Nocturne(77)

“It was all over your faces on that stage, Gregory. Don’t lie to me about what’s going on between you two on the road.”

There it was. The accusation of an affair I’d tried to avoid since I first spotted Savannah one row back on our first day of rehearsal. The reason I’d been so cold to her for the last few weeks. I’d attempted to keep my distance from Savannah Marshall once, and it ended horribly for both of us. On this tour I knew I couldn’t keep my physical distance, so I built an emotional wall to keep out someone who was mattering to me more each day.

Someone who could ruin things for me. For my life.

Again.

Thankfully, the car pulled up to the hotel and our driver opened my door.

“Listen, Karin. My car just got back to the hotel. Once I get settled into the room I’ll call you back. I want to talk—”

“Don’t bother, Gregory.” With that, Karin ended the call, and I slammed my fist against the doorframe with a growl.

After mumbling an apology to our driver, and handing him twenty dollars, I rushed through the hotel doors, ignoring Savannah, trying to maneuver through the revolving door with my cello case in hand.

“Gregory!” She called after I made it into the lobby, moving rather quickly for wearing such high heels. I stopped but didn’t turn to face her until she caught up. “Gregory,” she said again, breathless as she put her hand on my shoulder.

“We can’t do this, Savannah. Not again.” I gritted my teeth as I faced her, shrugging my shoulder so she would drop her hand.

She did, scrunching up her forehead, shaking it slightly side to side. “Do what?”

“This … I … I—” I ran a hand through my hair and set it on my hip, barely able to look her in the eyes. I took a deep breath and continued. “Look, Savannah. I could very easily get hung up on you … swept up in you. Again. And, I can’t. That would just be … disastrous to my life.”

“Again,” she said pointedly. Not really a question, but I sensed she wanted a response.

“Yes, again. Five years ago we—”

“Were in love, Gregory. At least that’s what you said. That you were in love with me. Remember?” Her bottom teeth pinched her top lip before she continued. “But, if you were just swept up then … I guess … that’s that.” She crossed her arms and stared right through me.

I leaned in close, to avoid causing a scene. “Damn it, Savannah, I’m married.”

“I know you’re married,” she hissed back. “I also know that I can’t stop f*cking thinking about you. That the anger I harbored toward you for the last five years was just wounded love. It never went away. The pain of you casting me aside on your front steps and the bottomless love I felt for you. None of it has gone away.”

Her voice shook as she vocalized the identical feelings I’d felt off and on over the last five years. I was in love with her.

Still. Always.

And, once again, there was nothing I could do about it. This time, it was killing me.

I panicked and said something I never should have said.

Ever.

Still whispering, I said, “I suggest, Miss Marshall, that you find someone else’s life to ruin. Mine is off limits.”





Savannah


The words hadn’t even finished spilling from his lips before I landed my open palm across his cheek. He winced. I’d hit him with enough force he had to take a step backward.

Despite my refusal to cry, tears fell. He’d just told me I was a problem. A distraction that could ruin his life. I didn’t care that he looked pained, anguished even, as he said it.

He said it. I heard it. It hurt.

“Jesus Christ, Savannah!” Gregory kept his voice low and measured. But I could see the red finger marks appearing across his face.

“Breaking my heart in front of your best friend once wasn’t enough for you?”

I knew it wasn’t fair to call his bluff on his emotions. Not now. Not when he was married. But, Christ, when you’re in love with someone, you tell them.

You don’t make them feel like dirt.

“It was for both of us—”

I put my hand up. “We’ve rehearsed this scene before, remember? I know what comes next. I walk away.” With a trembling voice I turned on my heels, ignoring the gaping stares from passers by.

Just put one foot in front of the other, Savannah. You’ve walked away from him once before, and you can do it again. Even if it kills you.

Straightening my shoulders, I took two even steps before Gregory’s long, soft fingers tightly gripped my upper arm, stopping me in my tracks. I tried to tug it away without turning around, but in a second, I was spun around to face him. I only caught a glimpse of the fire in his eyes before his lips were on mine.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pressed one hand into the small of my back, the other hand cradling the back of my head. Our mouths were open and our tongues searching each other’s before I had a chance to fight back.

I didn’t want to fight back.

“I’m so sorry, Savannah,” his voice was husky in the milliseconds our mouths separated. “I’m sorry.”

The tears continued pouring from my eyes as I kissed back with equal force. “I’m sorry, too,” I replied.