Puddle Jumping(34)

It was brand new. Less than twenty-four hours old.

The news that would rip a hole in my chest wide open and cause my entire life to fold in around me like a half-assed house of cards.

He looked so pleased. And why not? It was quite an accomplishment, really. I couldn’t argue. And he spoke directly to me when he said it out loud for the first time. Sheila gathered us around as she prompted Colton to speak. Her smile was so electric. She was proud. Beaming at how far he’d come. She stood by my side and squeezed my shoulders.

“He asked to tell everyone at once.”

His father stood off with my parents, practically bursting with joy. My mom and dad were probably as confused as I was. And even though I was standing in a crowd of people I trusted and loved, I had never felt more alone than in that moment.

Colton, so happy and proud; smiling wide and eyes downcast for a moment before lifting, simply said it as best as he could.

“I’ve been offered an internship in England through the museum.”

My heart died.

Fell right out of my chest and onto the bright green grass beneath my feet as I stared at him, muted by shock.

“I’ll be boarding a plane to leave the country on August thirteenth at nine p.m.” Another smile. Joyous applause and congratulations from the crowd of onlookers.

Except from me.

Except from me and my parents. Maybe Harper, too. I don’t quite remember because the haze was too thick. The memory, while not that old, is hard to pinpoint because it’s surreal, you know?

“The junior curator will accompany him. He’ll be well taken care of.” Sheila said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and my heart wasn’t breaking right beside her.

I dropped my cup at my feet; sticky liquid hitting my exposed toes. And I think that’s when people started to get quiet.

“What about school?” My hands, they were shaking so badly, but I couldn’t make them stop. We’d talked about this. I wasn’t going far. We’d talked about transferring to the same college eventually. We’d talked about the future . . .

He looked at me with that expression that killed me on the inside. So honest. Pure. “I’ll be tutored abroad.”

It was then I lost all semblance of control, my head falling to my chest as I started to cry so hard I couldn’t see. “You’re leaving me?” Hands were on me. Comforting. My parents. Perhaps even Harper, but I wasn’t sure because I didn’t let it last too long.

Instead, I pushed by all of them, not even offering a final word to Colton as I ran through the backyard and into the house to escape out the front door.





I knew then. It was all over. There would be no way to be with Colton if we weren’t actually together. The reality of how much our relationship depended on physical contact and constant close proximity crashed down on me like a ton of bricks as I stumbled down the driveway and onto the sidewalk. We had plans to go to school near each other so it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d made plans.

I needed the time to think. To clear my mind. I could hear the voices of our respective mothers calling out for me. I could hear my father’s voice above both of theirs. I knew the sound of the footsteps chasing after me were Harper’s.

But they weren’t the person I wanted to follow me across the street.

I wanted Colton.

And as of that moment, he was no longer mine. In just a few weeks’ time, he would be in another country. Thriving, doing what he wanted to do more than anything else in his life.

Maybe our relationship had given him that confidence. He was going to go intern and paint in England. He would live this incredible life his parents had always dreamed of for him. He was going to be okay with this change to his routine because it involved his passion. His first love.

And I would be no one.

Just a girl with half her heart missing.

On some level, it was selfish of me to have left. But I couldn’t see my actions beyond my tears. I walked until Harper pulled up in her car and demanded that I get in so that she could take me home. I packed my bags, left a note for my parents, and went to stay with her for the remainder of the weekend.

Harper raged. She hated Sheila. I should have been told aside from everyone else so I could properly respond. It was his mom’s fault. But I knew better. Sure, she could see me as a girl in a relationship, but when it came down to it, she was a proud mother. And I had no idea if I would have responded in any other way if told one-on-one.

It didn’t take the sting out of my reality, though.

I ended up sending Colton an email congratulating him on his opportunity. There was no way I could bring myself to talk with him. It was too painful to think he might have had a clue something was wrong, but not really . . . and the resulting conversations would be me lying the entire time to let him be happy-go-lucky about his future without me. I was selfish enough not to answer his because I couldn’t bear to see what he would say.

My parents attempted to talk to me, but for once, I asked just to be left alone. And I guess they weren’t used to that, so they did as I requested. There were a lot of phone calls involving yelling on my mother’s end. I had to assume it was Sheila she was talking so harshly to. But I couldn’t find it in myself to care.

I hadn’t gone into a relationship with Colton to become dependent. I hadn’t thought by integrating myself so thoroughly in his life, it would have resulted in me revolving my entire existence around him.