Puddle Jumping(12)

I said the only thing that popped into my mind. “You can do anything with me, Colton.”

Trust me, he didn’t quite get the innuendo, but my red as hell cheeks sure did. He just thanked me quietly and said goodbye as he exited the car, stating that he would call me at eight o’clock.

I was thrilled. Ecstatic, even. Girly squeals were trapped in my throat as I rushed into my bedroom and tried to focus on anything other than his impending phone call, but it was no use. I pretty much stared at my phone for two hours wondering if the AT&T satellite had actually bitten the dust, or if I had suddenly developed a dead space in my bedroom that was stopping me from receiving outside phone calls.

Turns out it wasn’t either of those things. Colton simply needed to finish his nightly routine before attempting to call me. Any semblance of normalcy would kind of counteract going out of his comfort zone that night.

But he did call. He called at exactly eight o’clock. And after an initial awkward start, and feeling like I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, we settled into a nice conversation. That night I realized he was just another seventeen-year-old boy, one who happened to be high functioning, and just wanted to be seen as a regular guy.

He trusted me implicitly to be his friend, and I was doing my best. But I was falling for him, and falling for him fast.

The realization made my heart hurt and also caused a sense of nervousness to settle deep in my gut. It came down to the simple truth that I could do all I could to learn about him and what he needed, but would it be possible for him to do the same?

Nothing in my life up until that point had even been close to being as confusing as that particular scenario. It was like it was happening inside me way too fast, yet it had been set up for seven years to be that way. He’d always been there, regardless of whether I allowed myself to think of him. I’d always been in the back of his mind, whether he could tell me that or not.

That evening we talked about music and I realized we basically had the same taste when it came to that, except he was also really into classical, which I waffled on learning about at some point. There were some things my brain just wouldn’t accept.

He talked a little about movies, but it didn’t seem to be something he was very interested in. He liked architecture, and of course, he loved art. I mentioned going to a museum and he’d barely responded so, I’d changed my approach by saying I would like him to take me to a museum one day. That seemed to do the trick and I made mental notes to converse with him in a no-nonsense and straight forward way. But I promised to never force him to do something he didn’t want to do. I trusted that he’d say no if he needed to.

It would be hard for me, since I was used to being able to have people read the tone of my voice, or the look on my face. This was completely foreign to him. But it was a bit of a rush knowing I would be on the same uncharted ground as he was. We were almost on a level playing field at that point and it was scary but refreshing at the same time. I could learn right along with him. I could learn him.

I knew it didn’t matter what other people said about me if I was going to pursue him in other ways. I just needed to know how to be strong in order to face any judgment that might occur. One thing was for certain, I needed to talk to someone who had been in the same position I was.

I didn’t even have to ask. Quinn did first.

She walked by as I was leaving Colton in the Resources class and pulled on my arm. “Walk with me.”

In the library, she sat me down across from her, tilted her head, and got straight to the point.

“You want to date Colton, don’t you?”

“Yes.” It was so nice not to hold it inside anymore. And then I started rattling off all of these questions about how I should go about it and the what- ifs involved. But right before I thought I’d run out of breath, she cut me off.

“Whoa. Hold on.” Her hand was in the air again as I stopped mid-sentence and pressed my lips together. I clearly remember they were shaking and I worried I was going to bite straight through them if she didn’t let me finish.

“You like Colton.”

I nodded.

“And you want to date him.”

I shrugged that time because it was too soon to say yes, but . . . hell yeah, I did.

“But you’re afraid that . . . what? People are going to make fun of you, so you want my opinion on how to deal?”

It sounded so shallow, really. But I wanted Colton to be seen as more than this diagnosis, only I didn’t know how to do it.

Her face was super serious while she thought. “Dating Sawyer isn’t like dating Colton.”

“I know. But no two couples are the same, right?” The knot in my stomach was making me nauseous because I didn’t want to come across as a bitch about any of it. “Do any of your friends know Sawyer is in that class? Because I didn’t have a clue before I saw him on the first day of school. And if so, how do they treat him? Or you? How do you make them see he’s not different?”

It was then that she finally got it.

“The squad knows. His teammates know. And I think at first they were making fun of him a little, but he’s not any different than he was before they found out. He’s funny and smart.” Her eyes on me made me pay closer attention. “You have no idea how smart he is. And kind.”

“Is that why you eat at their table? Because I never noticed that before, either.”