NOCTE (Nocte Trilogy #1)(48)

He levels a gaze at me, a look as black as night. “Be that as it may,” he concedes. “You’re still grieving. And we can’t begin something beautiful when there is still so much ugliness around us.”

I’m stunned and sad and silent as I stare away from him, out toward the opposite side of the boat. So he likes me, but he can’t be with me. What the hell kind of thing is this?

After a minute, he turns my chin with his thumb, making me look at him.

I don’t want to, but then again, I do. Because even when he’s infuriating, he’s beautiful.

“Ask me what my question is,” he instructs me.

I lift my chin.

No.

“Go on,” he urges. “Ask me.”

I want to know. I want to know why he wanted me out here in the middle of the water so he could ask it. I want to know what it is. I want to know what it could possibly be. So I ask.

“What is your question?”

He smiles and I swear it’s brighter than the sun.

“Calla, I want you.”

I suck in my breath at that. I wait and wait and wait for a question, all while his eyes penetrate my soul.

“I wake up in the night wanting you. I dream about you. But right now, you’re tied up in a lot of painful, hard things. I need to make sure that you’re not just drawn to me because you’re confused. I want to make sure that you really want me. I’m willing to be patient and find out. So my question is, can you be patient and wait, too?”

He wants to be with me? That’s all I can think of and never mind that he wants to wait until my mind is clear. Of course I’ll wait.

I start to nod and to ask how long, but he continues.

“Can you wait, no matter what happens in the meantime?”

I pause because what a strange thing to say. I must look as puzzled as I feel because Dare reaches out a finger and touches my lips.

“Don’t ask, because I can’t tell you right now. Everyone has secrets, Calla, even me. But can you wait until we have a fair shot, despite the secrets?”

God, I’m tired of secrets.

But God, I want Dare even more.

“On one condition,” I find myself saying. Dare lifts his head, surprised.

“And that is?”

“I don’t have a lot of experience with guys like you,” I tell him. Or guys, period. “But I want you. You’re all I think about.”

Dare’s lips curve. “I feel the same way.”

“So I don’t know how you can ask me to wait. I only have the summer, Dare. And then I’m leaving for college.” I pause and my heart flutters. “But if it’s important to you, I’ll wait for a little while. A very little while. But only if you do one thing for me.”

He waits, his dark gaze pensive.

“Give me a reason.”

The words are out before I can re-think them and take them back.

Realization clouds his eyes and before I can blink, I’m in his arms again, pulled to his chest and his mouth is ravaging my own. His lips, strong, yet soft, close over mine, pillaging them, bruising them, caressing them.

Kissing him is everything I thought it would be.

I sigh into his mouth and he inhales it as he inhales me. His hands trace the outline of my shoulder-blades, and then skim my back, down to my hips. They feel just as I’d imagined, strong, yet gentle.

He rocks me into him, and my hips meet a sudden rigidity, his very apparent desire for me. I’m taken aback by the hardness. But then it fuels the burning I feel, the burning that races along my veins, pumping through my heart. I burn because he’s hard for me.

He wants me.

My tongue twirls around his, before I nip at his lips. He groans as I press tighter against him, wedging myself between his legs, stealing his breath. His hands come up, toward my breasts, grazing my hardened nipples with his thumbs. He lingers there, for a moment, turning my points into pebbles as he nuzzles the softness of my neck, his lips blazing a trail.

Finally, he yanks away, his breathing ragged, as though he’s been burned. And I suppose he has. So have I. The chemistry between us is lightning hot.

He holds me at arm’s length as he regains his composure.

Then he looks at me and grins the most devilish grin.

“Did that do the trick?”

His question is light and playful, but the meaning really isn’t.

Because what he’s really asking is… is that enough for now? Is it enough to hold me over? Enough to make me wait?

And the answer is…I don’t know.

I don’t know because if he’s waiting until the worst of my grief is over, he could be waiting a while. Grief is an unpredictable thing, and honestly, I don’t think it ever really goes away. I think we just learn to manage it.

And maybe that’s really what he’s waiting for. For me to manage it… my grief, my life, Finn. There’s a lot there to manage. A lot of obstacles.

But as I stare at him, at the way the light turns his dark eyes to amber, at the way the sunshine bathes him in a golden glow and the connection between us sizzles hot and dangerous, I know one thing.

He’s worth the wait.

Despite our secrets.

Or maybe even because of them.





26


VIGINTI SEX

Finn