Picking Up the Pieces (Pieces, #2)(89)

I narrowed my eyes. Why is he being so weird? “You said you were going to text,” I finally said.

“Oh shit, yeah, I got caught up talking to Carl. Sorry.” His eyes were darting around and his hands were in his pockets. To say he looked uncomfortable would have been an understatement.

“Adam, what’s wrong with you?”

His eyes found mine briefly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re acting weird as hell. What is it?”

He sighed heavily and rubbed his hand against the back of his head. “I just . . . look Lily, I’m sorry, I just don’t want this to be awkward for Eva. I can only imagine what these parents and their children would say if they knew about us, and I just . . . I just don’t want to hurt her.”

“So we’re back to this, huh Adam? You're telling me one thing while another thing is the real truth?”

“What do you mean? What did I tell you that was untrue?”

My voice dipped dangerously low to prevent myself from screaming at him. “You said we’d meet here. You acted like it was no big deal to be seen here with me. I get that you have to think of Eva’s feelings, and I don’t fault you for it. But be honest with me. Tell me it makes you uncomfortable, so I can be prepared for it and we can avoid all of this. God, please Adam, just be upfront with me.”

Adam was staring at the floor, his posture rigid. He was clearly fuming, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what he had to be pissed about.

“You’re really gonna stand there and lecture me about being honest?” His voice was crisp and when he finally looked at me, his eyes were penetrating, angry. “Seems a lot of things could have been avoided if you’d been as honest as you expect me to be.”

His words were like a slap in the face. But they didn’t make me sad. They made me f*cking furious. “Is this what it’s always going to come down to, Adam? I’m going to call you out on something and you’re going to go back to that? Your trump card? I guess you win then. Because I know that what you did tonight doesn’t beat what I did to you last year. It’s not even close. But the fact that I can’t tell you what I’m feeling, that what you’re doing hurts me, is basically telling me not to be honest with you.” I felt the anger slipping as the tears rose. Don’t do it, Lily. Please don’t cry in front of him. But my emotions wouldn’t listen. And as the tears started to fall, Adam’s posture slackened.

“Lily, I—”

“Save it, Adam.” I started to walk away, but then spun back toward him. “It can’t be like this. We’ll never work if it’s like this.”

Before I even registered his movement, he had me in his arms and was holding me tightly. “Baby, I’m so sorry. God, I’m so sorry. I love you, Lily. I just don’t know how to be everything: the father Eva needs, and the boyfriend you need. I just wanted to protect you both. I don’t want people to talk about either of you because of me. And then, when you questioned me, I got angry and I’m such a dick for that. Please, Lily, I didn’t mean that shit. I’m sorry that my first reaction was to go there, to hurt you with our past. I won’t do it again. I swear.”

My body instinctively leaned into him, even though my brain scolded me for it. I didn’t want to depend on him. Not right now. But I did. Because he was Adam. My Adam. And even in the worst moments, I knew I’d always be able to count on him. He’d always catch me, even when he was the one who caused me to stumble. It’s why I loved him. Why I needed him. Why I chose him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back, hoping that hugs like these would always be able to hold us together.

“Lily, there you are.”

The voice caused Adam and me to jerk apart. I sniffled and turned my head to see Tina, slightly panicked.

“Tina, what’s wrong?”

Tina clearly registered that she’d interrupted something important, but she couldn’t take it back now. “Uh, sorry, guys. But I lost Trish.”

I whirled around fully. “What do you mean you lost Trish?”

Tina shrugged, raising her hands in front of her and stared at me.

I turned to Adam. “Hey, I gotta go. Trish got a little drunk earlier and we gotta find her before she does something stupid.”

Adam tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I understand.” He lowered his face so that he could look more clearly into my eyes. “Are we okay?”

I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and smiled slightly. “Yeah, baby. We’re okay.”

A relieved smile spread across his face. “Good. I’ll call you later tonight. Maybe we can Skype,” he added with a wink.

“Don’t be a tease, Mr. Carter.”

“I’m not a tease if I intend to follow through, Miss Hamilton.” He gave me another kiss on the cheek and I left with Tina to f*cking find Trish.

***

Tina and I did our best to locate Trish, but the lights had been dimmed some time ago, and it was nearly impossible to see as we stood at the back of the auditorium.

“I don’t know what to do. We’re never going to find her in here,” Tina said.

“Yeah. I mean, how much trouble could she get into at a middle school concert?”

As soon as those words left my mouth and I heard children’s screams and cymbals crashing from backstage, I made a promise to myself that I would never ask a question like that again.