Perfectly Imperfect(44)
The way he spoke of Kole, it was obvious they’re close. Even with them both busy with demanding careers, they have a bond that is clear with the fondness in which he speaks of him.
It wasn’t until his comments about Kyle, the oldest Masters brother, that a different picture was painted. The fondness was gone, and in its place was a bitterness he visibly struggled with in order to say something positive about him. I don’t press him about it. When he’s ready, it’s something he can tell me.
I tell him about my mom, the accident, and what it was like to lose her. He nods and offers his support while I talk about one of the hardest times in my life. Listening to him talk and open up about his life gave me the confidence I needed to strip away the lingering fear and let him in. I opened up about my marriage more, and by the end, he knew everything there was to know about my past.
“What about Mia?” I ask as we’re collecting the trash and cleaning up his trailer before he takes me back to the house.
He hesitates slightly but then quickly masks his features.
“Kane?”
Hesitation is a dangerous thing. It hints that something is hiding when you take that pause.
Trust him, Willow.
“Mia’s been my best friend since we were maybe fifteen. She’s the sister I never had and I would do just about anything for her.”
Well. Okay.
“Yeah?”
He stops his task. The cooler drops from his grasp and hits the table harshly. The calm I’m so used to seeing in Kane is nowhere to be found. My mind starts to doubt everything I’ve felt, but as quickly as the thought pops into my head, I beat it down. No. I’m not going to allow my mind to overcome what has been such a powerful night between us. I’m not going to let myself ruin this before it even starts.
“This is when I’m going to ask you to trust me with that blind faith, Willow. Trust me when I tell you that Mia is just a friend and leave it at that.”
His eyes scorch their pleading gaze into mine. Searching and begging me with the force of his stare. Beseeching without words to believe in him and the fragile relationship we’ve started to build.
“Okay, Kane.”
His shoulders drop, and I realize just how tightly he had been holding his body while he waited for my assurance. While he waited for me to give him my trust completely knowing how much that gesture of blind faith means to me. If I hadn’t witnessed him sag with relief, I might have doubts. The fact I would allow him to keep something obviously troublesome enough that he is visibly struggling with the enormity of it is an immense relief to him. But this man is holding something back, and I have a feeling he wishes he could tell me.
“I promise, Willow, I promise I will tell you everything, but right now … right now, I can’t. Too many people’s lives are going to be affected, and I gave my word. My word, you’ll find, means everything to me. I’m giving it to you and with that promise, know that I care too much about you already that keeping anything from you isn’t something I’m doing lightly.”
I walk over to him. I wrap my arms around his torso and press my cheek into his chest. His heart beats frantically under my ear as his strong arms come around me. It isn’t lost on me that when I would normally tuck my tail and run as fast as I could away from him and the uncertainty of his words, that instead … instead, I run to him. For the first time since this dreamlike reality started to be my life … I’m the one who initiated things and it was me giving him the strength this time.
I DON’T WANT TO LET her go.
The intensity of my feelings has grown to insurmountable levels.
And after tonight’s talk … shit.
I look over at her, sitting quietly in the passenger seat; I smile to myself before looking down at our joined hands. For the second time tonight, she was the one who reached out and connected our bodies. She didn’t even flinch, as if just being apart from each other for one second is unbearable.
I’m beyond thrilled I was able to talk Cam into heading out without me earlier. I know he hates it. If anyone takes his job more seriously than I do, it’s Cam. I’m still not sure what it was that finally convinced him to leave the set without me, but thank f*ck he did. I wasn’t ready to share Willow with anyone else right now. Just the thought of leaving her at the house tonight has my skin feeling as if it’s a size too small.
I flex my hand before circling my thumb against her silky skin.
I can’t even explain it to myself, and truth be told, I don’t need to know why I feel so strongly about someone I really just met. I just know without a shadow of doubt that this—right here at this moment—is where I’m meant to be.
This feeling of bone-deep contentment, the connection to someone that feels physical even without a tangible touch, that is what I’ve been missing. What I’ve been looking for. Every second I’m around her, that feeling only grows, and if it continues to flourish like this, then I know everything I’ve been hoping I could have for my future could finally be mine.
She … f*ck … she will be mine. I can’t even entertain the thought I won’t feel like this every day.
“You’re looking awfully serious over there.”
I take my eyes off the road and look over at her when her voice fills the comfortable silence around us. My hand flexes against our connection, reassuring me that she’s here … with me.