Off Sides(39)

Ryan's face is awash in anger and disbelief. My stomach is rolling and my head is pounding. He's going to make me irrevocably hurt him.

I stand up and straighten my spine. I dash my tears away and look at him with as much disgust as I can muster. "You bring too much misery and chaos to my life, Ryan. Your parents hate me. Your friends think I'm a whore.”

“But we’ve talked about this. We’re handling those things together. I don’t believe those things are driving you away from me.”

I have to make the final push so he believes me. My soul dies over my next words. “For God’s sake, Ryan...I almost got raped because of some pissing contest you had with your teammate. It’s your fault.”

Ryan’s face blanches and so much pain fills his eyes that I think I might vomit. He’s so wounded right now and I am the one that did this to him. My heart shrivels and dies. I’ll never be able to forgive myself.

Ryan looks down at the carpet, confusion on his face. Then he looks back up at me.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I didn't mean to cause you any pain."

Oh my God. I'm getting ready to lose it in front of him and I need him to leave before I break down and confess his mother's wicked plot. I reach on the other side of the couch and pull out my violin case. I walk to the door and open it. "Please leave, Ryan and don't contact me again."

I'm looking at the floor, trying to stop the flood of tears I can feel coming. Ryan walks up to me and I can feel him staring at me hard. I hold the case out. "Take the violin. I don't want it."

He doesn't say anything for a minute and I refuse to look at him. Finally, he says, "It was a gift to you, Danny. Throw it away if you don’t want it."

Then he steps out the door and out of my life.

I softly close the door behind him and then sink to the floor, weeping for the torment I caused him.





CHAPTER 17




Ryan



I'm driving to my parents' home in Beacon Hill. My father is still in Washington, D.C. but my mother invited me to lunch. I am furious with her. I cannot prove it but I just know that she is behind Danny's sudden break up with me.

At first, when I left Danny's apartment, I was shell shocked. Everything that made me happy had suddenly been stripped from me. I was mad at Danny for all of about two minutes, but while I was driving back home, it struck me. Danny didn't have it in her to break up like that. On top of that, I know without a doubt that Danny loves me. It would take something monumentally sinister to get her to do that. And the most monumentally sinister thing I knew was my mother.

I've tried calling Danny several times. She won't answer the phone or return my messages. I've called Paula but she is vague and non-committal. She says she'll pass my messages on but I have no clue if she is really doing it. I've even staked out Helping Hands Ministry and Sally's, hoping to catch her so we can talk. She's avoiding me like the plague.

Now it's been two weeks since Danny booted me out of her life and I want answers. The formal criminal charges against me were dropped. My attorney worked a deal out with Malone’s attorney. He may get a nominal part of my trust fund, but it’s worth it not to have that shit hanging over my head. This news should make me deliriously happy but it tastes cold and bitter. None of it matters if Danny is not in my life.

I pull into the driveway and take a few meditative breaths. I'm going to need all the help I can get dealing with my mother.

Walking into the house, I hear voices coming from the back sunroom. I walk in and immediately spot Angeline sitting next to my mother. They stop talking when they see me and in the next instant, Angeline runs to me, throwing herself against my body.

"I've missed you so much, Ryan."

My arms remain at my side and I clench and unclench my fists in an effort to remain calm. When Angeline doesn't take the hint that I'm not returning her embrace, I peel her off of my body and step away from her.

"What are you doing here, Angeline?" My voice is cold and flat.

The smile drops from her face and she looks at my mother for help.

“I just assumed you’d be happy to see me now that you’ve broken up with that...” Angeline trails off when she sees the murderous look on my face.

"I invited her to lunch with us, Ryan,” my mother interrupts. “Now stop being so rude."

I turn to Angeline. "You need to leave. And please accept my word when I tell you that I am not interested in you anymore nor will I ever be."

"Ryan!" my mother admonishes me.

Angeline doesn't move and she’s looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Leave, Angeline. Now!" My voice is cold and furious, and she knows better than to test me right now. She scurries away like a small rodent and moments later I hear the front door slam.

My mother is looking at me with shrewd eyes. I take the seat that Angeline just vacated. "We need to talk, Mother."

Clasping the pearls around her neck, my mother leans back in her chair and crosses her legs. She can't help herself when she says, "Honestly, Ryan. I have no idea what's gotten into you. You are going to have to do some groveling now to get Angeline back."

I sit forward in my chair and rest my elbows on my knees, clasping my hands together. I look my mother straight into her eyes, and ask, "Do you ever really listen to anything I say?"