Puddle Jumping(11)

The brown edges of the picture were calling me to investigate further, but it was in my best interest to tone my stalking down, just a smidge, so I ignored it. Plus, he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it. At all.

We rode together in silence that felt like a million pulses of static up my arms and neck. It was such a short ride that I didn’t want to ask him more about art for fear I wouldn’t get him to stop when we got to the parking lot, but according to my research, any other questions would have gotten me one word answers.

Like, “Do you like music?” could get a response of ‘yes’ and that would have been it.

It was such a stressful moment that I couldn’t get my hands to stop shaking on the steering wheel and eventually talked myself into believing the silence was probably best so he could just get used to riding with me.

I’m not a very good driver, if I’m being completely candid.

The day went better than expected and by the time lunch rolled around I hadn’t really given any thought to where I would sit. Harper had tried to talk to me in first period about Joseph but I told her I didn’t want to get into it at school. I wasn’t really sure if she was going to try and strong-arm me into sitting at the table and force me to hash it all out in public.

Instead, she sent me a text right before I got there letting me know she was skipping out to meet with a junior in the parking lot.

I didn’t even think twice about going to sit with Colton and his friends. I just did it.

Quinn’s eyes darted back and forth between Colton and me a hell of a lot. She’d worn this knowing look on her face the entire lunch period as I pretended to listen to Marissa ramble and switch topics faster than a meth addict with a remote would change channels between hits. I smirked a little, too, when I noticed Colton’s stare fixated on my thighs halfway through a conversation. It just reinforced the fact he was a regular boy, regardless of whatever obstacle he might have been born with that stopped him from showing it as boldly as someone else.

English was even better because I got to sit next to him as Mr. Mercer taught, and I could hear him talking under his breath every once in a while when the teacher said something wrong, or grammatically incorrect.

He’d clearly had some incredible tutors.

Butterflies exploded in my stomach when I drove him to his class at the college, and after walking him inside, it was determined it would be better for me to wait in the hallway so Colton didn’t feel more awkward having me there. Everyone else in the room was on a level playing field. They could have jumped back a few steps in their progress with my presence.

I waited for the hour he was inside, playing on my phone, wondering what he was learning.

He appeared by my side immediately after the doors were opened, and he had this weird look on his face, like he was purposely unaffected. His hands were pushed into his pockets again and I remember vividly that the front of his yellow t-shirt was haphazardly tucked behind his belt buckle while he nodded toward me once in acknowledgement.

“Are you ready to go home?” I asked, wondering if I should take him straight there or offer to get him some dinner.

But his response made my mouth hang open in shock.

“Whatever.”

I blinked and pressed my lips together, trying to form a response. “Whatever?”

“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

And then he looked at me and the corner of his mouth pulled up into a sly smile. “They taught us that tonight to help us blend in with our peers.”

It made my heart leap out of my chest and I had to resist the urge to hug him and laugh all at once because he looked so damn cute and a little proud as he said it. Instead, I stood and gave him an awkward double thumbs’ up of approval.

“You totally nailed it,” I told him, my own smile creeping up on me until I couldn’t hide it anymore.

It felt like the beginning of something incredible.





I learned pretty quickly Colton’s mind worked in literal terms and I would have to watch the way I spoke to him if I wanted to effectively communicate.

It was the small stuff that made me wonder how I could help him interact with other kids aside from his core group at the lunch table. They all seemed to know how to talk to him in terms he could work with. Well, except for Marissa who talked so fast I think Colton usually blocked her out like she was background noise or a humming in his brain. Especially since she never asked any questions.

It became my whole mission in life to make it as easy on him as possible. Maybe I should have thought about how hard it would be, but at the time I could barely even imagine it.

He seemed to settle into our new routine of me picking him up and dropping him off each day. Every time I would pull up to his house, I would chant in my brain for him to ask me to come inside. To invite me upstairs. But he never did.

A couple weeks later, after one of his PEERS classes, he sat on the ride home in his usual detached silence that I was becoming accustomed to.

I asked him how the class went and instead of answering he blurted out loudly, “Lilly. May I have your phone number to call you later this evening?”

Yeah, I was as shocked as you are. Believe me.

I said, “Of course.” Followed by a very firm, “Yes.”

It made me smile when he’d actually looked less tense after I answered. “Our homework is to start a conversation. I would feel most comfortable doing that with you, if you don’t mind.” Eyes still straight forward. Body language still stiff.