Perfectly Imperfect(74)
I burst out laughing. God, I love my friends.
OKAY, SO I WOULD BE lying if I didn’t admit I was a little nervous about walking into the Logan Agency. Kane’s been silent during our ride, but ever supportive with the hand that hasn’t let go of mine since we left my apartment.
Cam’s been quiet as he navigates the insanity that the streets of New York City bring. I didn’t even realize he was still here until Kane called him twenty minutes ago to come pick us up. I should have realized he wouldn’t have gone back to California ahead of Kane. Sometimes, I forget that Kane isn’t a normal man. The time we spend alone makes his need for a bodyguard unnecessary. It’s going to take a lot of getting used to when we’re no longer able to have these long days of solitude.
“It’s likely that when we leave, someone could tip off the media about where to find me,” Kane says, and I look over from my window gazing to meet his eyes. He looks calm, but his eyes are appraising me in a way that makes me think he is still a little worried about how I’ll handle being a potentially trending worldwide topic when our relationship news hits the masses.
I squeeze his hand, offering him, without words, a sign that I’m okay. Resting my head on the headrest, I think back to last night after Kirby and Eddie left. We talked a lot about Eddie’s concerns, and I hadn’t realized he was still nervous about it.
Kane’s public image and the fact, like it or not because we haven’t stepped out and announced our relationship, he’s still linked to Mia. I understand where Eddie was coming from in asking, but I also see where Kane’s justified in his hesitancy to go public. He’s been burned in the past when he thought his relationship was ready to weather the media storm, and it wasn’t. Given how afraid I was of my own shadow when we first met, I can see his protective nature wanting to shield me from the unknowns that come with his celebrity status and the media.
Most importantly, he explained that because of our schedule in Georgia, there just wasn’t the opportunity for a big coming out of sorts, so even when I was ready, the opportunity just didn’t present itself. Not to mention, because of the small town that we were filming in, Kane enjoyed the anonymity that he normally would never have if we were in California or heck, even here in New York. I keep waiting to turn around and have a million cameras in our faces.
“I know it’s a possibility, Kane, and I’m not concerned. You shouldn’t be either. Unless you don’t want to have our relationship out there yet,” I whisper remembering his promise to try to avoid the media better. “You can’t just expect yourself to be okay with letting them invade your personal life overnight. Or openly let them into our relationship when you’re used to not letting them know anything. You’ve had years of dealing with them picking apart everything you do, so I understand you like to keep your life as tight-lipped as possible.”
He shakes his head. “It isn’t that, baby. I just know how they can be, and I don’t want you to have to deal with the negativity that will follow. I wish I could say it wouldn’t, but I know better. The media loves to create drama where there shouldn’t be any.”
How can I make him understand I’m really okay with it? Sure, I don’t think it will be easy, but I also know I have no fear of the things they could possibly say about me. Not anymore.
“If this was when we first met, I would have run for the hills,” I say and rush to continue when he gets pale. “But it’s been almost two months since then, and I can honestly say I have no doubt that I’m ready. I’m not worried about what they’re going to say about me. Or about us. You made me realize I don’t need to be afraid, so can you please trust me this time when I tell you it’s going to be okay?”
He nods but doesn’t look convinced. Sure, he has a lot more experience with the media than I do—which is none—but how bad could it possibly be?
“We’ll deal with it when it happens, okay?”
His hand squeezes mine, and he nods, looking away and through the window when we slow.
“You ready for this?” he asks, and I follow his eyes to the building that houses the Logan Agency offices.
I study the entrance and wait for my nerves or fear to hit me, but they don’t. The only thing I feel is a lightness I never knew was possible. Fearless. I feel fearless. And I know, given the fact that Kane had no issues telling—and showing—me this morning, that I even look as powerful as I feel right now.
His hand releases mine, and I hear him open his door. I grab my compact from my purse and check my appearance before he gets to my side of the SUV. My blemish-free complexion no longer looks ghastly. Instead, it has a glow about it—still pale, but the rosiness in my cheeks gives me some color. My makeup is minimal, just some mascara and dusty pink lip gloss, understated and not overdone. I no longer hide behind a makeup-free face; instead, I accent the things I’ve started to love.
My eyes sweep down and over my features, and I smile when I don’t feel the need to point out everything wrong because I see the positive in myself. The most prominent change I see is in my eyes. You can’t miss the happiness that sparkles in them.
The door opens, and I tuck away my compact and take Kane’s offered hand, my eyes appraising his body before I fold out of the backseat. He looks like he stepped off the pages of GQ’s Winter Casual edition. Dark denim jeans, blue long sleeve Henley top tucked in at his trim hips, and brown boots.