her smile sagged. “Although I guess I’m less excited when I hear that you thought he seemed agitated.”
Cora shook her head. “I’m sure he was just worried about you.” She gave Haven a reassuring smile. “Anyway, focus on the bright side, you checked a whole bunch of things off your list last night. You wanted to live, and you did.”
“I did, didn’t I?” Searching for her notebook, Haven found it on the nightstand. She opened it to the first page, scanned the list, and placed check marks next to everything she’d done. It was silly, she knew it was, but didn’t she deserve a little silly? Because she’d never been al lowed to have silly or frivolous or just for fun before. “Hmm, should I give myself credit for kissing a lot of guys, since I kissed Jeb on the cheek?”
Tapping a finger against her lips, Cora hummed. “Tough call.”
Chuckling, Haven wrote a check mark next to it with a question mark, then she turned the page to the more Dare-inspired “to-do” items. None listed his name, but things like have an orgasm with a man had definitely popped into her head after she’d spent that night fantasizing about kissing him. Among other things. And that one got a check mark, too.