One Day in December(66)

‘I’d really like that.’ I could tell her what’s in my heart; that it will feel as if she’s representing Ginny on my special day. I don’t though, because it’ll set us both off again, and she knows it anyway. So I tell her instead that it’ll be perfect with her dress – an understated sea-foam green gown that makes her red hair come alive – and she agrees and then puts it carefully down before topping up our champagne.

We’ve made our way merrily through two bottles of Lucille’s expensive champagne, and I can hazily report that it gets you just as tipsy as its less expensive shelf-buddies.

‘I can’t believe you’re beating me down the aisle,’ Sarah says. The credits to Bridesmaids are rolling on Oscar’s massive flat screen (I still think of everything here as his, as if I am the lodger – I wonder if after we marry that will finally change), and we have foam toe separators on our feet.

‘Me neither,’ I say.

She reaches down into her box of tricks and pulls out a pack of cards. She wasn’t kidding when she said it was full of surprises; so far tonight she’s pulled out a succession of silly presents for me, from a pot of cinnamon which is meant to increase virility, to flip-flops with my new name on. We’re now on to a card game designed to embarrass and advise potential brides before they walk down the aisle.

‘How do we play?’

She takes the deck out of the box and reads the instructions on the back. ‘Deal everyone three cards, and then going in an anti-clockwise direction, read the question to the person two places to your left, blah blah blah.’ She starts to laugh and chucks the empty box over the back of the sofa. ‘Okay, let’s just take it in turns.’ She puts the deck down on the sofa between us. ‘You go first.’

I pick up the top card and read the question aloud to her. ‘What percentage of UK marriages end up in divorce (2012 figures used for representation)?’

‘Bloody hell, I’m taking these back,’ Sarah yelps. ‘The last thing you want to think about is divorce.’ But she breaks off to think. ‘Twenty-nine?’

I turn the card over to read the answer. ‘Forty-two per cent. God, that’s a bit depressing, isn’t it?’

I put the card down and she takes one. ‘Ah, this is better. What’s the first thing most women notice about a man?’ She reads the answer on the other side and laughs under her breath. ‘You can have three guesses.’

‘His car?’ I say, wasting one of my guesses.

‘Nope, not that.’

‘I don’t know … if he looks the spitting image of Richard Osman?’

He isn’t a random choice. He’s Sarah’s celebrity crush. ‘Don’t even joke,’ she says, glassy-eyed. She met him once at an award ceremony she was covering and only just refrained from whipping her top up and asking him to sign her boobs. ‘No one looks like Richard Osman except Richard Osman. Last chance.’

I take the question more seriously now it’s my last chance. ‘Eyes?’

‘Yes!’ She high-fives me. ‘Eyes. Have you seen Luke’s eyes? I’ve never seen bluer eyes in my life.’

I nod. She’s been loosely dating Luke since the summer; he’s her date at the wedding. She’s asked me not to mention it to Jack until she’s had time to tell him herself, although I don’t know if she’s done it yet. He left for Edinburgh the day after I bought my wedding dress, and aside from a text to let me know he could make the wedding, I haven’t heard from him. I stumbled over a photo on the internet of him at an event a few weeks ago, some music launch with a tiny blonde on his arm, so at least I know he’s alive.

I pick up the next card and squint at it. ‘Most popular bridal flower?’

Sarah rolls her eyes. ‘Roses. Too easy. One all.’

I let her have the point without bothering to check if she’s right.

‘This one better be more interesting or we’ll give up,’ she says, flipping the top card. ‘How many times does the average person fall in love in their lifetime?’

I pull a face. ‘How can that be averaged? Everyone’s different.’

‘Go on your own experience. You know how hard you fell for all those guys I set you up with at uni.’ She laughs. ‘What was his name in the shorts again?’

I don’t dignify the question with an answer, because my champagne-soaked brain can’t drag up anything beyond his hairy legs.

‘Twice, maybe?’ I take a stab at the answer.

Sarah puts the card down in favour of reaching for our wine glasses.

‘I think more. Five.’

‘Five? You reckon? That’s a lot.’

She shrugs. ‘You know me. I like to spread it around.’

We both laugh, and she rolls her head sideways against the sofa to look at me.

‘So the two loves of your life have been Oscar and who? Bus boy?’

It’s been years since she mentioned him. I was sure she’d forgotten all about him. I shake my head. ‘Oscar, obviously, and my college boyfriend.’

‘Then your magic number is three, Lu, because you totally fell in love with bus boy. Hook, line and sinker. We spent an entire year looking for him. You were obsessed.’

I feel a bit cornered, so I swill my wine around and try to think of a quick change of subject. I’m too slow.