Playing It Safe(81)

He inches over to me then, placing his hand on my back, and I close my eyes at the contact. “Julia, I’m telling you the truth. Please believe me.”

“Alex, what happens when she calls again? Because you and I both know that she will.”

“She won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you.”

“Ugh, seriously, are you blind? She’s in love with you or infatuated with you, and she won’t stop until she’s with you.” He’s quiet, so I keep going. “Do you have any idea what it was like for me to see the man I love having dinner with the girl who called me trash and said I wasn’t good enough for you?”

Alex’s eyes widen in shock because I guess it never got back to him what happened at Josie’s party and how I ended up with this lovely reminder on my face.

“What did you just say?”

I point to my face. “This right here was caused by not paying attention because I was too busy eavesdropping on Marisa telling someone at the party how I was trash and not good enough for you.” And then as an afterthought I add, “Oh, and that she couldn’t believe we were dating at all and that it was basically only a matter of time before you’re with her.”

“I know. Vanessa told me all of that already. That’s not what I was asking about.”

“You knew about that and yet you still lied to me and went out with her?” My eyes roll up to the heavens in disbelief. “This shit just gets better and better.”


“I spoke to her about that and told her she needed to apologize.”

“Alex, if I ever see her again, I cannot be held accountable for what I do. So she can save the apology, and you can tell her in person because I have no doubt that you’ll be seeing her again.”

He grabs my chin then and tilts it toward him in a swift movement. “Enough, Julia. Go back and tell me what you said before.”

“When? What are you even talking about?”

“When you were telling me about what it was like for you tonight to see me with her.”

My hand shoots up and latches on to his wrist to pull him off of me, but he’s too strong for me. “You know what, Alex? I think it’s time for you to go because I’m done with this conversation.”

He grins at me before letting go of my chin and casually kicking back on my couch. “I’m not leaving.”

“You’re not leaving?”

“Nope.”

Fucking men! Jesus H. Christ, do they ever listen?

I stand up, so infuriated by him, and start to pace in front of the coffee table. Through my clenched teeth and in the quietest, calmest voice I can muster, I say to him again, “Please leave.”

“Like I said, I’m not leaving until you tell me what it was like for you to see me with her.”

Have you ever seen a cartoon where one of the characters has smoke blowing out of their ears? Or when they blow off the top of their head from anger or rage? That is exactly what I feel like when I start to shout at him. “Fine! You want to know what it was like? It was like a f*cking knife to the heart! I hated it and wanted to scratch her eyes out after I kicked your ass up and down Coconut Grove!”

He stands up and starts coming toward me when my tears make an appearance again. I put my hands up and walk backward until my back comes in contact with the nearest wall. Alex braces an arm by my head and the other by my hip, trapping me in place like a caged animal. And considering what my face probably looks like right now from all the waterproof mascara that is never really waterproof, it’s not a far stretch.

“That’s not what you said before, so how about I help you remember?” he coolly says. “You asked me if I could imagine what it was like to see the man I love with another woman.”

Dammit. I did say that out loud, didn’t I?

I wipe my eyes and don’t say a word. His eyes search my face until settling back on mine. “You love me.”

“So?”

I know, childish and immature, but I’m grasping at straws here.

“So, when were you going to tell me?”

“How about never?”

“Guess what, it’s half past never because you just did not five f*cking minutes ago.”

I try to dart out from under his arm, but he pulls me back against the wall and presses his body against mine. My hands shoot up and brace themselves against his chest, where I can feel his heart pounding away like a bass drum. His hands cup my face, and before I can think, feel, say, or do anything, his lips devour mine.

At first, my mind is blank and my body is a completely willing participant. It’s a rough, hair-pulling, and clothes-being-tugged kind of kiss, leaving no doubt in my mind that if it keeps up we’ll be f*cking against this wall in about ten seconds.

Then a flood of memories of the last man who broke my heart, Aiden, seeps into my thoughts. And that’s when I realize I need to stop this. I need to put distance between us. I cannot and will not let another man break me, especially when I’m so close to my breaking point already.

I pull his lips off of me and drop my hands, which were gripping his shirt for dear life. “You need to go now, Alex.”

His confused expression matches the tone of his voice. “Why?”

“Because I can’t do this anymore. I’m done … we’re done.”