Perfectly Imperfect(62)
“You said you trusted me, Willow. I don’t just mean with your body, I meant with all of you. I want you … this, us. But our relationship will never be normal. We went at the speed of light because honestly, that is just how things are done in my life.”
Her eyes continue to gaze into mine, the love I’ve felt coming from her in the last few days not even masked in the least. “And, to the public, will I be your employee or more?”
God, I want to kiss her. Just by her asking me that is a testament to how far she’s come in the last few weeks. Going from being scared of me, her feelings, and whether she could open herself enough to give herself to me to the stunning woman standing up and asking for what she desires. She shows me daily that she’s beyond brave. Overcoming the issues she had with herself was a huge hurdle. Everything else has just fallen into place since. She hasn’t held back, not once all month, until today. And I know that with the enormity of what I’m asking of her, I should have expected it. I pull her closer; my lips brush against hers and then wrap my arms around her tight and reassuring. I allow the silence in order to make sure I can word my response in a way that leaves her no more f*cking doubts about us.
I’m asking her to leave the life she had been living. One where years of verbal abuse had made her afraid to really live because of the fear she had of others’ judgment. She let that fear rule her completely. Their judgment had made her hate herself. I know she started to heal a year ago when her husband cheated and she left, but that healing didn’t compound into completion until she started to let go of those fears, insecurities, and doubts. She was almost there before I came into the picture, but she crossed the finish line with me at her side. I know that. But I know my mention of not only a job, but also a future together is why some of that is trying to rear its ugly head.
And now, now I’m asking her to take a chance on a life that will thrust her into the public eye. Into a life full of nothing but the kind judgment that beat her down in the past. I’m asking her not to just be with me, but to face her fears head-on.
“I’m asking you to be mine. I’m too old for titles and shit, but if you need them, baby, then that’s what you’ll get. If you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, having that title to our relationship so you understand that what I’m building here is a future and not a fling, then it’s yours. But, bottom line, I’m asking you to be mine and not to end what we’re starting. I’m going to ask you to be strong, but if you can’t or need help along the way, know I will never be far. I will not hide someone I care about from the world. I would notify the media right now if that’s what it took for you to see I don’t just want you as my employee, but my lover as well, but I want you to feel comfortable with our relationship before we let in the vultures.”
Her silence is unnerving. I keep studying her face, trying to find a clue in her expression. My chest feels tight, my throat thick, while I wait.
“Lover?” Her lips tip, her smile widening until her eyes crinkle. She gives me a nod, and I watch her eyes water. “That’s the second time you’ve hinted that word.”
“It is.”
“You said ‘my love’ earlier.” Her already full smile gets a little bigger. “Kane?”
I let my face show her what I’m feeling right now; I open myself and make sure she not only sees, but also hears. “I f*cking love you, Willow Tate. Come to California. Be mine for the world to see.”
The satisfaction in her enchanting smile is so powerful that I swallow thickly at the emotion clawing its way up my throat. “I love you, too, Kane. God, do I.”
Fuck, she’s beautiful and all mine. Everything else will just have to fall into place because I’m not ever letting this woman go.
IT TOOK US ANOTHER WEEK to finish filming in Georgia. The weather had turned cold and dreary. Unfortunately for Kane’s filming schedule and all that time I had managed to save him, the bad weather put us way beyond saving the budget. We had to film all of the outdoor scenes during that unlucky time, and because of the scenes calling for bright and sunny weather, we had to improvise. Which put us five days over schedule.
Kirby had flown home six times in the time we were in Georgia. Forty plus days away from her family was too much for her, and I’m shocked that she only went home six times. Kane’s been so understanding and even helpful in making sure she was able to get away—hence the reason he brought in the extra help for her a week into filming. The second we wrapped last night; she hightailed it off the set and caught the redeye home. She has a four-day break to spend with her family before she’s needed in California, so I know she was eager not to waste a second of that time.
There are another three weeks to a month left of filming Impenetrable and I’ve been busy studying each and every call sheet I drew up for that timeframe, but also looking for ways we can turn a few filming locations into longer takes to cover more ground. I’m attempting to find a way to consolidate some of that time to make up for the budget slips in Georgia. So far, I’ve only been able to take a few days off here and there, but I haven’t been able to find a way to make up for all of the overages.
The last few days of filming before I flew back to New York were a whirlwind. I took over Sam’s position officially two days ago. After I agreed to the position, it only took a few days to get the contract signed. Even though it’s a little intimidating, I’m confident I know what I’m doing. I initially worried about the working relationship with Kane bleeding into our personal one, making up excuses that my fears had planted in my mind to pull back, but I know now it’s because of our relationship that I’m positive he meant every word about me being the only person he trusts.