Naked Love(85)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE





A week ago, we said goodbye to Dad and Deedy as they headed off on an impromptu honeymoon in a rental car pointed toward wine country. Today, I had a job interview.

“I got the job,” I interrupt Lautner as he drones on about some object he pulled out of a kid’s nose today.

Sydney hands me another slice of pizza as everyone at the table gives me their attention. Lautner doesn’t look bothered by my interruption. He holds a hopeful gleam in his blue eyes.

“It’s just part-time, so I’m not quite ready to move out.” I give him a tiny cringe of apology.

“No one said you have to move out.” He grins.

Why does he have to be so perfect? And why did he fall in love with Sydney before I had the chance to take him for myself?

“That’s great, Ave. And you think your hand is good? You’ll be able to massage people?” Sydney nods to the kids when Ocean asks if they can be excused from the table.

I want a table with kids who ask to be excused, and a husband who lovingly welcomes the homeless and jobless.

One step at a time.

“It’s barefoot bar. I’ll be fine. But I need to find something else to supplement that income. Also, I’ve been contacting some friends, looking for a roommate. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be awhile before I can rent on my own.” I take a bite of pizza.

Sydney and Lautner stare at me, eerily still and expressionless. On second thought, they look utterly shocked. Yeah, that’s the vibe I’m getting.

“What?” I shrug.

“Who are you?” Sydney chuckles, a nervous kind of laugh. “What happened to you between Milwaukee and here?”

I sigh, wiping my mouth. “The past month has bestowed several heavy doses of reality upon me. Love. Heartbreak. Loss. Humiliation. Maybe I found God again. Wouldn’t that make Dad proud?”

Sydney nods in micro increments, eyes slightly narrowed. “Give us a minute, babe.”

Lautner pauses the pizza at his mouth.

“Take the rest.” She shoves the box in his direction, tossing him a wicked smile.

I love their story. Their looks. The exchanges that say so much about how hard they worked to get to this point in their life. Will I ever share that same smile? The same kind of love?

He stands, bending over to bite her neck. She jumps and giggles. Her smile settles into something more somber and sympathetic when he saunters off with the rest of the pizza. Her attention returns to me.

“If Jake said he’s sorry, and you love him, what’s holding you back?” Sydney sets her napkin on the table and leans back in her chair, arms folded across her chest.

“Why did you wait so long to tell Lautner about Ocean?”

She frowns.

I shake my head on a slow sigh. “It’s not a real question. I know the answer. I know you were crippled by fear, the idea of rejection, and the need to protect your heart. Well …” I lean forward, resting my arms on the table. “I’m doing the same thing. I’d say it’s a Montgomery trait, but I think it’s a human trait. If Jake were emotionally stable, free of a troubled past, if he simply had this knee-jerk reaction to my confession … I think it would be easier to …”

“Forgive him?”

I shake my head. “I forgive him. I just don’t trust him. He has too many demons, and I’m a trigger for all of them.”

“So you love him. You forgive him. But you don’t think you can trust him?”

“Bingo.”

Sydney’s lips twist to the side. “Deedy thinks he’s quite the catch. Kind. Loyal. Protective. I don’t sense she feels he’s not trustworthy. But … I’m Team Avery. So, if he’s not trustworthy for you, then I support your decision. I never imagined you’d be the calm in the storm these past few weeks, but other than the makeup incident at the rehearsal dinner, you’ve been helpful with the kids—”

“I love Ocean and Asher. That’s nothing new. And what do you mean by makeup incident?”

“Really?” She curls a few strands of hair around her finger. “So you didn’t panic at the thought of seeing Jake? You didn’t want to prove to him that you’re your own person?”

“Pfft … I didn’t panic. I had an epiphany. Two totally different things.”

Laughter bubbles from Sydney’s chest. “An epiphany?”

“Yes. I realized that I let him in my head to the point that I didn’t know if my thoughts were mine or his.” I shrug. “The fact is … I like makeup and clothes. I like it when my hair looks nice and my nails are painted. If I don’t use these things to measure my self-worth, then I don’t see why it’s a problem.”

She stands, gathering the dirty plates. “Maybe you did find God.” A smirk tugs at her lips. “You do you, Ave. Just make sure you’re not letting your ego and pride steal something that has great potential.”

I help her clear the table, opening my mouth several times before clamping it shut. Sydney gives me several knowing glances, taunting me to react, to say more.

“He’s a good kisser.” I break the silence.

“Yeah?” Sydney gives me a raised eyebrow.

Biting back my grin, I nod. “If he could love me the way he kisses me … you’d be the jealous sister for once.” I wink at her.