Overtime(123)

He shook his head, his grin gone, a sullen look on his face. “I’m sorry. No.”

She nodded again, wiping her face. “Okay, so we’ll stay positive.”

Patting her knee, he smiled. “Exactly. See you in four weeks. Call if you have any questions.”

She hadn’t realized she said bye until the door shut and Lacey came to her side. “It’s gonna be great, no worries,” she said, smiling at Kacey extra hard. But not even Kacey could be that optimistic.

“Yeah. I hope.”

“So I saw all these supercute ideas for telling a spouse you are pregnant. We should so do one of them for Jordie. He’d love that. Are you gonna wait to tell the family until you reach the second trimester? Just in case, not saying that you should, but just in case. But I doubt you’ll have to worry about it,” she said, waving her off as she handed her her jeans.

Kacey’s heart started pounding, her chest seizing up and everything began to spin. The thought of telling everyone and them getting excited, only for her to lose it, was a heart-shattering thought. Her mother would cry for days, not only because it would be a sad situation of what-ifs but because she knew how much Kacey wanted a family. Her dad would act weird around her and act as if he couldn’t pick on her, which was very unacceptable. She’d want everyone to act the same, but she knew they wouldn’t. Not even Lacey and Karson. They wouldn’t know how to handle it. That was the light at the end of the tunnel from her first miscarriage. No one knew. Only she did, and while it wasn’t okay and she’d wanted Jordie to be there for her, she was glad that no one had had to share her pain.

And she knew she had to do it that way again.

“I’m not telling anyone,” she said, her jeans loose in her hands, her thong laying on top of them. “You can’t say anything,” she demanded, and Lacey nodded quickly.

“Not a soul.”

“Not even Mena.”

She made a face. “That’s not fair. She can’t talk.”

“I know that, but everyone is always at your house. I don’t need anyone overhearing you.”

She shrugged, and Kacey could tell she didn’t like it, but she’d do it. “Fine, put your jeans on and let me show you these things on Pinterest. I’m sure Jordie will get a kick out of it. Oh! You should go order his favorite cupcakes and have Audrey spell out on them, ‘You’re gonna be a daddy!’ He’d totally eat that up. Literally.”

But Kacey shook her head. “I’m not gonna tell him.”

Lacey’s head whipped back to her, and Kacey was surprised she didn’t give herself whiplash. “What?!” she shrieked. “Are you insane?”

“No, listen,” she said, holding her hands out. “We are already worried he can’t handle it—”

“But Kacey, if he found out you hid it from him and then lost the baby, he’d lose it. That alone would have him looking for the bottle because you didn’t include him in something life-altering. You can’t do that,” she stressed, her head shaking and her eyes wide. “Seriously. You can’t. You have to tell him. I get not telling the family, but you have to tell Jordie.”

“But what if I lose it?”

She shrugged. “I guess it’s the true test of your relationship, huh? His sobriety and everything. Yeah, it’s a lot, and I agree that maybe you should have made sure you had an IUD in or, hell, used some condoms, but there is no changing that now. You’re in it to win it, and soon he will be too.”

Kacey’s tears came faster down her face as she slowly shook her head. “I don’t want to hurt him by not telling him, but I also don’t want him to have the anxiety I have.”

But Lacey shook her head. “You have to tell him, Kacey. Seriously.”

She bit the inside of her cheek and didn’t say anything else as she got dressed. She walked in silence to make her next appointment and still said nothing when Lacey talked her into getting her feet done. As the lady painted her toes and massaged her feet, Kacey sat there, hating that she couldn’t tell the future. She wanted to know what would happen. If she’d keep the baby and if they’d be happy. She wanted the reassurance, but life never gave it. It was a constantly changing traffic light, and you never knew what you were gonna get when you came up on it. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was all right, and sometimes it was downright bad.

Placing her hand on her stomach, she looked down as her eyes welled up with tears. She wanted to be excited, happy, but the thought of what losing this baby would mean was too great, and soon the tears were rolling down her cheeks again. So much was going on. Jordie was finally on the ice, enjoying it. His sobriety was going great and he was doing well. But his mother’s visit loomed over them and she wasn’t sure what would happen. That woman had the power to knock him back a hundred odd days, and he’d be right back where he was.

And so would she.

Loving a man who couldn’t be the man she wanted.

But this time she’d be stuck, because there was no way Jordie wouldn’t be there for his child and she knew she wouldn’t leave him. She’d stay, trying to fix him and raise their child, all while being so f*cking unhappy that her life wouldn’t matter.

No. That wouldn’t happen.

Taking Kacey’s hand in hers, Lacey squeezed it, demanding her attention. As she met Kacey’s brown-eyed gaze, Lacey smiled. “Don’t cry, it’s gonna be great.”