Perfectly Imperfect(61)
“You’re serious about the job?”
“Fuck yes, I am!”
She sighs and drops her head to my chest.
“Think about it, Willow, and you will see exactly what I’m saying and why I know you would be the best PA I’ve ever had. Not just because you’re beyond capable of it, but also because I know you care about me. And trust me, that’s important. You haven’t been getting paid for nothing. You’ve been working your ass off. Twelve to fifteen hours a day while you make sure everything not nailed down got another slam from your efficient hammer. One mention from me in passing about our delayed schedule—time I couldn’t afford to add to an already stretched budget—and you managed to find the solution. You not only took two days off production time, but in doing so, you saved me a couple million I had already been prepared to sink into this film. Now, we’re finishing ahead of schedule and under budget. Things are running so smoothly, I don’t know how I managed without you.”
She starts shaking her head against my chest. I wrap my arms around her; I pull her toward me and give her no choice but to return my embrace.
“Willow, baby, look at me.” I wait until she gives me her eyes—those always-expressive eyes—to show me that regardless of what she’s saying, she scared. “I know I wasn’t completely honest about why I brought you with Kirby. I won’t apologize for that because, in the end, you came and I was able to confirm what my mind already knew. You belong with me. The fact that Sam’s mother got sick and pulled him away, resulting in his resignation, was just more confirmation that I was on the right path. I have no hidden agenda here. I wanted to wait for Impenetrable to wrap so you could finish with the stride in which you’ve flourished, but now that you actually doubt things, I can’t allow that.”
“Kane, I know nothing about being your PA. My degree didn’t set me up to be a mega hunk movie star’s employee.”
“Mega hunk movie star?” I smile. “Baby, you know everything about it. You know me better than anyone does, and for the last few weeks, you’ve seemed to understand more about my world than people who have lived it their whole lives. Think back, and I mean really think about everything we’ve gone through on the set. Everything that almost slipped and spilled into a massive pile of shit until you caught it and fixed everything.”
She continues to look into my eyes, and I relax the tension from my body and open myself up so she can see my sincerity.
“Outside of that, Willow, the time we’ve spent learning each other’s bodies, what makes the other person tick, the late-night chats while I feel your body naked against mine … none of that was fake, and it damn sure doesn’t deserve you trying to cheapen it by calling yourself a whore.”
“Kane, honestly, I feel like I’m struggling right now. Where do we go from here? It just seems so big to pack up my whole life and move to California, and I don’t want to have any doubts about why. I’m sorry for acting like a brat, but I’m not sorry I got that off my chest. I feel like, had I not, it would have become a bigger issue down the road.”
“What’s really bothering you, Willow?” Surely, this is bigger than I can see. I don’t think she would have made such a big deal, grasping at straws, if there wasn’t a bigger concern—doubt—on her mind. “Is it me, us, that you’re questioning?”
She shakes her head. “No. Maybe. Heck, I don’t know. I feel silly now.” She looks away and worries her lip between her teeth. “Aside from the job, which I’m not sure I feel qualified for, I’ll admit I’ve had so much fun stepping up and helping make sure you’re taken care of, easing your stress. I know there isn’t anything left in New York but Kirby and her family, and even she will be back and forth with her career starting with you. Eddie isn’t there anymore with his travel and clients keeping him constantly jetting all over the globe. So I guess, deep down, I’m freaking out because I have no idea where we’re going from here. Am I about to move across the country just for a job, or more?”
“So it is us that you’re questioning. Have I not made it clear about where this is going?”
She looks up at me, and I can see that apparently, I have not.
“Baby, I’m too old to play games. I’ve spent thirty-five years looking for something I’ve felt was missing. Three times, I felt I had found it when I looked into the timid eyes of a beautiful woman I knew nothing about. That was enough for me to do what I needed to take a chance, and in order to do that, I had to be underhanded. But now we’ve had a chance to explore it, and I now look at those three times in the past as a missed opportunity. Because I know you are the something I’ve been missing.” I reach up and swipe at the moisture that spills over her lid. “A month later and because my life makes dating challenging, we’ve spent more time together than normal couples just getting to know each other. That might seem early for the vast majority, but to me, it feels like I’ve known you for years. I wouldn’t be weaving you tightly into my life if it wasn’t where I wanted to have you for a long time coming.”
She nods her head, and her arms wrap around me, embracing me before speaking. “I don’t doubt you when it comes to us, but I guess I needed to hear it. When you look at it in time, it does seem quick, so it is a little daunting. I guess I was falling back on some old habits of doubt.”