One Night With You (The Derrings #3)(62)

Smiling, she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.





Chapter 25


Seth opened his eyes and squinted against the dimness. The drapes had not been drawn and the early morning air, chalky with the city's usual fog, pressed against the windowpanes. He lay on his side, Jane's body curled into his. His arm clung to her as though he feared she might somehow vanish with the fading night. Inhaling the subtle apple scent of her, he skimmed his hand over the smooth curve of her hip, hardening at the feel of her, warm as velvet, soft as silk. Knowing he was on the verge of taking her again, he sucked a steadying breath into his lungs and unwrapped himself from her tempting curves.

Standing, he donned his robe, studying her in the gray light of dawn as he tied off the belt. His gaze slid over the sleek lines of her legs and a familiar burn ignited his blood as he recalled their silky texture wrapped around him.

He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with her—crawl back inside her. To never part from her.

She made him feel…

He dragged a hand over his bristly jaw. Hell, she made him feel. The realization unsettled him, rocked his heart from the cave where it lodged. He took a sudden step back as if a snake coiled before him. The last time he had felt this strongly about a woman, his soul had been razed, his heart bled dry.

Love carried a price. He knew that. And he would never pay it again. His gaze swept over Jane, devouring the sight of mahogany hair tangled about shoulders that gleamed like polished marble in the dawning light. Not that he would ever deny himself of her again. He was not fool enough to try, to think he could.

But that did not mean he had softened and turned into the fool of his youth, hungering for love. He would have her whenever the urge took him. That did not mean he loved her. Did not mean he had yet again lost control of himself.

Determined, he turned and strode into his room, heart sealed tightly. Jane woke smiling, her body warm and sated, a lethargy she had never known weighing her down, liquefying her bones, making her feel heavy as lead.

Memories of the night before assailed her. Of Seth. Of her. Of thorough, exhaustive lovemaking she hoped to repeat at the first opportunity.

Twice now, she had fallen asleep in his arms. Her smile deepened. She stretched out an arm, eager to touch him again, to feel his warm skin. Her hands met cool linen. Smile slipping, she sat up and looked around her, staring at the rumpled, sun-dappled bed.

Her brow creased. Seth was gone. Without a word, without a touch.

She drew the counterpane over her nudity and curled into a small ball, trying to imagine it was Seth's arms around her and not merely her own.

Jane hovered in the threshold, observing Julianne sitting alone at the dining table, a forlorn expression on her face as she fiddled with the food on her plate.

"How long are you going to stand there?" Julianne asked, lifting a spoonful of porridge to her mouth.

With a rueful smile, Jane stepped into the room. "How did you know I was here?"

"Apples. You always smell of apples."

"It's my favorite jam." Jane moved to the sideboard and selected two slices of toast. Taking a seat across from Julianne, she began applying a generous amount of said jam to her toast, staring thoughtfully at Julianne as she did so. The secret of Julianne's relationship with Seth's valet rested heavily on her shoulders. Especially after last night. He had come to her. Sensible or not, hope filled her heart. She did not want secrets between them.

"I wonder," she began. "Why not try and explain to your brother how you feel about Mr. Knightly?" Jane bit into her toast, briefly closing her eyes in appreciation of the sweet tang of apples on her tongue.

"You think he would listen?"

Jane swallowed her bite. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. But what can come of keeping it secret?" Julianne lifted her teacup carefully to her lips. "I suppose it unfair of me to ask you to keep secrets from Seth. He is your husband."

Jane inhaled deeply. "I confess it makes me uncomfortable, but I won't tell him. You should. If what you and Mr. Knightly feel is true, I can't imagine Seth not encouraging the relationship. He loves you."

"And that would certainly make things better for you and Seth." Jane cocked her head to the side, failing to understand. "What do you mean?" Julianne lowered her cup to her chin, saying, "To permit me to marry, Seth would have to see me as… whole. Not an invalid he must devote his life to tending. And that wouldn't be so bad for you, would it? A husband free of guilt, free to love."

Jane's chest contracted, her skin suddenly tight and itchy as she shifted in her chair. "I don't know what you mean."

Julianne set her teacup down with a noisy clack. "I can still see your face in my mind, you know. Do you still wear your heart on your face? I know you loved him, Jane. Everyone knew." Julianne's mouth slanted in a grin. "Well, everyone but him."

"It was a long time ago." Jane fiddled a spoon beside her plate, seeing no sense denying what was past. "I was just a girl. What did I know of love?"

"Apparently more than you know now if you don't recognize that you're still in love with him." Still in love with him.

Yes. She accepted that.

Shoulders slumping, she leaned back in her chair. But Seth wanted no love from her. And would give none. The most she could expect were nights like last night.