Reckless Abandon (November Blue, #2)(61)

represents—alone in the apartment with Adrian. I hold it together down the private elevator, through the private corridor, and

past the well-dressed doorman. I manage a polite “thank you” to the valet when he hands me my keys, before pulling into the

parking garage and sobbing until I have nothing left.

I’m hopelessly, helplessly in love with Bo Cavanaugh. My fears, my indecisions, and my insecurities have swirled a bitter cocktail

of regret in my soul. When the tears are gone and the raw pain of my decisions sears through my nerves, I drive back to Barnstable.

I have to get my shit together.





Chapter Twenty-Seven



Work has provided the perfect focal point over the last week. I’ve had a few business calls with Rae, but everything with the

community center is going smoothly. There’s not much that needs to be done on my end right now. I miss it. I miss DROP’s halls

and Rae’s smiling face everyday. I miss him.The constant anxiety I felt for half of every week for the last several weeks hasn’t

been replaced. It’s just...gone. I miss him.

Monica was shocked to find me back at my apartment last Sunday after Adrian and I broke up. I couldn’t run to Bo without making

sure I was a whole person first. I’ve been questioning what it was, exactly, that made me bail in Concord. It was fear, many

different kinds of fear. I was scared of Bill and Tristan, and confused at Bo’s involvement. I was scared, wondering if there were

other secrets. Mostly, I was scared of our pace. We fell in love in an instant; a split second blink and my entire world shifted. I

was scared that it wasn’t real...or that it was. That still scares me.

With Josh and Monica on vacation at his parents’ house, I’ve been able to go home from work, write, play my guitar, and sleep.

There have been tears. Lots of tears. But, I let them come this time. I’m looking forward to playing at Finnegan’s tonight. With

Josh out of town, Regan’s taking over guitar and vocals. Rae smiles at Regan from the crowd as we warm up.

“She’s great, isn’t she?” I whisper to Regan between vocal checks.

“She’s amazing.” His grin is infectious. “How are you holding up, Kid?”

“You know, Regan, I actually feel great. Seems my body knew that what I was doing with Adrian was wrong before my mind did. I can

’t believe how much better I feel.” I settle onto the stool as C.J. taps our starting tempo between his sticks.

After a long, sweet look, Regan strums C.J.’s tempo and we get lost in our set. Regan and C.J. have played together for years,

even as kids, so it’s up to me to keep up with their silent understanding of our playlist. We have a page or two worth of

“accepted” songs, but “The Cave” by Mumford and Sons isn’t one of them. I roll my eyes and flip C.J. off behind my back as he

and Regan start it as our closing number. Regan switches to the guitar for the number and sings with me. Thankfully, it’s one of

my favorites and I’m able to give it my best shot. Assholes.

“You pulled it off, Rapunzel. You pulled it off,” C.J. teases through the applause.

“You’re both dickheads.” I give them a smug smile.

Regan wraps his arm around my shoulders and leans down, speaking in my ear, “You’re worlds better without that Adrian guy in your

head, November. That was the best I’ve heard you sing since I’ve known you.” My cheeks burn at his interpretation of my

performance. “You were right when you said you sing for you, that’s for sure.” He pulls away as Rae hugs his waist from behind.

After they kiss, and C.J. rolls his eyes and heads to the bar, Rae turns to me.

“Thanks for taking care of Bo last week, Ember.” I shoot Regan an accusatory stare. “No,” she continues, “Bo told me ...”

“Oh. OK. It wasn’t a problem. He doesn’t drink much, huh?” I try to chuckle at his sloppy performance after the engagement

party.

“He didn’t use to.” Before the awkward silence suffocates us, she perks up. “Hey, do you want to come riding with Regan and I

next weekend?”

“Like horseback riding?”

“Yeah. There are some great trails a few miles outside of town. Family friends own a stable that we can use whenever we want. I

thought it might be fun, me, you, Bo—”

“Rae ...” I’m not in the mood to be set up on a date. Not with Bo—we’re a bit past that even if we’re not together.

“Oh come on, Ember, it’ll be fun!”

“You make a convincing argument,” I tease, “but I just don’t want to be under a microscope right now. I know you wouldn’t

intentionally make it feel that way, but...I mean your brother and I haven’t even had a sober conversation since the community

center opened.” I shake my head and shoulder up to C.J. at the bar. He slides me his just-poured beer before ordering another one.

“Thanks,” I mumble, taking a sip.

“Ember, listen.” Rae stands next to me and speaks in a near whisper, “I’m not supposed to say anything but Bo has something he