Move the Sun (Signal Bend #1)(48)

He was as good as his word.





CHAPTER TWELVE


It was still dark when Isaac woke in Lilli’s bed. That was becoming routine for him; when Lilli dreamt badly, she usually did so in the predawn. They’d spent most nights together over the past few weeks, and he estimated that she woke violently at least as many nights as she slept peacefully. Sometimes she woke repeatedly. Mostly, the excitement happened between three and five am. So he was beginning to wake before her.

Only twice had she actually come at him while she dreamt. Usually, she simply started awake, sitting up as if alarmed. Other times she jumped out of the bed, ready to fight. Always, as soon as she woke, she shook it off and settled back in bed with him. She would not tell him what was going on. She’d say only that it was over.

Aside from the two times he’d had to fend her off, he’d intervened only once, and that had gotten him punched in the face before she was fully awake. So he sat and watched, waiting for her to wake. He always asked, but she never told him. He assumed it had something to do with her time in Afghanistan. He knew a couple of vets, and they had twitches, too. Lilli was extremely level in every other way. Whatever was tormenting her seemed to be relegated to the shadows of her sleep.

Isaac was frustrated, though. He felt protective of her and wanted to do something that would help her.

The best he could offer was comfort when she settled back under the covers. She always curled snugly into him, and he held her while she eased back to sleep.

This morning, though, there was more on his mind than waiting to see if Lilli would dream. He could feel that there was something going on with her, something she was keeping from him that was more than the secrets he knew she had. They’d gotten close over these weeks, and despite the rapidity with which they were growing together, he knew it was real. His father was alive the last time he’d been any kind of serious with a woman. It wasn’t something he wanted or needed, at least not until now. What was happening with Lilli was something different, and he wanted it.

But the last few days, he could feel her putting a wall up. After he’d shown her the article Bart had found, and they’d talked, Lilli had been as easy and open with him as he’d been with her. Now, though, she was pulling back. It was subtle, and he couldn’t put his finger on how he knew, but he did. He could feel it.

It was in the way she’d drift off sometimes, just for a second or two, while they were talking. It was more clear in the way she was avoiding going to the clubhouse. He hadn’t realized it until last night, because she’d been dodging it so deftly, always sending the conversation somewhere else, but she was dodging it.

It didn’t make sense. He knew she wouldn’t be intimidated by the men, as some women were. She’d met most of them and utterly won them over—and, anyway, she was plenty used to a roughhouse crowd.

She was pretty damn roughhouse herself. He couldn’t imagine she’d have trouble with the women there, or with what went on with the women there. But there was something. He just didn’t know what it was. Not yet.

He wanted her there. Bringing her to the clubhouse made her more his. Now, in the minds of his club, she was his latest little bit of tail. Bringing her into the club changed that, made her his woman. With the shit that looked like it was about to come down on the Horde and on Signal Bend, getting her under the protection of the club was important, no matter how badass she might be.

Putting his ink on her would make it stick, but they were a goodly ways from that. That was not a thing Isaac took lightly. He’d never before had any thought of ever marking a woman, taking an old lady. He could see it happening someday with Lilli, but the secrets—all of them—needed to get cleared out first.

He’d told her the truth last night under the elm—he loved her. That much he knew. He trusted her. But she was holding something back. He knew it meant she didn’t feel like he did; she didn’t trust him completely. She was keeping a guard up. It didn’t change how he felt, and he wasn’t sorry he’d told her.

Isaac liked to be straight. Lies and dodges made nothing better. And that’s why he was awake now, wondering what new thing Lilli was hiding.

About fifteen minutes or so later, she came awake with a gasp. It was still mostly dark, and he whispered, “Hey,” so she’d know he was awake.

She turned to him and scooted closer. “Hey. Did you sleep at all?”

“Enough.” He pulled her in and kissed her head. “Lilli, talk to me.”

“Isaac, I told you, they’re nothing. They turn to mist as soon as I wake up. I barely remember.”

He didn’t believe her, but it was a lie he understood. He’d let her have that one. There was a small lamp on the dresser next to the bed. He turned it on and shifted her so they were face to face. “No, Sport. Not the dreams. Tell me what’s going on. There’s something new. Something you’re avoiding.”

“I don’t—”

“No. No lies. The secrets you have I understand. This is different. Lies I won’t deal with.”

He waited, holding her gaze, while she thought through whatever it was she needed to think through.

Eventually, she sat up and really faced him. “I love you, Isaac.”

“Lilli, you don’t have to say it because I did. I’m more secure than that.” He smiled and took her hand.