Picking Up the Pieces (Pieces, #2)(92)

But I knew there was no getting around telling him, and delaying it only made my anxiety worse. So I finally decided to come clean as we sat at a local pizza joint sharing a pepperoni pie. I figured he wouldn’t kill me in public. Too many witnesses.

“Amanda’s bachelorette party is in two weeks,” I said shyly, my eyes looking at the slice as I put it to my mouth.

“Yeah, I know. That’ll be fun.”

“It definitely will. I haven’t been to Atlantic City in a long time.” I hadn’t anticipated using that as my segway into coming clean, but once it had tumbled out of my mouth, I decided to go with it.

Adam tensed, clearly remembering the conversation we’d had where I revealed all my indiscretions. That had been one of the most difficult discussions we’d ever had. Until now.

“Well, I hope this trip turns out differently from that one.” He was smiling, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I knew that masked behind his attempt at a joke, he was asking me for reassurance.

Guilt crept through me, causing my face to heat. I wasn’t going to be able to set his mind at ease, and I felt horrible about it.

“Well it will definitely be different, though not as different as you’re probably hoping.”

Adam halted all movement, his slice of pizza hovering inches from his mouth. He stared at me curiously for a moment, before dropping the pizza back to his plate and resting his arms on the table. “What does that mean?”

“Shane invited Max to his bachelor party.”

“You’re joking, right? You really need to tell me you’re f*cking joking, Lily.”

I shook my head, but kept my eyes on his. I needed him to see that I had nothing to hide this time. “I’m sorry, Adam. I didn’t know he was going to ask Max to go. He just did it.”

“And you’re still going to go?” His eyes bore into me with a rage that I hadn’t seen since that day in my classroom almost exactly a year ago.

April is not a good month for us. “I have to go. I’m the maid of honor.”

Adam stood abruptly. “That’s perfect,” he said sardonically. “Have a great time. I . . . need some air. I'll meet you at the car." And with that, he turned and walked out.

I was stunned still for a second before I rose and rushed after him. Good thing we already paid for the pizza. I flung open the restaurant door and silently cursed the jingling of bells that sounded. How dare they sound so happy at a time like this. “Adam,” I called as I ran after him. He was almost to the car and didn’t bother turning around when he heard me. I ran and caught him by the arm just before he opened his car door. “Adam, please.” He allowed me to spin him around and ended up standing mere inches from me. I could feel the anger radiating off of his body, his posture tight and coiled. If I hadn’t known him better, I would’ve been intimidated. Actually, I was still slightly intimidated. “What am I supposed to do?” I choked out. Even though I willed them back, the tears were coming anyway.

“That’s a great question. I’m asking myself the same one. What the hell am I supposed to do? My girlfriend tells me that she’s going to Atlantic City with a guy she had an intimate affair with while she was dating me, and I’m supposed to, what? What, Lily? Tell me. What am I supposed to do?” He was yelling, his voice thick with all of the emotions that were running through him.

I hated knowing that I was the cause of his pain. Again. Looking down at the pavement, I racked my brain for a solution. There was only one. It was the same one I’d contemplated for the past two weeks, and I knew he’d never go for it. But maybe suggesting it would be enough. “You could always come with me.”

He scoffed harshly. “Yeah, that’s a fabulous idea. Everyone can take bets on how long it takes Max and me to end up in jail for trying to kill each other.”

I raised my head so that I could look at him again. “Then I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Adam. This is where you decide whether or not you trust me. Because if we don’t have that, then we aren’t going to last anyway. And I’m not letting Amanda down for a relationship that has no longevity. I’ve done everything I can to assure you that I’m all-in. So now I need to know: is it enough? Am I enough, Adam?”

He slumped back against his car door and turned his head away from me, seemingly trying to mull over my question in his head. When he finally looked at me, his internal battle was evident in his eyes. “It’s not a question of you being enough, Lily.”

“Isn’t it? I’m either what you want or I’m not. The time for hypotheticals is over. There’s no room for could-bes and maybe-one-days anymore. This is the proverbial fork in the road,” I smiled to ease some of the overwhelming tension. This wasn’t a decision I wanted him to make in the heat of the moment. I wanted him to be sure because I didn’t intend to ever have this conversation again.

He ran a hand roughly through his hair and exhaled. “Then I choose the road that leads to you.” His eyes locked on mine and I threw myself at him. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head atop mine. “I love you, Lily. So much that it scares the hell out of me sometimes. You’ve always been what I wanted. I just wish I was the only one who felt that way.”