Perfectly Imperfect(43)
“You looked at me, and when you forgot what was happening around you, that is when I got a glimpse of the strong woman you are. You forgot to be scared. You forgot you were hurting. You didn’t know it then, and hell, you might not realize it now because it took me a while to place it, but when we touched … your body recognized the bond we share.”
“Maybe I was just star struck?”
“No, Willow … I live that daily, women who are enamored by my celebrity status don’t come to life with one touch. They act like savage animals, but you, Willow, you tried to get away from me even though I know damn well you felt the same pull I did.”
“Kane,” I start but again can’t find the right words. It’s as if they’re all just floating around in my head, unable to form a coherent thought.
“Honesty, Willow. With me and with yourself.”
“How can you possibly say you were attracted to someone like me?”
His eyes flash. The crystal blue darkening and his full lips thin. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Talk down your beauty.”
I laugh, the sound coming out shrill and almost animalistic. “You have no idea what my life was like leading up to this moment. When I saw you the first time, I couldn’t see one appealing thing about myself. It’s been a momentous struggle to get to the point I am at now, and I still struggle. But I also know the type of woman you have been linked to in the past, Kane, and they are nothing like me.”
He sighs deeply, looking away, and his jaw ticks as he measures his response.
“Even now, after working as hard as I could, I still don’t see it.”
“Then I guess I’ll just have to show you.”
My eyes widen wondering what he’s going to do next.
“Christ, Willow, I’m not going to attack you.”
“I think it’s safe to say that even though I’m here, ready to take the steps toward something unknown, I’m still scared. I hate that I am, I do, but I don’t know how to flip that switch and turn it off.”
He had just lifted his wine glass to his lips when I started speaking. His eyes don’t leave mine as he takes a sip. Lowering the glass, he sets it on the table and takes one of my hands in his. The warmth of his skin against mine seeps into my chilled fingers, and a feeling of peace settles inside me when just seconds before my senses were fighting in overdrive.
Shifting, he moves so his face is closer, his breath dancing on my face, as he takes deep, calm, and measured breaths. “Trust me,” he whispers. “Trust what you feel when you’re around me. I meant what I told you yesterday, Willow. I just want a chance. A chance to prove what I feel is something genuine. Give me a chance to show you why I’m so bewitched. So I’m asking you, are you ready to let go and trust my lead?”
“What do you want from me?”
“I just want you.”
My grip tightens around his hold.
“Willow,” he says tenderly. “Talk to me.”
Pulling my body away slightly, I lean back against the couch again and close my eyes. “You have no idea what you’re asking of me.”
“Then tell me.”
I take a lungful of air until I feel the burn in my chest, letting it out slowly. “After my mother’s death, I floundered through depression until I became someone I didn’t even recognize anymore. I lived through a verbally abusive marriage for four long years because I thought that was all I was worth. I was weak, Kane. Heck, I wasn’t just weak—I was living and breathing, but felt no life. I put up with so much—from Brad, my ex, my own family—and I let it define who I was. Since the end of my marriage, I’ve worked so hard to become stronger, to believe my own worth, but it’s moments like this when I have a hard time believing that I shouldn’t run. I don’t even know if I can be who you want me to be. I feel it, everything that you said, but I’m so scared, Kane. Scared of what you make me feel, but I’m scared to trust that hope you seem to believe in so strongly.”
He leans forward and places his glass on the table. I follow his movements so I was a second behind him when he shifted again and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his embrace. My back settles against his hard chest and my head rests against his shoulder. I’m stiff for just a second before I allow myself to relax. He notices instantly when I open myself up to his touch. His head drops, and his forehead lands softly on my shoulder. His arms, wrapped tightly around me, leave his hands gripping my biceps lightly before I feel his thumbs rubbing soothing circles.
“I want you.” He breathes against my skin, turning his head so his lips move against the skin on my neck. “God, Willow, do I want you. You’re stronger than you realize, but until you see what I see, just lean on me and let me be strong enough for both of us.”
I don’t allow myself to overthink. It’s time to believe in hope. It’s time for me to believe I’m worth something. It’s time to give myself to someone blindly and trust.
“Okay.” I sigh, and the second that one word leaves my lips, I feel his relief seep into my skin. I actually believe at that moment this remarkable man means every word he’s promising.
AFTER THE HEAVINESS OF OUR chat, we stuck to safer topics. Kane told me about his childhood and his parents, whom he clearly respected deeply. Their relationship had always been something he wanted for himself, but because of his career, he had never been able to find someone who sincerely wanted him for him. He had all but given up on that dream. I could tell he wanted to say more, but he changed the subject to his brothers.