Reckless Abandon (November Blue, #2)(31)

“He said that the love he felt for me couldn’t be measured, not even by all the water in the sea beneath us,” she sniffs back

more tears, “and he said he wanted to spend forever with me. Rocky seas and all.”

“Oh, Monica.” I’m openly sobbing in front of Finnegan’s, but my smile prevents people from asking me if I’m OK. I’m perfect.

Ten minutes later, after talking dates and girly details, I nearly forget where I am when I hear applause coming from inside.

“Shit, Mon, Bo’s set is done, and I’ve left Regan in there with Rae this whole time. I’m so freaking happy for you and can’t

wait to see you two. Will you be home tomorrow?” I quickly wipe under my eyes as people start filing out of the bar.

“Yes, we’ll be home tomorrow. How was the set?”

That’s not what she wants to know.

“Everything’s fine, enjoy the rest of your weekend. I love you. Tell Josh I love him, too. Bye.”

I lean my head back against the wall and take in what’s just happened.

She said yes. They’re getting married. Forever.

When the exodus slows and I realize my party is still inside, I turn and head back through the door where, of course, I find Regan

and Bo chatting like old friends at our table. My fake smile is getting a workout these days, and I beg its appearance once more as

I sit in the chair across from Bo.

“Sorry about that, Monica called.”

“What happened? Your eyes are all red. Why were you crying?” Rae leans forward and puts her hand on my arm. Bo and Regan stop

their quiet conversation and stare at me.

“Nothing.” I smile. “Josh proposed to Monica today. They’re getting married.” I smile as salty tears roll off my lips and into

my beer while I try to swallow.

“That’s great, good for them,” Bo chimes in, a genuine smile on his lips. His eyes, however, are steeped in sadness.

Yeah, maybe that could have been us.

Rachel clearing her throat is the only indication I have that my eyes have been locked with Bo’s in a silent waltz of melancholy.

“It is great.” I try to recover from my social fumble. “They’re perfect for each other.”

“Ember, Regan says you guys are going to try some Irish rock stuff? I agree with him that you can totally pull it off.” Bo is

talking to me like his friend. Friends. I look at Rae who shrugs and smiles.

“Uh, yeah, thanks. We haven’t really tried anything yet, but it’ll be fun to learn something new.”

This will go down in history as the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had. Ever.

“Hopefully you’ll play up there, too,” Bo says. His eyes carry hopefulness, familiarity, and pleads of a connection he clearly

hopes still exists. He’s my musical soul mate. He knows it, I know it, and he’s trying to let Regan know it.

“What do you play?” Regan sounds surprised.

I shake my knee under the table nervously. Regan knows Bo’s my ex-boyfriend, and that it’s recent. I can’t explain that

everything I love about playing the guitar is wrapped up in Bo Cavanaugh. I can’t explain why I don’t want to play anymore, even

though I thought I’d be able to—singing’s hard enough knowing he’s not the one backing me up.

“Nothing. I don’t play anything.” Sweat is popping up along my hairline and the dizziness has returned. I get up and rush to the

bathroom.

And I throw up.

No way can I be friends with Bo. What I felt when he was singing was far from friendship. It’s not his fault, I think between

heaves on the cold floor. He seems to really be trying to maintain a pleasant atmosphere, since apparently, we’re going to be

seeing a lot of each other. I lean back against the stall door, contemplating making Lost Dog my new hang out, when the bathroom

door opens.

“Ember?” Rachel speaks quietly as she knocks on my stall.

This is mortifying.

I wipe tears and saliva from my face as I stand to open the door.

“Sorry.” I sneak past her and head for the sink in an attempt to clean up my streaked and splotchy face. “I just had a lot of

emotions churn through me in the last half hour. They asked to be deposited there.” I chuckle as I point to the toilet.

Rae doesn’t smile. Instead, she comes up behind me and wraps an arm around my waist. “It’s hard for him, too, you know. He was a

mess the whole ride down. I’m surprised he didn’t pull over to throw up himself.” She takes a deep breath and meets my gaze

through the mirror before she continues, “This is the only time I’m going to say this because I care about you too much as a

friend to push it, but, he loves you, Ember. It’s not going to stop anytime soon, no matter what I say to him, or how you act. I

think you love him, too, though I’d never tell him that. He’s willing to be your friend if that’s what it takes to stay in your

life. Let him be your friend.”

“I really do love you, you know that, Rae? I can try, for you and for now, to be his friend—a thoroughly embarrassed friend at

the moment, but a friend. If it gets too weird, I’ll need a new plan.” I swish some water around my mouth, ignoring her