Need You for Keeps (Heroes of St. Helena, #1)(79)
It was like a bullet straight through his chest, because that was exactly what he was doing. He’d watched his dad, filled with grief and anger at losing his soul mate and realizing she wasn’t replaceable, strip away everything that made his stepmom special. Little by little, until she left him, and then he’d died—lonely and still angry.
“She drives me crazy,” he admitted.
“Love can do that.”
“I don’t love her.” He loved a lot of things about her. Okay, he loved pretty much everything, but he wasn’t in love with her. Not like for keeps. He couldn’t be. Love was supposed to be easy and uncomplicated and absolute. But nothing about Shay was easy and she was so complicated she made him smile, and his feelings were so absolute they scared him.
Holy shit. Jonah felt his heart fire and miss, only to reload and fire again.
Adam pulled out his phone, snapped a picture, and laughed. “The look on your face is priceless.” He flipped the phone around and Jonah wanted to punch him. “Look, right there, it’s that constipated look you get when you’re trying to make everything fit into some neat and tight list that makes sense.”
Adam dropped the phone and smiled, leaning in close enough for Jonah to deliver that fist to the throat. “Stop thinking and look around. The only proof you need, bro, is right there.” He took a picture of the cat pawing Jonah’s leg. “You own a kitty dream house and share your bed with a cat named Kitty Fucking Fantastic.”
Jonah looked down and holy shit indeed . . . “I’m sharing my bed with Kitty Fucking Fantastic.”
Mew, Kitty Fantastic said, looking up at him with those big blue eyes. Jonah laughed until it hurt. Everywhere. The hurt was so raw and deep he couldn’t escape it, because that was all there was to say. That one meow confirmed everything.
He loved Shay. Every bit of her. And rather than celebrate who she was, he’d been like every other person in her life, turning her away merely for being true to herself and standing up for what she believed in.
“Did you know that the sheriff did some digging?” Adam asked and Jonah shook his head. “Turns out that Warren took the initial call from Mr. Gillis and didn’t log it.”
“Not surprised.” At this point, nothing about Warren surprised him.
“I also talked to a hot number with a great rack who works at animal control. Our Mr. Gillis is flagged in their system as a persona non grata. I guess adopting multiple kittens a month from multiple shelters is frowned upon in the rescue world,” Adam said. “Especially since he’s been cited in the past for possession of illegal snakes.”
Jonah looked at the cat curled up in his lap and felt his stomach turn. Kitty wasn’t a pet, just like Shay had claimed. He was bought to be something’s dinner.
“The sheriff knows that all Warren had to do was follow procedure and this whole clusterf*ck could have been avoided. That’s what he told the mayor, anyway.”
“He called the mayor?”
“Yeah, Bryant told the mayor that he was done being quiet, that giving you his backing was the right thing to do, and that the mayor would be a moron to back someone who doesn’t have the chops to handle the job, even if it was his own son. I guess Warren’s daddy is making him withdraw from the race.”
Jesus. Even after everything that had happened, the sheriff had faith in him. Which led Jonah to a verbal, “Jesus,” followed by, “That means I’m sheriff.”
A thought that was as humbling as it was terrifying. That kind of endorsement was a lot to live up to and Jonah didn’t want to let anyone down.
You already have.
He’d let down Shay and himself. Instead of following up on her complaint and seeing just what kind of home Kitty Fantastic would have gone back to, he’d spent the past few days sulking while his brother stepped up to make things right.
“Thanks, for looking into it, and for . . .” Jonah ran a shaky hand over his face. “Just thanks.”
“Are you kidding? If I am ever lucky enough to have a woman look at me the way Shay looks at you, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do to make her happy.” Adam grinned. “And did I mention the rack on the animal control girl?”
Jonah slipped a hand under Kitty Fantastic’s now-full belly and held him nose to nose. His little arms and legs hung limp, so much trust it floored Jonah. “I’m an idiot.”
Mew. A rough tongue peeked out and licked his nose and suddenly he got it.
He got why Shay did what she did. She’d followed her gut, even when in the eyes of the law taking the kittens had been illegal, and she’d never backed down. She was making friends and saving lives.
And she’d saved his. No doubt. Now it was time to prove that he was worth saving.
Shay had thought nothing could hurt as much as losing her mother.
She’d been wrong.
It wasn’t just losing Jonah that hurt. It was how she’d lost him that would haunt her. She’d trusted him in all the ways except the one that mattered. And he’d walked away because of it.
She’d spent the first half of the week trying to convince herself that he was mad, that he didn’t mean it, because even the best people say things they regret in the heat of the moment. That moment had been so intense it burned. But then he didn’t respond to her letter, didn’t let her know that he hadn’t changed his mind, which was as good as saying that he had, and so rather than give in to another round of tears, she’d spent the rest of the week focusing on getting St. Paws ready for its grand opening.