Need You for Keeps (Heroes of St. Helena, #1)(80)

But as the week went on, as well as the tears, she finally got tired of crying over something that she couldn’t fix and decided that Jonah was wrong.

Shay might be difficult and haphazard and a little flighty, but she knew what love was. Her mother’s life and death had taught her everything she needed to know about love. It was warm and safe and risky and freeing and fierce and with complete abandon.

That was how her mother loved. That was how Shay loved. And that was how she wanted to be loved in return.

She just needed to find someone who felt the same way. Even though her gut kept telling her that she already had. It was also telling her that she got too close and he got scared. The kittens were just an excuse to gain some of that distance he was so fond of.

Well, he got his distance and in the process broke her heart. And she wasn’t willing to take all the blame. She’d made a mistake, a big one, but so had he.

“You ready to get this grand opening party rolling?” Clovis asked, stepping out onto the patio.

She was with Harper and Emerson, and they were all holding giant party-bowl glasses filled to the brim with a bright pink-and-orange concoction. Emerson held two.

“I don’t know,” Shay admitted, but reached for the glass, waiting for her friends to hand it over. Her friends, who had hugged her when she cried, called Jonah an asshat even though they didn’t believe it, and stood by her side throughout the whole scandal. “But a drink sounds nice.”

“Sorry,” Emerson said, taking a sip from the swizzle straw. “My Hound Dogs are too good to be served at the pity party you’ve got going on.”

Shay eyed the glass but dropped her hand. News of her arrest was on Facebook before she’d even been processed. Although Nora swore she didn’t post it—Warren claimed that deed—there were still over five hundred likes and comments. Shay hadn’t had the heart to read any of them. She hadn’t wanted to know what the town really thought about her.

“Sitting here, I can still hope that there will be a big turnout,” she admitted. “That the town will see why I stole the kittens and forgive me. But once I open that door I will know, without a doubt, if St. Helena could ever be my home.”

“This town has always been here for me,” Emerson said, sucking down another long slurp. “And I’ve done some pretty stupid things.”

“She’s done a lot of stupid things,” Harper said, and Emerson toasted to that.

“But you guys are one of them,” Shay said, knowing they couldn’t understand. They’d been raised here, had a history with the town, and that meant something. Shay had blown in and blown up the life of the town’s favorite hero. That was a lot to get past.

Harper’s face softened and she sat next to her. “Maybe you are too.”

Shay felt some of the panic biting at her stomach drain away, and she nodded. But she didn’t really feel any better. Because under the panic was an unbearable sense of loss and sadness. Even if the town could get past her action, and that was a big if, she wasn’t so sure the one person who mattered the most could.

“Or maybe not,” Shay mumbled.

“Well, sitting back here wondering is a total * move,” Emerson said.

“Young people,” Clovis grumbled and sank to the patio chair. “Tell me, what is the worst that can happen?”

“Um, no one shows, I end up the big loser no one wants to be friends with, and Jonah hates me forever.” Wow, that last part hurt even to say.

“First off, who cares? I brought booze.” Emerson ticked off on her fingers, a difficult maneuver since she was double fisting Hound Dogs, but she managed. “I’m not friends with losers,”—another finger went up—“and his loss.”

This time Emerson held up one finger and Shay laughed past the lump in her throat.

“He’ll come around,” Harper said gently, then gave a pointed glare Emerson’s way. With a dramatic sigh, Emerson handed over the party bowl and Shay bypassed the straw and took a big gulp.

God, it was good. Maybe she’d just sit there all day on her patio, in the summer sun, sucking a few of these down. Three tops and she would be well on her way to forgetting why she was upset. But then tomorrow she’d still be sad and hungover.

“I don’t know,” Shay said, setting the party bowl down. “He was wrong about some things, but mostly he was spot-on in his assessment. We are just so different. He is determined to walk the line, and I walk it until I find where it fades.”

“As long as you end up in the same place, that’s all that really matters,” Harper said and Shay nodded, unable to speak.

Clovis looked at them as if they were dimwitted. “We are talking about a man, right? Because as far as I know, it’s about tabs and slots, dear, not lines.” At the other women’s confused expressions, Clovis continued, “As in putting tab A in slot B?”

“Grandma,” Harper said, covering her ears.

Clovis made a serious face and leaned in. “Unless the tab and slot don’t line up. Is that the problem? If so, they’ve got pills these days. In fact, I think I have a few left from my trip to Mexico.”

Clovis started digging through her purse and Shay stopped her.

“Tab and slot are just fine.” As far as Shay was concerned they lined up perfectly in that department. In fact, they lined up in every way that was important, except for one. “He doesn’t love me.”