RECLAIM MY HEART(42)

sp we mHe snatched a couple of tissues from the box on the bedside table and tucked them into her hand.
She wiped her nose and wadded the tissues in her palm. “I was the jerk, Lucas. I mean, I-I’m—” emotion hitched her voice “—sure he th-thought I was, anyway. But I just couldn’t do it. I had to tell him that I just couldn’t do it.”
Sobs wracked her slender body, and a lump rose in his throat.
Just ten minutes ago, he’d been as irritated as hell, and he’d intended to tell her exactly what he thought of her lousy choice of husbands, or future husbands, or what-the-hell-ever. But all of that had dissolved into nothing in an instant, and the only thing he could think about was hugging away all of her sadness.
But then the strangest thought seeped into his brain. Although his shirt was dry now, he’d been sweaty out on the basketball court. He probably smelled to high heaven. As inconspicuously as possible, he turned his head and sniffed.
He looked up and realized he’d been caught in the act. Her chin trembled with upset at the same time her mouth quirked with a helpless smile.
“What are you doing?” she asked, suddenly chuckling and crying at the same time.
His brow furrowed and he lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been playing ball with the boys. Keeping up with them made me all sweaty.” Resting his hand on her bare knee felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. “I probably smell like a wet hound.”
“You’re fine,” she told him. “Come up here.”
She pinched the sleeve of his t-shirt between her fingers and gave a little tug. He rose, sliding to sit beside her on the mattress. Her inhalation was deep; then she shook out the tissues and blew her nose. She sat a moment, taking a couple more full, slow breaths. “Believe it or not, I think I was crying because I’m relieved.”
He kept quiet even though he still didn’t understand what the heck had happened between her and Henderson.
“There must be something wrong with me.” Still clutching the damp tissues, she lifted her hands, palms up, staring at the far wall of the bedroom. “What is the matter with me?”
Her tone told him she wasn’t expecting an answer. Not from him, anyway. Even if she was, he wouldn’t dare say a word.
She took another deep breath and then leaned over and plucked a fresh tissue from the box. After folding it in half, she dabbed at the outside corners of her eyes.
“He picked me up in the grocery store. Rob, I mean.” She darted a quick look at Lucas, her mouth twisting. “In the produce department.”
“You’re kidding?” A chuckle slipped out before he could catch it. “I thought that kind of thing only happened in deodorant commercials on television.”
Her eyes were still moist when she grinned, but at least she’d stopped crying. “And you have body odor on the brain.”
All he could do was nod in silent agreement. The questions running through his mind were distracting, but he thought it best to wait her out.
“I was choosing avocadoes for guacamole, and he asked me how to tell when they were ripe.” Her gaze slid to the battered mahogany dresser a few feet away. “Rob and I started dating and—” she lifted her hands again “—it was…?easy. He didn’t ask more of me than I could give. He didn’t seem to mind that my job required that I work nights and weekends. It isn’t easy dating someone who works every Saturday night. He didn’t bat an eye when I told him that I had a son.”
Yeah, he all but ignores that little fact. Lucas clamped his jaw tight.
“I wasn’t expecting him to ask me to marry him,” she continued. “And when he did, I don’t really know why I said yes. It just seemed…?the s…ctinnext logical step?”
Her blue eyes welled with tears again, and she ran her hands anxiously up and down her thighs—and that’s when he noticed her left hand. Her ring finger was bare.
“You don’t marry someone because it’s easy, right?” Her chin trembled again. “What the hell is wrong with me?”
She looked him directly in the eye, and there was nothing vague about the query this time. Clearly, she wanted an answer, but he thought it wise to keep his lip zipped.
The old alarm clock on the bedside table ticked loudly in the quiet that fell around them. He’d never known silence between two people could become so jarring.
Finally, he murmured, “There’s nothing wrong with you, Tyne.”
She rolled her eyes.
“I’d never thought about it, you know?” Her voice hiked an octave. “If I loved him, I mean. How could I not have thought about it? Oh, I’d have said I loved him just because—”
Her chin dipped in an effort to hide her wince.
“—well, I did agree to marry him.” She lifted her gaze to his. “But until you asked me about it this weekend, Lucas, I never really sat down and reasoned it all out.” Softly, she added, “That just sounds so crazy to me. That I hadn’t put any real thought into why I was planning to get married.”
When he’d asked her about Henderson at the café, he’d thought her shocked expression had been in response to his ballsy, bad manners.
“I’d never call myself the most intelligent woman in the world, but I’m sure not stupid. I don’t live with my head in the clouds. I’m not a ditzy blonde.” She looked up at him. “Am I?”
Ready to assure her she was not, he only had a chance to smile before she barreled ahead.
“Granted, I took on a great deal of responsibility when I bought a partnership in the business. We expanded operations, we took on more clients.” She moistened her lips and reached out to toss the tissues into the wicker basket near the bed. “But I couldn’t possibly have been so busy that I could blindly walk into this whole marriage thing…?turn it into such a horrible mess.”