Protege(81)

Pulled from her thoughts, she shook her head. “Nothing. I’m sorry.” She straightened her posture as if that could make up for the missed chance.

He sighed. “Sweetheart, it’s fine. You’re too hard on yourself. You may relax.”

But she couldn’t. Something inside her demanded she remain stiff, holding her pose strong to show him how much she wanted to please him.

He began with his phone calls and she held the position. Her shoulders were the first to ache and every time she wanted to roll her neck to relieve some of the tension, she forbade it.

Next, her knees went numb and the tops of her feet tingled with pins and needles. Jude continued on the phone, sometimes pacing, other times reclining in his chair. He referred back to his computer often, pulling up data and reviewing details with the person on the other line.

By his fourth call her thighs were trembling and her fingertips held the beat of her heart. When he finally hung up the phone, over two hours had passed.

“I’m sorry that took so long. It’s almost time for our workout.” He stilled as if fully looking at her for the first time since he returned. His face darkened and she suddenly shrank into her pillow, her numb legs failing her as blood shifted and lightheadedness made her sway.

He cursed and caught her before she hit the floor. She hissed at the painful rush of blood traveling through her numb limbs, prickling painfully as sensation returned. Steadying her, he scowled as she winced and tried to stretch her legs. Pins and needles spiked into her all the way to her hips.

“Damn it, Collette, what were you thinking staying like that all this time. I told you to relax. Stay still and let the blood come back naturally. Stop trying to force it.”

She knew it wouldn’t last, but the acute tingling was excruciating. He huffed and shook his head. “I should have been more attuned. I told you to relax,” he repeated, frustration clear in his voice. “What was the point of doing this to yourself?”

“I wanted to show you I could wait.”

“I didn’t tell you to wait like that. I asked you to relax on a pillow while I made a few phone calls. I trusted you to do as I asked.” Mouth tight with displeasure, he chafed her feet and legs, working the blood around and easing the pain. It slowly faded and she sighed.

“I’m sorry. I was upset I wasn’t presenting properly when you came in and I wanted to show you I could do better.”

This didn’t seem to appease him. “I see.” Placing her on the chair, he stood. “And did I seem upset at the way I found you?”

“No—”

“Did I, in any way, express disappointment?”

“No—”

“And have I ever given the impression that you’re responsible for selecting discipline measures?”

“No, but—”

“Then you had no right to punish yourself. If I think you deserve punishment, I will decide and dispense it. You’re not to concern yourself with such things, and I am disappointed that you would do so. I’m also unhappy with what you’ve done to your body. I was on the phone for nearly two hours, Collette. I would never make a person sit perfectly still for that length of time. It’s totally irresponsible and unhealthy. On top of all of this, part of the blame’s mine for failing to notice what you were doing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” He paced and rubbed the back of his head. Her limbs still tingled a bit. “I want you to sit there for a few moments longer until you feel safe to stand. Do not get off that seat until you’re certain you can do so safely. Then I want you to go to the gym and dress for our exercise. You’ll walk for the entire hour then we’ll discuss your punishment for putting yourself in danger.”

When he left her chin quivered. She shouldn’t have done this. Her only intention was to make a point, but she’d certainly made the wrong one. Now, as her legs shuddered under her weight and she walked like a newborn fawn, she agreed she might have been a bit too hard on herself. How the hell was she supposed to walk an hour like this?

Perhaps the walking would help restore her coordination. Taking several breaks, she slowly made it to the gym. Her ass was tingling, too, and the muscles in her arms were already stiff and sore.

As she crept through the main room, she shrank into the shadows. Jude was working the bag in the corner and looking pretty upset. She wanted to go to him and apologize again, but he often made it clear that when he was upset he would come to her when ready. This was one of those moments he seemed to need time to collect himself.

In the back room, she slipped on her workout clothes and slowly tied her shoes. The echoes of his fists pounding into the bag along with his grunts had her shrinking, not that she feared he’d take his temper out on her. She was mostly upset because she’d put him in such a mood.

Again she faced the urge to criticize herself and dwell on her less-than-stellar behavior. It seemed one silly misunderstanding was spiraling into several consequences. When the truth was, he didn’t seem to mind from the start. Now he minded. He minded very much.

She stepped onto the treadmill and their eyes met in the mirror. He watched as she slowly started to walk. His gaze continuously returned to her throughout the hour.

She never made it to her typical pace, which really wasn’t anything impressive. The walking did help her circulation return to normal, however. Jude wandered around the gym, always good scenery, but today she had a hard time keeping her head up to watch him. His disappointment weighed on her like a physical ache.