Perfectly Imperfect(94)
“He kept my secret not only because I was asking him to help and shield me, but also because I knew that if anyone felt the same protectiveness I do toward my son, it would be Kane. He would have done that even if my child didn’t share his blood.”
“Oh my God,” I sob, the sound coming out like a low whine.
“You son of a bitch,” Kole seethes.
“Fuck,” Kane bellows and turns his face from mine to narrow his eyes at Mia.
There’s a moment of silence and each thud of my heart feels like it’s slowly breaking.
“Oh, oh! No. Shit. I didn’t mean it like that,” she rushes, and my tear-filled eyes move from Kane’s chest and I look over at her. “The baby isn’t Kane’s.”
“What?” I meekly question, the pain in my chest and stomach almost making me want to pass out.
“The f*ck, Mia!” Kole yells over me.
“It’s Kyle’s. The baby is Kyle’s.” She looks from Kole with a wince before glancing toward me, her eyes brimming with tears. “I’m so sorry, Willow. I never should have asked him to keep it from you, but I selfishly let the knowledge that he was the only one who knew my son was conceived by a man who drunkenly took advantage of my inebriated state make me feel better. A married man who blamed me for the life he helped to create and wanted me to ‘take care of it.’ There are so many lives that will never be the same now, but it was safer for us to let the world assume it was Kane’s than rip open everyone’s lives and have my son, their nephew, be born with a black mark against him. I can never tell you how sorry I am for ever letting it get this far when I should have been strong enough to fight this without involving Kane.”
My fists loosen against his shirt, and for the first time since he walked in the room, I start to pull from his embrace. I know he’s taking my retreat the wrong way because he curses under his breath and his arms let go of my body to cup my face, bringing my attention back to his.
“God, Willow. I’m so sorry. Please, baby, don’t pull away.” He presses his lips to mine and I return the kiss, but I pull back and step back. “I should have told you, and you will never know how much I regret not making sure that this talk happened weeks ago, but I wasn’t keeping it from you to hurt you.”
“No,” I start, and he snaps his mouth shut. Panic blazes brightly as his eyes plead with me not to pull away. “Stop, Kane.” I move from his reach completely and walk over to Mia. A woman who I had always thought was living the perfect life. One I envied from afar and prayed to have just a sliver of her fearless confidence now sits before me looking like the weak, fearful, depressed woman that I had been when I was making those prayers. I know what she feels. Maybe not in the same capacity, but I know what it’s like to live a life full of anxiety just thinking about the future. Not being able to see a single ounce of safety to help ease those feelings.
Until I learned what it was like to truly believe in myself.
But I also know I would have done the same thing in her shoes and reached out to hold on to anything that helped me function.
I recently learned I was the person who could have helped myself all along.
I sit down and reach out to pull her into my arms and we both sit there silently offering the other person something different. I’m sure for her this is her way of building the bridge of forgiveness that I needed to walk across in order to get to the future Kane was promising. I’m thankful for her ability to tell me her story even though I know that wasn’t easy. For her to fearlessly trust I won’t use it against her.
But for me, this embrace is a lot more than just forgiving her, Kane, and the impossible situation that almost ruined us. This is about me trying to show her that no matter how lonely she feels at her bottom, she will never be alone. There is always someone there to help you climb back up to your feet. It’s a lesson that sometimes people never learn. I was lucky enough to have my own savior help me find the strength I needed to see my own worth, so I can only hope I’m able to give a little of that to Mia.
THE HEAVINESS AROUND US CONTINUED when I let my arms fall from Mia. She looked so lost and frightened that I wanted nothing more than to make everything better for her.
I glance around the room, examining Kole’s pained face for a beat before I look over at the man who has held the weight of the world on his shoulders while keeping this secret. And he held the burden of Mia’s pain knowing he could have very well lost his own happiness in the process. It amazes me just how selfless this man is. He was willing—is willing—to put up with the lies and rumors in order to protect his family. And that’s just what this is, his family. Mia might not be a Masters by blood, but I see now that she has always been like a sister to him. Even if this baby wasn’t Kyle’s, I feel confident that Kane would have done the exact thing.
My strong and altruistic man. I had feared the worst, but the reality was so much more heartbreaking than I could have imagined. Not for me, but for Mia. I don’t blame Kane for feeling the need to hold on to his promise, regardless of the fact that his word means so much to him because this was so much bigger than just a pregnant friend.
This secret can ruin so many lives.
And the weight of it has broken the woman held captive in the center of the storm. She may have been a confident woman at one point, but the one breaking down in front of me is at the bottom of her barrel. A place I know all too well is the worst kind of living hell to be trapped in.