Nolan: Return to Signal Bend (Signal Bend)(11)

She changed the color of her hair all the time—really changed it, not just different shades of red, the way Shannon did. In the past few years, Nolan had seen Iris’s hair in black, brown, a few different reds, and several different blondes. Tonight, as far as he could tell in the weird lighting of the Hall, she was a pale blonde.

There was nothing at all wrong with the way she looked.

She’d been away at college when he’d come back from SoCal. Since he’d been back, she’d actually spent more time in Signal Bend than she ever had before, spending breaks and whole summers with Show and Shannon, so he guessed he’d gotten to know her a little, but he’d never before had the urge to kiss her.

Of course, in the years since he’d been back from SoCal, he hadn’t had that kind of urge to kiss anyone. When his body got restless, he found a club girl, but that was about calming his body down. His heart had not been paying attention for a very long time.

Maybe that was why he’d kissed Iris. The urge had come on him when she’d said that thing about not having any dreams and plans. Memories of Analisa had swarmed up and filled his head and heart. Ani had had a whole list of dreams and plans. All the time they’d been together, she’d been trying to live them all, to live a full, complete life as fast as she could, while the bomb inside her body was ticking away its countdown. She’d done it, too. She’d crossed off all the items on her list. And he had helped her. And then she’d died.

Thinking about Ani, he’d kissed Iris.

And that was seriously f*cked up. Maybe he was an * after all.

He tried to feel bad about it, but he didn’t. Because something old and rusty had stirred inside him during that first kiss, and when he’d gone back in for a second, he’d truly been kissing Iris.

What did that mean, though?

Len pulled open Tuck’s door, and the jukebox blared Blake Shelton into the night. As Nolan moved to step in, Len grabbed his arm again. “Be smart, Nolan. For your sake and hers.”

Being confronted with the complications of a kiss he didn’t even understand pissed him off, and he yanked his arm free. “Back off, old man.”

Len gave him an irritated look, but kept his trap shut. They went into Tuck’s. Other than the booming juke, the place was quiet and only about half full. Looked to be a cake patrol. Nolan would have some time to think.

He wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not.



oOo



On Christmas Eve, the Horde and most of Signal Bend spent just about the whole day doing a gift drive for needy families throughout a wide swath of mid-Missouri. They set up a collection center in the Signal Bend Visitor and Information Center on Main Street, and several of the shops set up gift wrapping stations. The cafés offered hot chocolate, eggnog, and snacks, and they even had a country band playing on the boardwalk, keeping warm under big standing heaters.

Nolan’s job was to keep an eye out and make sure that everything stayed calm and nobody had some bright idea about sneaking off with even one package. He had Tommy, Saxon, and Mel helping him out. He was standing near the Visitor Center door, trying to tell himself that he wasn’t freezing his ass off, when his mom and Loki came up, leading Bart’s kids: Lexi, Ian, and Declan. All the Horde women had been taking shifts helping Bart out with his kids since he’d moved them all home in October.

Seeing his mom, he smiled, but before he could say anything, Lexi came up quickly and hugged his legs. She was Loki’s age, ten, but she was little and barely came up past his waist. He crouched down and hugged her, and then Ian and Deck were on him, too. He pulled the boys into his embrace as well.

He’d seen them only a week or so ago, but it was always like this when he did. They’d all been born and raised in SoCal, and since he’d spent more than a year with the SoCal charter, he guessed he was the most familiar face in Signal Bend besides their father.

“Hey, guys. You here to help with the gifts?”

“Yeah we’re helping SANTA,” four-year-old Declan answered.

“That’s great, buddy.”

Nolan kissed Lexi’s head and stood up. It always made him hurt a little to be around these kids; his affection for them was woven with threads of his memories of Analisa. One of her dreams had been to be a mother. Since there had been no chance at all that she’d ever realize that in reality, he’d found a way to give her the experience, and they had ‘borrowed’ Bart and Riley’s kids for a weekend. That memory was one of his best—and most painful.

Bart and Riley were deeper parts of his memories of Analisa for other reasons, too. Riley had been friends with Ani’s father. She had introduced them. Without Riley, he would have never known her, loved her, or lost her.

And now Bart had lost Riley. He’d moved their kids home, back to Signal Bend, because Riley had been killed in club violence—violence that David Vega was largely responsible for. That loss was still fresh, and it filled Bart’s eyes no matter what he was doing or whom he was with. Nolan could see it in Lexi and Ian’s eyes, too. An empty place where their mother belonged.

Yeah, Nolan’s feelings about Bart and his kids were deep and sharp.

Bart came up on the boardwalk, and his kids went to him. Lexi, who’d been hurt in the same violence, still limped noticeably.

Nolan’s mom was carrying a cardboard box full of new toys for the drive. He took it from her and carried it into the Visitor’s Center, where Lilli, Isaac’s old lady, and Shannon were logging in all the donations, and Tasha, Len’s old lady, and Candy, Double A’s, were sorting everything into groups to send out for wrapping.