Protecting Her(121)

“Pearce, we need to sit down and go over our social calendar,” Katherine says as she walks up to me in the living room.

“Not right now,” I say.

Katherine spends all her time planning our social life. She fills every spare moment of my time. If I’m not at work, I’m attending some high-society event with her. She knows I don’t want to go to these things, but telling her no always turns into a fight so I’ve found it’s just easier to go along with it.

“This weekend is the dinner party at my parents’ house,” she says. “My mother said Royce and Victoria will be there.”

I’m dreading this dinner party. I can’t stand her parents, especially Leland. I’ve always hated him. And I don’t want to be around Royce. I try to avoid him whenever possible. In a few years, he’s running for president, so he’s even more obnoxious and pretentious than he used to be. But at least he’s a decent father to his girls. He and Victoria now have four daughters. He’s given up trying to have a son.

“Pearce, are you listening to me?” Katherine asks. “Next Monday we have to attend an auction for—”

“I can’t discuss this right now.” I glance upstairs. “I have to deal with Garret.”

“You can’t do anything about him, Pearce. He’s a teenager. You know how children that age are. They’re moody and obstinate. You need to stop coddling him and allow him to become a man.”

“He’s only 13. He’s not even close to being a man. And he needs his father, whether he likes it or not.”

She smooths my tie and looks up at me. “Our baby also needs a father, much more so than Garret does. He’s practically grown up.”

“He’s not grown up. He’s still a child. He acts out because I don’t spend enough time with him. That needs to change. I can’t be going to all these events with you. We’re never home, and now that Garret is back, I need to spend time with him.”

“You need to spend time with your wife!” She steps back and puts her hands on her narrow hips. She’s still very thin, with almost no curves. The woman never eats.

“You’re an adult. You don’t need my constant attention. Garret is a child and he’s struggling and he needs his father. I’m not going to abandon him just so I can attend charity events with you. We are cutting back on our social engagements and I am going to spend more time with Garret.”

“I am NOT letting that out-of-control teenager take over our lives! I never should’ve agree to let him live here. He hasn’t even been back an hour and he’s already ruining everything! I’m completely stressed, and it’s all because of him. He needs to leave. If you refuse to send him to boarding school, then have him go live with your parents.”

“He is not living with my parents. He is living here. With us. And he is not out of control. He’s just having a hard time adjusting to all the changes in his life. I’m not surprised that he’s upset.”

“So is that how it’s going to be? He gets to act however he wants? Use foul language? Fight with me? Walk around yelling and screaming and slamming doors? And instead of being punished, you’ll just make excuses for him?” She exhales forcefully. “No! I will NOT allow it. This is MY house and I will NOT allow Garret to control us or how we live!”

She storms off. I just let her go. I don’t want to fight with her, especially about Garret. She doesn’t like him and it’s no use trying to change her mind. Even if Garret was a perfect child, she still wouldn’t like him because he’s not hers.

Katherine and I fight all the time, and not just about Garret. We fight about everything. I try to avoid it, but as Garret said, Katherine tends to instigate arguments. I think she actually likes creating problems. She likes the drama of it. The tension. It adds some excitement to her otherwise boring life.

When we first got married, Katherine and I tried not to fight. We didn’t talk much so that helped. She didn’t act like the immature teenager she used to be, but I still had no interest in her. But we slept in the same bed and she’s somewhat attractive so we eventually had sex. I hadn’t done it since being with Rachel, and after it was over I felt extreme guilt.

Katherine pushed me to do it again, saying it’s what married people do. I reminded her that our marriage was fake, but she said that, to her, it was real. She even said that she loved me. I felt bad for her and felt like she actually wanted this to work, so I tried to be more receptive to her. I tried to make it more like a real marriage. I took her out to dinner, bought her flowers, kissed her hello and goodbye every day, and had sex with her at night. But I felt like it wasn’t me doing those things. I felt like it was someone else. The me that existed before I met Rachel. The man who felt nothing. Who put on a fake act for appearance’s sake. The man who did what he was told because he was too tired to fight. The man who really didn’t care about anything because he felt nothing.