Mistakes Were Made(109)

Cassie shrugged. “Figured I might as well ask. It’s not like I’m not gonna be hers forever anyway, you know?”

It was a throwaway line, like it was no big deal. When Erin had kissed her senseless the moment they were alone, Cassie—once she’d gotten her breath back—had gaped at her and said, “What was that for?”

That was when Erin had decided to propose.

She’d already known she’d be Cassie’s forever, too, but that made her want to make it official. Standing up in front of their family and friends, announcing it, This is my person—she wanted that.

Erin also knew she could’ve proposed to Cassie at breakfast, or in the car, or the grocery store, or anywhere. Cassie was hardly the type to need a big production. Erin wanted to give her one anyway. Or—she at least wanted to make it special, because it was. She wanted to make it fit her feelings on the whole situation—that even if a marriage license were just a piece of paper, the idea of marrying Cassie meant a lot to her.

It’d be different this time around. With Adam, Erin had had grand dreams about marriage, about what their life would be like together. This time, she and Cassie had already been living together for two years. Erin had bought that house herself, halfway between Boston and Nashua. She was full time at her free clinic then, and Cassie was on her way to running her own lab with UAL. Erin had been ready to move on from the house she’d shared with Adam, regardless of whether Cassie had wanted to live with her or not, but it wasn’t exactly a surprise when Cassie had said yes.

It wouldn’t be a surprise this time, either, even if it was a bigger question.

In the end, Erin didn’t go with a big production so much as a sentimental one.

She’d told Parker, whose eyes had shone in delight, and Rachel, who’d said, “It’s about fucking time.” She’d had a ring made, with aquamarine, Cassie’s birthstone, and pieces of meteorite on either side. It was unique, and beautiful, and a little silly, just like her girlfriend, who still wore that rocket ship necklace from four Christmases ago.

And then she waited.

For the Fourth of July, the entire Turner family joined them at the lake house, plus Acacia and Rachel. It was most of the crew from that first Fourth, the night that had felt something like their first official date. There were no city fireworks at the lake, the way there were in Nashua. Instead, it would be random neighbors at varying times, though they’d all agreed to wait until after sunset.

Erin’s stomach churned all day. She cut watermelon and grilled hamburgers and her hands shook. Cassie seemed to notice, though she never asked, just stayed close, almost always within reach, but usually with a hand in the pocket of her Bermuda shorts, casual and present, not making a big deal of how needy Erin was being. Twice, Erin almost dropped to one knee right then and there, just to get it over with.

She managed to wait until sundown, though, when they all headed toward the dock to watch the neighborhood light up. Acacia had brought a hefty load of fireworks herself, but for now, she joined the rest of them on the dock. Must’ve been waiting until it was darker out to set the fireworks off from shore.

Cassie thrummed beside Erin. She loved fireworks, obviously—things that went fast and blew up? Win-win in Cassie’s book. Erin could feel the excitement coming off her in waves, or maybe it was just a reflection of Erin’s own nervous energy.

“Wait a minute,” Erin said, tugging Cassie’s arm before she could sit on the edge of the dock. She wanted to do this while Cassie was standing up.

“What’s up?” Cassie said. Her hand slid into her pocket.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to do,” Erin said.

She pulled the focus of everyone on the dock: Melissa, Jimmy, and Noah, who were already seated, Mae and Caleb standing beside them, Rachel, who was playing at disinterest, Parker and Acacia, who already had their phones out. Way to be obvious, Erin thought, even as she liked the idea of there being a video record of this moment.

Erin dropped to one knee.

“No!”

Cassie shouted the word, and Erin blinked up at her.

“No?”

Cassie tripped over her words. “No. Not no. Just—keep going. I’ll explain in a minute.”

Your girlfriend yelling no when you knelt in front of her seemed like a bad sign, but the way Cassie was beaming at her made Erin think otherwise. So, she kept going.

She’d spent a long time thinking about what to say. In the end, she’d decided on the simplicity of what Cassie had said to her to make them official.

“I want to go scuba diving with you for the rest of our lives.”

She popped open the ring box.

Cassie’s hand was still in her pocket. She lifted the other to her mouth, bit down on the knuckle of her pointer finger, somehow still smiling. She hadn’t even glanced at the ring. Her eyes stayed on Erin’s, tears welling in them as Cassie nodded.

“Yeah?” Erin asked.

“Yes, Erin, Jesus,” Cassie said, and yanked her to her feet so she could kiss her.

Cheers went up, first for them, and then again, louder from the rest of the neighborhood, after the first firework exploded above the lake. Erin only saw its reflection in Cassie’s eyes.

“You gotta look at the ring,” she said. She plucked it from its box as Cassie offered her left hand.

“Aquamarine?”