One Indian Girl(66)

‘Everything good?’ he whispered.

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I simply nodded. It wasn’t just good. It was divine, sublime, insane Philippines-exclusive-island-level good.

I could feel the build-up of an orgasm within me, as could he. I squeezed his face between my thighs. I came, hard. He lifted himself up and brought his face close to mine. He used his arm to gently part my legs and entered me. He moved with gentle and firm strokes. I felt the build-up again and I came a second time, more intensely than the first. My body shook, I closed my eyes, and I blacked out for at least thirty seconds. This one orgasm had the intensity of ten orgasms.

He paused after I came and pulled out of me. He brought his face close to mine and gently pecked me on the cheek.

‘You okay?’ he said, his voice tender.

‘That. . .’ I said as I gasped for breath. ‘That. . .was something else. How on earth did you do that?’

He simply grinned in response. In embarrassment, I covered my face with my hands. He gently removed my hands and looked into my eyes.

He entered me again. He felt bigger than before. I clutched his shoulders as we continued to make love. Water hit us from time to time. We kissed till I felt his shoulder spasm under my hand and he groaned.

He looked into my eyes and smiled. He played with my eyelashes. He put his arm around me as we lay down side by side, facing each other.

‘That was. . .’ he whispered and paused to take a breath before he spoke again, ‘something else.’

‘I know,’ I whispered back.

The stars twinkled above us. My day had started early with a morning flight in Hong Kong. Our frantic lovemaking made me feel tired. Fatigue took over. I closed my eyes.





27


The sun has a way of making everything visible, even your blunders. When dawn broke I opened my eyes. I blinked, trying to orient myself. The seawater glistened in front of me but my mouth felt parched. I felt a headache coming on. Water, I needed water. Neel lay next to me, fast asleep.

‘No way,’ I mumbled. ‘No way, Radhika. No way.’

I smacked my forehead. I found my clothes next to me. I wore them as quietly and quickly as possible. I stood up, wondering if I should wake Neel up. I decided not to. I picked up the glasses and the empty champagne bottle, the catalyst to last night’s disaster, and walked back. The sun rose higher. I walked fast. I didn’t want to face Neel right now. In fact, I didn’t want to face him ever.

Back in my room I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

‘Fuck,’ I said out loud. ‘What the fuck have you done, Radhika?’

I lay there motionless. A million thoughts ran through my mind. What did I just do? I slept with a partner at Goldman Sachs. I slept with a man twenty years older than me. I realized Neel was just ten years younger than my father.

Radhika, how could you do it? Mini-me jumped out of her cave. All of a sudden, mini-me had full authority.

There is something wrong, something totally fucked up about you. You are just a bloody useless little idiot.

My happy mood from yesterday had evaporated. Life had just begun to sort itself out. I had closed a great deal. I had been promoted. I had even somewhat gotten over Debu. All this had given me a new shot of self-esteem. Now it meant nothing. I curled up in my bed in tears. Mini-me continued to talk, or rather yell at me.

He’s fucking married. He has two kids. There is a wife. They are all waiting in Hong Kong, where both of you live.

Yes, it was true. And I had known it all before. What was I thinking? Or rather, why was I not thinking?

Life is not a private island in the Philippines, mini-me shouted at me.

I know, I know. I had nothing to counter my inner voice with.

This is why Debu left you. Something is wrong with you, seriously, you stupid, slutty bitch.

I sobbed. I don’t know why, but I cried and cried. I had crossed the line. Hell, I had not just crossed, but jumped and leaped miles over the line.

You had one thing going for you, your career. Now you have fucked that up too, mini-me said.

I berated myself for a long time. I realized I had to get up. I had to shower, pack and leave on a seaplane in an hour. I didn’t know how to face him. I didn’t want to. Could we go back on separate flights? Could I just go drown in the sea outside?

I wondered where Neel was. What if he didn’t wake up? Should I call him?

I heard a knock on my door. I froze. I opened the door to find one of the hotel staff.

‘Madam, your shoes. You left them in the restaurant last night.’

‘Oh, sure, thanks,’ I said.

‘I returned sir’s shoes to his room.’

‘Great. Was he there?’

‘Yes, he was. He asked me to tell you to meet in the seaplane reception area in thirty minutes.’

‘Sure,’ I said, relieved. I didn’t have to talk to him just yet. I showered and changed into a charcoal-grey suit. It was too formal and a misfit for my location but apt for my mental state. As if he would see me in this work suit again and things would be back to normal.

Funnily enough, he did seem pretty normal.

‘Hey, good morning,’ he said and smiled. He wore sunglasses, just like me. We had found a way to avoid eye contact.

‘Hi,’ I said.

‘All set? Time to say goodbye to the Pengalusian,’ he said. His voice seemed casual. He seemed calm, unlike the neurotic mess I was.