Perfectly Imperfect(69)
“What time are Kirby and Eddie coming?” Kane asks, his voice interrupting my mental checklist for his upcoming appearances and interviews. He pulls my back to his front, wrapping his arms around my body, and drops a kiss on my shoulder.
Just like that, everything that had been on my mind just seconds before drops from my thoughts and concerns. My mind only cares about Kane. Clearly, this is something I need to work on. I don’t need to start slipping on the job because my infatuation with him consumes me.
My arms come up and I fold them over the corded muscles in his arms, just below my chest. “I think we have about an hour? I wasn’t really sure when I talked to Eddie. He kept going on and on about someone he met in London, so it was hard to follow the conversation.”
Kane chuckles. “He sounds like an interesting man. I’m looking forward to finally meeting him.”
“You say that now.” I snort with a laugh. “You have no idea what you’re in for.”
I swat his hands away when he tries to fondle my breasts, and when I turn to face him, I burst out with the hilarity of his pouting when I see his face. “Keep your hands to yourself, Mr. Masters. I’m sore, and my friends will be here soon. I need to get ready, and you need to prepare yourself for everything that comes with a girls’ night with those two.”
“I’m thinking, my love, that we need a new title for this night of shenanigans.”
I smile and ignore him, walking into my living room. The mess I had left earlier when I got in the shower is completely gone. The boxes that the movers will come for tomorrow are neatly lined up behind the kitchen table, and everything else looks like my normal, tidy home, just void of all personal touches.
“I needed something to do to keep from barging into your bathroom. I figured I might as well get the packing finished so we have tomorrow free to do whatever you want before we fly out.”
At the mention of tomorrow, my last day here, I remember I needed to talk to him about something that I’ve been thinking about a lot over the last couple of weeks. “Hey, can I run something by you?”
“Of course,” he responds and takes a seat on my couch, reaching out and pulling me down into his lap.
“There’s something I need to do tomorrow, and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it. Well, not it, but what I need from you.”
His brows furrow and a look of adorable confusion takes over his expression.
“Hear me out, okay?” I wait for his nod, the confusion taking on a hint of apprehension. I reach out and rub my finger over the tense pull of skin between his thick brows and smile when he relaxes. “I need to go to the Logan Agency.”
“Fuck, no,” he rushes out in a burst of anger. He looks as far from confused as he could get now.
Fury takes over him, and I rush to explain. “Stop, Kane. Please. I really need you to be able to put everything you’re feeling aside and listen to me when I explain why I need to do this so badly.”
He drops his head, his chin hitting his chest and I can just barely hear him softly counting. His breathing slows down slightly before looks up and gives me a brisk nod.
“I’m not sure I know the best way to explain this to you. I’m going to try the best I can, but I honestly don’t know if I can put into words how important this step is for me.” I shift my body so I can see him easier and rest my hands on his chest. His heart is rapidly hitting my palm and his breathing quickens slightly. Seeing how affected he is at just the thought of me going to see my stepfather and Ivy fills my heart. I’ve never doubted the enormity of his feelings toward me since we became official, but visibly seeing the strength of that love fills me with the confidence I need to take this last step. The final transformation into the woman I’ve struggled to become for too many years coming to fruition in these few moments of pounding hearts and the mingled breaths that rush together in a rapid dance between our bodies.
“The day I left Logan was one of the hardest moments I had ever experienced. Aside from losing my mom, that is. I had been floundering through a life I hated for years, until my marriage ended and I started to try to change. I went about it as unhealthy as it gets. The quest to feel worthy of myself wasn’t one I realized I was on until, through your love, I was able to really see. I starved myself in every way I could. Physically, to try to fit a mold I can now happily say I will never fit. But also mentally. I let myself put up with the verbal lashings that whipped me into a fearful life with my marriage. And I let it happen with Dominic and Ivy. I put myself through that because I was, I think, trying to prove that someone was what I needed to love myself. I so desperately wanted their love and attention that I let a man I had always thought of as my father verbally slap me over and over.”
“Baby,” he whispers, and I give him a smile. Not one of sadness, but one of understanding.
“It’s okay, Kane. I’ve come to terms with all of that and accepted that it was a very painful lesson I can let either drown me or gain strength from it. I choose the strength. But in order for me move on and be able to be the woman I know I’m worthy of becoming, I have to let it go. I have to show them, you, and me that no matter how hard they tried, I win. But, most importantly, I need this closure in order to finally let it all go to be that woman.”
He sighs and brings me closer as his arms come up and tighten around me. Shifting in order not to twist my body in a painful way, I return his embrace. He guides my head to his shoulder as I take a deep breath to inhale his scent.