One To Watch(45)

The sound of 1940s swing music floated toward them from the back of the pavilion, and they wandered toward it to discover the source. It turned out to be a life-size sculpture of a 1938 Dodge Coupe, placed on a plot of fake grass strewn with empty beer bottles. The door was open to reveal two figures in the backseat—a woman lying back with one knee propped up, and a man on top of her fabricated in chicken wire, completely transparent except for his left hand, opaque and white, prone between her thighs. The music was part of the exhibit, the soundtrack of the couple’s lovemaking.

Bea read from the description mounted near the sculpture. “They exhibited this in the 1960s, and the County Board of Supervisors tried to make them remove it. They called it pornography. But the museum refused—so they had to keep the car door closed if children were present.”

Asher smiled at her. “Pretty sexy stuff.”

“Did you just say ‘sexy’ to me?”

He laughed and extended his arm. “Do you want to dance?”

“Are you serious?”

He nodded, and Bea let him pull her in, his hand on the small of her back, his Old Spice scent near enough to inhale. He was a remarkably good dancer—strong frame, sure step—and his hands felt amazing sliding over the smooth silk of her blouse.

“How can you dance like this?” She gazed at him with wonder.

“I was raised going to temple because my dad is Jewish, but my mom is Chinese—she’d never been to a bar mitzvah. When I started getting invitations, she was sure all the other kids would know how to dance and I’d look like an idiot. So she made me take ballroom lessons at the senior center.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. I was the twelve-year-old Fred Astaire of Tarrytown, and I spent my Tuesday afternoons dancing with old ladies. Between that and the pottery, I was a pretty popular kid.”

They laughed, and Bea felt him bring her a little closer. Her breath got quicker, and he gently squeezed her waist. The music stopped—the song was over, and there was a pause before the next one began. Bea knew what would happen if this were actually a real date, if they were somewhere else, if he were braver, or if she were, if—

He dropped his hands abruptly, jerked back and left her moored in infinite space, the cameras jutting through, black and claustrophobic as she felt the blood rush to her face, her breathing fast and shallow.

“I’m sorry,” he said dumbly. Bea stood stock-still, trying to ward off whatever she was feeling until she was anywhere else, wishing Marin could be here to witness this moment so she would never shove Bea off a cliff into abject humiliation ever again.

“Okay!” said a producer. “Let’s take that again, get you dancing to the next song, then we can slow it down for the end-of-date kiss—you guys ready to go?”

Asher looked pained. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” He turned to Bea. “I’m sorry.”

Bea kept her face impassive, her tone deadened. “It’s no problem. Let’s call it a night.”



@Reali-Tea Ok y’all, time for this week’s kiss-off ceremony: Bea’s rocking a purple lip (shade: “You’re turning violet, Violet!”) and presumably dismissing some Barneys who’ve barely gotten camera time. Let’s see who gets the ax!

@Reali-Tea First kiss goes to Sam—no surprise there, how cute was their date?? Tho she really should have kissed him imo BEA IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, MAKE OUT WITH HOT MEN IN DISNEYLAND, OK?

@Reali-Tea Next up is football hero Wyatt, looking so cute in his sweater! Build me a fire, Wyatt! Bea looks so happy to see him and hug him, I seriously need these two to get their one-on-one next week. @MainSqueezeABS pls make this happen???

@Reali-Tea Third kiss goes to Luc, and if he thinks we didn’t all see him cop a feel when Bea leaned in to kiss him, HE IS SORELY MISTAKEN. (oh god she’s so lucky truly how soon until overnight dates????)

@Reali-Tea Kisses for Jefferson, Trevor, Jaime, and Kindergarten Ben. Snooze! Jefferson seems like he has potential, but he’d better make an impression soon, or he’s gonna get swept off with the rest of these also-rans.

@Reali-Tea Kisses, inexplicably, to Nash and Cooper???? Does Bea seriously not see that these two are GARBAGE, or is this blatant producer manipulation? Main Squeeze Nation, let us bow our heads and pray for the imminent removal of this human refuse.

@Reali-Tea Wait, is Bea kicking off Asher?? I know she was blindsided when he wouldn’t kiss her (same tbqh!!!!!!!), but it seemed like she liked him so much?? Hard to say now, though—he looks miserable, and so does she.

@Reali-Tea Phew! Asher gets the final kiss!!!! I have a feeling there’s more to come for these two—and I can’t wait to find out what it is.





EPISODE 4


“HOMECOMING”


(10 men left)


Shot on location in Cheshire, Ohio


SCRIPT OF MAIN SQUEEZE PROMOTIONAL AD


released 24 hours in advance of Season 14, Episode 4


OVER FOOTAGE OF A BLACK, STARRY SKY IN OUTER SPACE, WE HEAR A VOICE—

VOICEOVER

This week, on a brand-new episode of Main Squeeze, we’ll go boldly where no boyfriend of Bea’s has gone before …

ZOOM THROUGH HYPERSPEED TO … A QUAINT SUBURBAN HOUSE

VOICEOVER

Her parents’ house.