Mine Would Be You (80)

He looks around, eyes flickering from the living room to the kitchen and back to me. “I’m sure Emma’s told you we’ve been working on things.” I wait. “And I’m here to apologize for what happened. I was an asshole, and I had no right.”

I swallow, taking a sip of my water to soothe my dry throat.

He runs a hand over his hair and rubs his chin as he sighs. “I am sorry, Nina. You didn’t deserve that. You or Jackson. There’s no excuse for my actions.” He shakes his head slowly, his eyes closed for a second. “You and Jackson are two of the best people I know. I just never expected to see you two together. I’m not here to make excuses, so again, I’m sorry. I’m not saying this fixes anything or we have be friends. I just wanted you to know.”

I’m pretty sure I’m in shock. I’ve never, in my entire life, heard the words I’m sorry from Myles Henderson. To be hearing them now, after being treated like shit, is astounding and something I never expected. I was happy to hear about him and Emma working through things, but I never expected him to knock on my door and apologize.

He’s right, we’ll probably never be friends. But this makes him slightly easier to tolerate, especially as I become friends with Emma.

“That’s not all, though. I’m sorry for everything. For everything I never apologized for all those years ago when we were kids. I was an asshole who didn’t know what he wanted and thought he could have everything. I was wrong, and I was wrong for ever treating you or anyone, like that. So, I’m sorry.”

I think if my heart stopped in shock right now that would be fitting. It’s beating so quickly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. I never in a million years ever expected anything like this from him.

“Thank you, Myles.” I blink, trying to form more words, but I don’t know if I can. “That means more than you know.” Myles gives me a sad smile.

“It took me too long, but I’m trying. To be better.”

I nod, a small smiling forming on my lips.

Emma makes him want to be better, and that’s all I can ask for.

“That’s not the only thing, though,” he adds, and my eyes shoot up to his, my heart beating deeply in my chest.

“What else is there?”

Myles hesitates and inhales, holding the breath before letting it out in a deep sigh. “It’s about Jackson.”

My eyebrows furrow. “What about him?”

“I’ve tried to talk to him, which hasn’t worked out. But Emma has, briefly, and she told me about his dad. He won’t answer my calls, and I don’t blame him, since I did the same.”

I nod, gnawing the inside of my cheek. “His dad isn’t doing well. Neither is he.” It feels weird to be talking about Jackson with Myles. Feels like I got sucked into some parallel universe and everything is tilted on its axis.

His brown eyes meet mine, and all it does is make me miss Jackson’s blue ones.

We fall into silence for a moment, both of us just sitting in my kitchen not saying anything. The only sound is the TV I left on and the occasional honk of a car driving down a busy street.

I come back to my senses and circle around to his original statement. “Okay, but I know that, so why are you here? To talk to me about my—about Jackson.” I hesitate.

The word boyfriend sits like a weight on my shoulders. Because I realize we never defined anything. Not that it mattered. We weren’t in a rush; we both knew we were exclusive. I just don’t know what to call him in front of Myles, and my heart hurts in my chest for a second.

I take a deep breath. “What about him? Is there something I don’t know?” And even though he doesn’t ask, I pour him a water, sliding it over the countertop, and he grips the glass gently.

“No, I just don’t think you’ve seen this side of Jackson before, and I figured the least I could do is give you some advice.”

I stand up a little straighter. “I don’t really want your advice, Myles. I didn’t ask for it.” My words don’t come out as harsh or as stern as I would like them to, but I have very little fight left in me after this week as it is.

“Believe me, I know. And I know that I’m overstepping in many ways, I just—I want to help. Just this once, please let me. You don’t even have to listen if you don’t want to. But I’ve seen Jackson going through tough shit with his family before. Mateo had a rough time in high school, and I know how Jackson reacts.”

I take another, much bigger sip, my eyes flickering around my apartment, a space that Myles has never been a part of until now, and he’s offering help. “Fine.”

There’s a sad smile on Myles’s face as I reluctantly accept whatever help he’s trying to offer. I wonder if he realizes how different we are now from how we were, how different our lives became from what we expected.

“He’s going to shut down. If his dad doesn’t get better.” He sighs. “He’s going to shut down. And make it seem like everything is fine or that he has it handled. Like he doesn’t need anyone.”

Immediately, I can feel the tears fighting to make another appearance, but I won’t cry in front of Myles ever again.

“But he does. He’s not going to ask you or admit it,” Myles leans forward, resting his forearms on the counter, “but I’m telling you he does. He will. Maybe not yet, but if his dad dies, he is going to. I just wanted you to know.”