Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(21)

“Hobbies. Sports. Activities.”

“Does hunting count?”

“I suppose so, unless it’s how you put food on your table. Then it seems like a job.”

“I guess it’s a little of both. Sometimes I’m able to catch enough to share with the elders at the pueblo who aren’t able to hunt for themselves any longer.”

“Are you very active there?”

“Active?”

“You know, tribal councils. Festivals.”

“I’m not a tribal member. Just a guest.”

“I see. But you seem to do a lot for them.”

“No, they’re the ones who’ve done a lot for me. They respect veterans and gave me a place to regroup when I just couldn’t take the world any longer.”

“Has it gotten better for you out there?”

“Some. I’m here and haven’t gone nuts. That wouldn’t have happened even a year ago.”

How had Adam lost one of his Marines? He had to keep tabs on them and their families if he’d managed to round up so many of them for such a rushed wedding. She’d overheard some of the conversations at the reception about what he meant to so many of them.

So how had Ryder fallen through the cracks?

“When was the last time you heard from Adam before he called you the other night?”

“A while.”

His evasive answer told her what she needed to know. “How did he find you after all these years?”

“I’ve tried to figure that out. I think if he knew my number he’d have called to check on me earlier. I’m sure he does that with his Marines. But my guess is Lance Corporal Grant. That woman could track anyone through a computer and government or public files. Orlando might have said something, but I didn’t tell him where I live. I ran into him at a Patriot Guard Riders funeral a couple months back.”

“Patrick goes to PGR events, too, when he can.”

“Anyway, if I had to place money on it, I’d still say Grant. She probably found where I’d been to the VA Hospital.”

“Old injury?”

A muscle tensed in his jaw. His piercing stare made her so uncomfortable she sat back in her chair, taking her wine glass with her.

“No. Psych ward.”

She took a deep breath. Tears burned the backs of her eyes. “I’m so sorry. Did they help any?”

He shrugged. “Not sure there’s any hope.”

“Never give up. They’re going to figure this shit out one of these days, but if you ever need someone to talk with, I’m here.”

“Don’t promise that to a combat veteran unless you’re ready for a call at all hours, even three in the morning.”

“I said I’m here. I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I’ve been there for those three a.m. night terrors with Patrick.”

“Beg pardon. I guess you know more than most civilians. You get tired of the platitudes after a while.”

“I know how to listen. I won’t judge. I know you guys went through hell over there. The women, too. Combat has changed. Everyone deployed overseas is affected in some way. Patrick spent most of his time in a plane, but I think there was a friendly fire incident.”

“Fuck. Sorry. Those can be some of the worst to put behind you.”

“He found a program out in Malibu that turned things around for him pretty fast. If you ever want to try it, let me know, and I’ll get you the contact info.”

“That’s all right. Being anywhere near Los Angeles would cause more harm than it would do good. Besides, I’m doing a lot better now.”

“When’s the last time the nightmares came?”

He stood abruptly and picked up his empty plate and wine glass. “I’d better get these to the kitchen and clean up my mess.”

The way his hand held the wine glass made her wonder what his hand would feel like on her breast. A momentary image of her and Ryder in a passionate embrace in her bed caught her by surprise. Her face flamed hot.

What the heck was the matter with her?

She followed him to the kitchen with her own dirty dishes and shooed him out so she could wash them. “I made up the sofa for you last night. Why don’t you go rest a while before you drop?”

He didn’t argue. Probably wanted to put some distance between her and her questions. She’d only been making conversation. Hadn’t meant to pry. Okay, maybe she had a little. While loading the dishwasher, she thought about the day she had spent with Ryder. They had enjoyed many companionable moments. A few times, some tension interfered, but she was learning where he was sensitive so she could avoid those areas.

On her way down the hall, instead of stopping immediately in her office, she peeked into the living room where he lay stretched out on the sofa. He appeared to be asleep. She supposed he hadn’t lost the knack for falling asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

*

Ryder stretched out on the couch again. Sleeping on the floor would probably be better than this, but he’d make do. How much longer could Top possibly want him here? After adjusting the pillow cushions to his liking, he curled on his side. Megan had left him linens the first night he stayed here, but he didn’t like a lot of covers. They tended to tangle up around his feet when he slept. What if he needed to make a quick escape?