Reckless Hearts (Oak Harbor #2)(54)

“Let’s go play,” I say, glad to keep the conversation away from weddings and soul mates. We head over through the crowd, Eva stopping to greet everyone as she passes. Sawyer gives me a questioning look as we arrive, but I just give a tiny shake of my head, and thankfully, he doesn’t even mention Will, just hands me a pool cue and says,

“Prepare to lose.”

“You wish.”

For all my big talk, my heart isn’t in it. Sawyer beats me easily, and then again. Still, I keep playing: I need something to focus on, to pause between breaks and chat with my friends, tease him over missed shots and keep my mind from straying too close to the one place I can’t risk letting it linger.

Will.

“You guys will have to come up and visit,” Eva is insisting. “What do you say, Dee? Maybe you could even come back with me next week,” she suggests. “Take a few days out of town, relax, escape . . .”

I know what she’s suggesting I escape from, and to tell the truth, it’s tempting. For the first time, I realize what it’ll mean to be in Oak Harbor with Will: running into him all the time at the grocery store or here at the bar. My wretched heartbreak waiting around every corner, like an emotional time bomb ready to explode.

“Maybe.” I give her a grateful smile. “I’ve got a big pitch meeting, so I have to see how that goes first.”

“Whenever you want, just let me know,” Eva vows. “You’ve got a spot on our couch any day.”

“Couch?” I tease, managing to laugh. “Girl, your other half just sold out a world-wide stadium tour. You know I’m getting the guest suite.”

Eva grins. “I still can’t believe our apartment, it’s insane. You’ll flip when you see it!”

“I can’t wait.” I hand her the pool cue. “Here, you take my shot, I’ve got to run to the restroom.”

Eva makes a face. “Don’t blame me if I lose for you.”

Sawyer lets out a snort of laughter. “You can’t be any worse, trust me.”

“Gee, thanks.” I shove him lightly as I pass him by, heading to the bathrooms across the bar. The silence in the dark stall is abrupt after the noise outside, and I take a moment to catch my breath, rinsing my hands under the cool faucet. My reflection stares back at me in the cracked, grafittied mirror.

I could almost pass for happy. The flush in my cheeks. The smile I stretch on my lips. If you didn’t know me, you’d never guess my heart is aching with every breath, but I can see it in my eyes.

I didn’t want to be this girl.

Disappointed by a guy’s selfish lies, hurting because of his choices. I wanted to be invincible, better than this, somehow. It’s dumb, I know. I fell, just like everyone else. I connected, opened up, offered my heart—and felt the searing pain of having it torn limb from limb. I’m mixing my vital organ metaphors, but you get the point. I shake my head, turning back to the exit door. Maybe those shots are finally kicking in.

I head back out into the bustle of Friday night. I’m halfway to the pool table when an arm slides around my waist. “Looking for me?”

It’s Brody, that old fling I ran into the other day. He’s with a group of buddies, grinning and throwing back some beers. “If I was, I couldn’t miss you.” I slip out of his embrace and playfully poke his gut. “Putting on a few pounds there, Mr.”

“Are you ripping on my six-pack?” he laughs.

“More like a keg these days,” I say, and he gives me a flirty look.

“Guess I need to show you up close what the beast looks like.”

I snort with laughter. “The beast? Is that what you’re calling yourself now?”

“Don’t you forget it.” Brody winks. Then he catches sight of something over my shoulder, and steps back, putting his hands up like I’m a cop. “Uh oh, looks like your other half is here. Thought the dude was going to knock me out last time I came close.”

I turn, my heart pounding in a sick lurch.

It’s him.

Just inside the doorway, still scanning the room. He looks exactly the same as when I left him earlier this evening, which means he’s still wearing my favorite shirt, the blue plaid that brings out the green in his eyes. Last night, I wore it and nothing else to go fetch leftover takeout for us to eat in bed. I still remember the way he looked at me, that lazy, satisfied smile. “You look too good in that,” he said, reaching to tumble me back into his arms. “I’m not going to be able to wear it without picturing you naked underneath.”

Now, his eyes lock on mine from clear across the room, and the longing that cuts through me pierces clean through my chest. I’d give anything in the world to turn the clock back to that moment, when I still believed every word he said.

But even if I could rotate the earth backwards on its axis, he would still be lying, I remind myself sadly, turning away. All that time we spent together, he claimed to be such an open book, but really, he was hiding his past from me. Hiding who he really was.

“Seriously,” Brody smirks, still looking over at Will. “That dude looks pissed. Don’t tell me there’s trouble in paradise?”

“No trouble, and no paradise either,” I say lightly. My skin prickles with awareness, knowing Will’s eyes are on me, and I find myself leaning in a little closer to Brody. “So tell me about this band you’re in . . . are you going to be a rock star when you grow up?”