Present Perfect(109)

“Is it because I said I loved you?” Panic was starting to show through her tone. “You don’t have to say it back right now, if you don’t feel it yet.”

The look in her eyes was pathetic. I don’t understand why girls can’t just let things go. Why do they need to dig and dig for an answer or explanation until they force a guy to hurt them in order to get the point across? I didn’t have the time or patience to deal with a beggar today. I needed to turn her into a hater, so I wouldn’t be late for dinner.

“Becca, the thing is I’m never going to feel it for you.”

“Why?” Her voice cracked and tears were streaming down her face.

“Because, I’m just not.” I glanced at my watch seeing the time ticking away rapidly as my impatience grew.

“But, I’ve always done everything you asked me to do and I don’t think I’ve asked a lot of you. I don’t need to hear you say the words, Brad. Just don’t run because I said them.”

“I’m not running because you said them,” pausing for a moment, I knew what I was about to say would tear into her, but she left me no choice. “Becca, it was fun for a while, but now it’s over. We were never anything more than f*ck buddies, more emphasis on the f*ck than buddies. I’m done, and I need to leave now or I’ll be late for my dinner.”

Not giving her a second to respond, I grabbed my jacket, turned, and was out the door in one fluid movement.





The next day I was pulling into the campus, headed to Jason’s to pick up the notes he was lending me from class. I parked the car and started walking towards his dorm. As I rounded the corner I was met by a flurry of people and activity that caused me to stop. I recognized a lot of faculty, staff, and students standing around talking. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Shit Brad, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all morning,” Jason said with relief in his voice.

“I’ve had my phone turned off since last night. I forgot to turn it back on.” Mom had always outlawed cellphones at the dinner table. I should say she outlawed mine and my brother, Peyton’s, cellphones at the dinner table. She, on the other hand, said she needed hers close by for business purposes. She is such a hypocrite.

“I’m really sorry, man. Are you doing okay?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

The look Jason gave me went from concern, to confusion, to shocking realization.

“You don’t know?”

“Know what?” I asked.

My gaze shifted away from him towards the crowd of people standing around the ambulance that I hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s Becca…”

Those were the last words I heard before seeing a white sheet covered stretcher, flanked by two paramedics coming out of the dorm across the parking lot. In one torrential downpour the sights and sounds flooded my senses. I heard crying, gasps, orders being yelled, car doors being slammed, and sirens.

Not looking at Jason, I asked, “What happened?”

“I’m sorry, Brad, I thought you knew. I mean I know you guys have been together for several months…I just assumed someone had already told you.”

“Told me what?”

He placed his hand on my shoulder in comfort and said, “Becca killed herself last night.”

“Fuck me.”





I sat at the computer alone and wrote Present Perfect, but this book is far from being a solo project. There were so many wonderful people that had a hand in bringing this book to life.

To Jef Bailey: Thank you for your complete support. You were patient while I freaked out over missing files, notes, and doubts. You were my eyes when mine were too tired and blurry to see and you helped me put things in perspective when I was overwhelmed. I appreciate you more than you know.

To Buster and Jack: It would be remiss of me if I didn’t thank my two silent writing partners, my dogs. Yes, you read correctly. I’m thanking my dogs. They were by my side day and night listening to me talk, laugh, cry, and curse. Only two things drove them into the other room to hide, the sound of thunder and the sound of me dropping the F-bomb over and over again.

To Kelley Forsberg, my sister: Thank you for the love, support, and encouragement not only with this book, but throughout my life. We will always share a special bond. I wouldn’t be here today without you.

To my Perfect betas: Each of you overwhelmed me with your passion and commitment. You made me a better writer during this process.

Beth Hyams (You will always be Beth Anne to me. I remembered the ‘e’.): You’ve been with me through everything in my life- the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. I cherish our friendship so much. It means everything to me, having you by my side throughout this journey. I love you.

Stacy Bailey Darnell (aka Princess): I would need to write a thousand more books to thank you as much as you deserve and it still wouldn’t be enough. Your support, guidance, humor, and friendship mean the world to me. Present Perfect was already a success before it was even released because through the process of creating it I got to know you better. Love ya, P!

Lisa Harley (aka HS): This is all your fault. You inspired me, guided me, kicked my butt when I needed it, and created my Cade. You have my undying love and respect.