Proving Paul's Promise(58)

“Can we see you again another day?”

I nod. Now that I’ve been this close to Jacob, I don’t think I could stay away. It was almost easier not knowing where he was or what he was doing or what he looked like or what he smelled like or the way he smiled.

“He looks like you,” she says.

“He looks like his dad, too.”

“Do you have any pictures of him? I’d love for Jacob to see them when he’s ready.”

I look at her. “He knows that someone else gave birth to him?”

She lays a hand on her chest. “He knows he grew in my heart while he grew in someone else’s belly.”

I like that. I like it a lot.

“I want you to have whatever place you want to have in his life. You can just be the really sweet lady we met in the park one day, or you can be the woman who gave birth to him. It’s completely up to you.”

I nod. I am suddenly choked with emotion. A hot tear rolls down my face, and I brush it back. “I’m pregnant,” I say.

Her eyebrows arch. “Congratulations?” she asks. She looks from Paul to me and back.

“It’s not his. I volunteered to be a surrogate for some friends of mine.”

Her gaze gets soft.

“So, it might be best to wait and decide what to tell him later. I don’t want him to think I just give up all my babies.” I lay a hand on my stomach.

“When will you be done torturing yourself?” she asks. She lays her chin on her upturned palm and gazes at me. “We do the best we can with what we have.”

I nod and get to my feet. I walk around the table, and she stands up in front of me. I open my arms, and she hugs me tightly, and then whispers in my ear. “Thank you.”

I don’t know if she’s thanking me for coming today, or if she’s thanking me for giving her my son, or if she’s thanking me for something else I don’t understand. “You’re welcome,” I grunt out.

“Jacob!” she calls over my shoulder. “It’s time to go.”

Jacob runs over, and he stops at my feet. He looks up at me and smiles. He holds up a purple piece of chalk. “Do you want to keep the purple?” he asks. “It’s my favorite color.”

I take it from him and squat down. “Thank you so much,” I say. I desperately want to hug him. But I am afraid to.

Suddenly, Jacob launches himself at me and wraps his arms around my neck. I fall back gently onto my butt, and we roll to the ground. I can’t keep from laughing as he hugs me. I wrap my arms around him and bend my head so I can smell his hair. He has that little-boy smell that reminds me of the outdoors and purple shampoo.

Finally, he squeaks and starts to squirm, and I realize I’ve held him too long so I let him go. It wasn’t nearly long enough, though. Not even close. He steps back and wraps his arms around Jill’s legs. “Can Friday come over and play with me one day?” he asks.

Jill nods.

“Call me,” I say.

They walk off together hand in hand, and I watch them until they disappear from sight. Paul comes toward me from the other direction with Hayley’s hand in his. “How angry are you?” he asks. He cocks his head and looks at me like an inquisitive puppy.

“I’m not angry.”

I touch the top of Hayley’s head and tell her, “I’ll see you later, Hayles, okay? I have some errands I have to run.”

She nods, and I walk away.

“Friday,” Paul calls. But I don’t turn back. I can barely see for the tears blurring my eyes, but I’ll be f*cked sideways before I’ll let anyone see them fall.





Paul

Shit. I f*cked that all up. It was going so well and she looked so f*cking happy. Watching Friday with her son was like watching chocolate being poured over ice cream. It was warm and soothing, and they just belonged together. The two of them in the same place—it was magical. It was meant to be. My only regret is that I didn’t warn her. I didn’t give her notice that we would be meeting them. But she might not have come if I had told her. I run a frustrated hand through my hair.

Hayley pulls on my hand. “Where is Friday going?”

As far from me as she can get, I’d imagine. “She said she had to run some errands. I don’t know.”

She blinks up at me, her blue eyes big and wide. “Is she coming home later?”

I don’t know. “I think so.”

“Why is she mad at you?” She’s all innocence and wonder.

“What makes you think she’s mad at me?” I narrow my eyes at her.

“She looked like she was going to cry.”

Fuck. She did. I pick up my phone and call Matt. “Hey,” I say.

“What the f*ck do you want?” he replies. But he has that playful tone in his voice that’s all Matt.

“Hayley wants to come over and touch Sky’s belly.”

“Oh,” he says. He puts his hand over the phone and says something to someone. “Bring her over. Sky’s belly will be waiting.”

I wait a beat.

“What’s wrong?” he says.

“I think I messed up.”

“Friday?”

“Yeah.”

“Bad?”

“Yeah.”