Reclaiming the Sand(101)

“Not if you go with me,” I said quietly, giving voice to my deepest hope. I didn’t want to take this step without him. I wasn’t sure I could do it if Flynn wasn’t there beside me. I needed him. I wanted him with me.

Flynn was quiet, still looking at the letter. But finally he looked up and met my eyes and I saw how happy he was. He got to his feet and stood over me. He reached down and held out his hands. I carefully put mine in his and he pulled me to my feet.

“I like hearing you talk, Ellie. But not now.” Flynn’s eyes were hard and serious.

I opened my mouth to ask him what he was talking about. I had a sick sense of dread that he was throwing me out of his house. And his life.

And then what would I do?

Before I could say anything, Flynn’s mouth came down on mine. Hard lips and desperate tongue as he fought his way passed my teeth. I gasped in surprise and pulled away slightly.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

Flynn shook his head. “Don’t talk,” he whispered and kissed me again.

My mind was spinning on overload. I had come to Flynn house expecting to hash things out. To either give us closure or to start again.

What I hadn’t anticipated was to have my clothes ripped off by a frantic Flynn. He pulled me into the living room. We couldn’t even make it upstairs to his bedroom. He savagely ripped his shirt as he tried to undo the buttons.

His violence shocked me but I didn’t have time to think about it because he was pulling my shirt over my head. His hands were everywhere. My body arched into him, craving what he was giving me.

“I love you, Flynn,” I whispered in his ear as we came together again after so many months apart. The words flew out of me, desperate for him to know. That I always had. I would never stop.

“I hear you,” Flynn said, his eyes closed as he pressed into me.

He placed his lips on my temple, breathing me in. His hands were splayed along my back, his fingers holding me together. I shattered beneath him.

Our roles in each other’s lives had been to every extreme.

Bully and victim.

Friend.

Champion.

Lover.

When I had met Flynn Hendrick as an angry and bitter fifteen-year-old girl, I hadn’t been ready for the emotions he caused me to feel. I had fought against them even as I ran straight towards him.

I had never been a believer of fate. I was of the mindset that I was in charge of my destiny, however crappy it was. Not some faceless void that threw things in your way just to mess with you.

But staring up at Flynn, his face open and happy, how could I not believe in a force that brought him into my world?

I had been slowly dying for all these years and he brought me back to life.

He taught me that being Ellie McCallum was okay. Because she was flawed and troubled. But she was also smart and capable and worthy of love.

Flynn kissed my mouth tenderly after we were finished. I waited for him to move away from me. He didn’t like the feeling of sweaty, sticky skin. But he stayed where he was, his head lying heavily on my naked chest, his hair tickling my nose.

I felt his body let out a big sigh and my heart tripped over itself.

Some instinct made me nervous.

“Are you okay?” I asked, kissing the top of his head, breathing in his scent, something telling me that I should memorize him and this moment. So I would have it for later.

Flynn rubbed his cheek along the curve of my breast, his arms tightening around me.

“I can’t go with you,” he said.

I tried to sit up and pull away but he was too heavy and kept me pinned to the couch.

“What are you saying?” I demanded. I had been feeling so peaceful, as if the pieces of my life were finally starting to fit together. Now I was in danger of losing it all before I even had it.

Flynn turned his face so that he was looking up at me, his eyes not shying away.

“You know I can’t. I live here. In Wellsburg. It’s too hard for me to leave. I would only make it harder for you. You would end up getting mad at me. You would wish I hadn’t come with you. I went to college, Ellie. Now it’s your turn.”

I shook my head. “No, Flynn. I want you to come! I would never feel that way! I can’t do this without you!” I cried.

Flynn frowned. “Yes, you can. You don’t need me there.”

“But I want you there!” I sobbed, feeling the weight of his refusal in the pit of my stomach.

“I’m going to stay here and be a teacher.” I stopped crying and blinked at him in shock. He had taken the job at the community college?

Flynn traced the curve of my lips with his finger, a sad, tender smile on his face.

“I have to do this for me. You’re not the only one that needs to learn stuff. I’ll just learn my stuff here.” He said and I could here the resolution in his voice. There would be no changing his mind.

“You took the job?” I asked. As miserable as I was to hear that he wouldn’t be coming with me, I was happy to hear this.

Flynn nodded. “So if I’m going to do something that scares me. So should you. That’s what you taught me. That I should still do the things that freak me out. Just because they freak me out. And that I’ll be okay. Better even. And so will you.”

Who was this rational guy?

“Don’t cry, Ellie!” Flynn said firmly and I wanted to scream at him. Why was he doing this? Now? After making me think we had a shot? I didn’t think Flynn was capable of such cruelty.