Pieces of Summer (A stand-alone novel)(71)

I open the flap, glancing over page one that immediately jumps into the night she had emergency surgery.

“Dedication and effort won’t be an issue.”

It’s the f*cking truth. There’s no reason I’d give her up a second time after feeling like I’ve been floating through life for all these years.

They consider it a sacrifice… I consider it to be hope. It’s been a long time since I felt hope.





Chapter 41


MIKA



Guilt. It’s the bane of my existence. And I’m choking on guilt when Aidan walks into my room—on the psych floor. My hands are restrained against the bedrails with the leather cuffs like I’m back in Kravitz’s hell. I’m doing well not to freak out, but the pressure is gone. I can’t believe… I hate myself for letting it get that far.

Overconfidence usually results in epic failure. I was definitely overconfident.

Aidan’s eyes are red and puffy, letting me know he’s been crying. That’s my fault. My brother has suffered enough because of me, and I just put him through this so that I could have a few weeks of the heaven I lost so long ago.

It was worth it to me just to be with Chase again. It’s all I ever dreamed about, and I’d be lying if I said otherwise. But it’s not worth it for Aidan, and I know it. It was selfish. And I was wrong to do this to him.

Tears fill my eyes when he gives me a forced, sad smile and sits down near my bed.

“I’ve talked to them and explained what’s going on. They’ll get these things off you once they speak to Dr. Stein,” he tells me hoarsely, motioning to my cuffs.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling a hot tear roll down my cheek.

Aidan immediately wipes away his own fresh tears and clears his throat several times.

“Dr. Stein is going to fly out here soon. She wants to have a face-to-face with you.” He reaches over and pushes my hair away from my face, and I feel another tear roll from my eye. “They won’t release you from these damn things until she’s evaluated you anyway. Then she’s going to stay with you for a while.”

“She can’t do that. She has other patients.”

“She’s passed them off onto someone else. She wants to devote her attention to you. Don’t worry, you’ll be paying her to compensate.”

He gives me a lopsided smile, but it doesn’t ease the tension surrounding us.

I just nod, unable to form anymore words without the fear of crying. I don’t want to cry in front of him. It’ll only hurt him worse.

“This is just a small setback,” he says with that same forced smile. “You’ll be fine after a while.”

He removes his hand and clasps his fingers together in his lap while staring at me like I’m the most pitiful thing he’s ever seen. I hate that look. I hate what I’ve put him through. Again.

“Do you ever wonder where you’d be if I hadn’t been hurt that night?” I ask him quietly.

He snorts derisively while shaking his head.

“You’re all I have Mika. I’d be wherever you are, regardless of the circumstances. Just you and me.”

“And Hunter,” I remind him, smiling like my heart isn’t breaking.

He nods, laughing lightly. “And Hunter. You two are my only family. Hell, my only friends.”

And that’s my fault too. He won’t ever tell me, but it’s because of me he doesn’t have friends. He’s too focused on me.

“Can you send Hunter in?” I ask him, ignoring the next tear that rolls down my cheek. “And give us a moment?”

He nods. “Yeah. I have some more paperwork to fill out anyway.”

As he leaves, I make a decision I never thought I’d have to. I can’t be selfish anymore. And Aidan refuses to make a decision that isn’t unselfish.

I’m toxic. To him. To Hunter. To everyone.

Just because I’m broken, it doesn’t mean that I have to break everyone else in my path. I’ve been under the illusion that one day I’d be better. That one day they’d be free of my burden.

I wish I was unselfish enough to just end it… End me. But I can’t. I’ve fought too hard to survive to just end it now. That doesn’t mean I can’t do something else to free them though.

Hunter walks in, pausing his steps when he sees me on my back and restrained by the leather cuffs. It’s incredibly vulnerable and pathetic looking, I know. It takes him a second to recover from the sight as he moves to the chair beside me where Aidan was sitting.

“How are you feeling?” he asks me, trying not to stare at the cuffs.

My stomach is on fire, and I can’t take pain medication. But obviously I don’t tell him that.

“Like a rockstar after he or she destroys a hotel room,” I say jokingly. He laughs, but I’m fairly sure it’s a pity laugh.

“Hate to do this, but can I ask you for a favor and complete secrecy?” I ask him.

His humor fades immediately, and he leans forward.

“Always. What do you need?”

“My bank account number is somewhere in my safe at the house. Will you check my balance and see if I have enough to purchase a different house. And will you find me one no farther than fifteen minutes from a town?”