Paradise Found: Cain (Paradise #2)(87)

Then that little spitfire Elma brought me back to reality. Her words haunted me. Following after the security guard, who gave a good fight to get me out of the emergency room, she turned on me instantly outside the growing audience in the waiting room.

“You ungrateful f*cking *,” she snapped with a touch of that Southern drawl in her. She flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder like she was ready to raise her delicate hands to me and attempt to beat the ever-loving-shit out of me, if she could.

“He loves you no matter what you say or do,” she began. “He’s taken your bullshit, as you’ve taken your share, too. But don’t you dare, dare, take your helplessness in this moment out on him.”

I was ready to argue when she continued.

“And that girl? She stood there and took that crap, too. After all the searching and whining you did to find her, you shooed her off like a fleck of dirt. You’ll be damn lucky to find her in your home when you return. Don’t throw away what you have, because deep down inside, you’re scared out of your f*cking mind,” she stammered.

“He was touching her,” I growled.

“So what? Abel loves me. I’m confident of that. You could have been touching her, instead of cowering away from her.”

“I wasn’t…”

“You’ve never been a coward. Don’t start now.”

I was prepared to state my case with a giant, “Go to f*cking hell”, but she stalked off from me, leaving me slapped with her words.

I wasn’t being a coward.

I was being realistic. I couldn’t let Sofie touch me. She was soft. She would comfort, and I would fall apart. I needed to stay strong. I needed to fix this for Kursch.

A hand rested on the back of my head and I shot upright from my thoughts. We were alone for the moment, as Ava went to get coffee some time ago.

“Hey,” Kursch muttered with a groggy voice.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Kursch’s hand fell back to the bed with the movement of my head.

“Like someone clenched my heart, then stomped on it,” he said weakly, his eyes closing as he spoke.

“You should rest. The doctors say you’re going to need lots of rest.”

He nodded and paused a beat.

“That was a lot of shit at once,” he sighed. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m good.”

He was silent another moment, the weight of my lie pressing down on my own chest.

“You look like hell. What’s that smell?”

Sniffing myself, I remembered I hadn’t showered since the day before when Abel and I were about to fight. It had been almost a full day.

“Where’s Sofie?” he added.

“Oh, she went home.” I lied, uncertain of any truth about Sofie.

Kursch’s eyes opened fully at that response. He rolled his head to look at me.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing,” I replied, guiltily. His eyes narrowed at me.

“If you lose her this time, it’s your own damn fault.”

I wasn’t going to lose her, I told myself, but my heart pinched.

“I lost the woman of my dreams once. She didn’t give me a second chance,” his voice strained. “You have one. You better not blow it. There’s no round three in the ring of life.”

While my typical response, when he spoke his philosophy, was to tell him to shut up, this time I let him have his say.

“I’m not going to lose her,” I snapped.

“Are you certain? I know your temper and your temperament. If it doesn’t go your way, there is no way,” Kursch chuckled, then winced in pain.

“You need to stop philosophizing. It’s hurting your heart, old man,” I admonished but smiled.

“I just want you to be happy. That’s what hurts my heart. You’re a good man, and you don’t see it,” he said, his voice fading off into sleep. I didn’t believe him, but his words reminded me of Sofie’s the other night, telling me that I loved people and took care of them. The core of her words rang true. Never one to openly admit my feelings, the truth was I did care. I protected Abel because I wasn’t only his keeper; I loved him. He was my brother. I would do anything for him. I had done anything. I fought so he could live a life without it. The irony was he needed to fight his own battles.




Abel arrived shortly after that and demanded I go home, first and foremost for a shower. He didn’t mention what I said to him, nor did he say anything about how I reacted to his touching Sofie. As I left the room, I simply nodded at him, in way of apology. I’d never said I was sorry, and in the moment, we had reverted back to when we were young. My nod was acknowledgement; his silent response was acceptance. He was always going to be the second son, and always come after me, but that did not make him the lesser one. He wasn’t afraid to take Kursch’s hand in his, and hold onto it, while he stared at a man who had been our second father. Abel found strength in his emotions. Unwilling to admit mine, Elma was right. I was a coward.

I’d learned that my father had been arrested after Malik and Ray put up their own fight with my father’s henchmen. The police were called by Elma, and Malik held my father hostage until he was arrested for the attempted murder of Kursch. My fear was Kursch would drop the charges. Their history dictated a kind of back and forth, covering for each other’s sins. I couldn’t be involved. I’d press my own charges for Sofie’s sake regarding her parents, if necessary. I wanted nothing more to do with his judgmental, oppressive ways. Papers for dissolution of the contract I held with him were already drawn. Minus months from turning twenty-five, I didn’t plan to wait another day. The fight was over for me. Sofie was the only fight that remained.