Midnight Moonrising (Moonrising #2)(39)

He snickered, sending chills up my body from the feel of the light pulse of his breath expelling from his nose on my neck. "I think it is a feeling I will have to get used to, for I fear not having you in my every thought terrifies me more than anything I have ever encountered."

I sighed. "I'm supposed to be mad at you—"

"How's that working out for you? Do you really want to be mad at me or are you just afraid you will be happy with me if you let yourself be?"

I took a step back and looked up to meet his eyes. "I am afraid to be happy, Phoenix. If you haven't noticed, each time I have allowed myself even a little happiness, something takes it away from me. I have lost so much, and it scares me to death to think you might be the one ripped out of my life next." My voice shook as I admitted one of my greatest fears, but what was even more frightening was the fact that I hadn't known that was why I didn't want to get any closer to Phoenix until now.

I choked on a sob and felt his arms close around me. "Shh… I'm not going anywhere, Mena. You can't push people away just because you're afraid to lose them. That's an absurd plan." He released me enough so his hands could come up to frame my face, then he let his forehead fall against mine as a heavy breath escaped through his parted lips. "Let me in, Mena. I promise that I will always be here with you."

What was he saying? That he wanted to be with me forever? Did I want that? I couldn't bear the thought of him not being here, but…

"My wolf."

He shrugged. "What about her?"

I pulled away and he let me go, but stared at me with sad eyes. He knew what I was going to say. "You can't promise me something like that when you know yourself that it's not true. You know as well as I do that, if my wolf decides to kill you, you are just going to let her do it. I can't live with that on my conscience, Phoenix. We—" I looked away as my eyes filled with fresh, hot tears. "We cannot be together unless you are willing to kill her if she attempts to take your life. Those are my terms and there will be no negotiations."

He blew out a breath through puffed out cheeks and put his hands on his hips. "Okay."

I blinked the tears away and just stared at him. "Okay?" I said.

He nodded. "Yeah, of course, it will be the whole Romeo and Juliet scene revamped, but I'll do it."

He was going to kill himself after he saw me dead. That was not what I wanted. "No! You can't—"

"Do you think I would be able to live with myself if I ever had to kill you?" he said. "Even if it's just to be rid of her? I've lived for over eight centuries and you are the one true and real thing I have ever found, Mena. Nothing else matters," he finished quietly, his eyes begging my mind to understand what my heart already knew.

"Back to that Catch-22, I guess."

"Yeah." He exhaled, and his voice was full of defeat and exhaustion as he ran a hand through his wet hair. It appeared black in its dampness. "I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't."

"I don't think I can do this knowing what you will do afterward."

"That figures," he said sarcastically. "I really don't know why I thought I would matter to the only person in this world I have ever wanted. I don't know why I expected anything more."

I wanted to scream at him that he did matter to me, but he turned and strode toward a walk-in closet. "You can take a bath if you like. I had Lea stock it with girly things for you. I'm going out with a crew for a little while."

"Where are you going?" I said, but he ignored my question.

"You might want to get some sleep. The bed is yours. I won't be back until right before dawn. I'll let Rhodes know my address, so he can pick you up in the morning."

I took a step forward. "When do you plan to talk to Alex?"

He didn't answer me; he just left me standing in front of the fireplace and shut himself inside the closet to get dressed.

I felt like someone was trying to rip my heart from my chest, but I refused to cry over something that hadn't happened yet. I wanted to feel anger that he was leaving me here to go do God only knew what, but all I felt was sadness that our argument ended on a flat note. Neither of us would concede tonight and I was too tired to fight with him.

I gathered some clothes for comfort from my suitcase and went into Phoenix's bathroom to take a bath.

Damn! It smelled just like him.





Chapter 24



Alex





Alex casually tapped a finger on the coffee cup that was warming his hands.

He had already finished with his short stack, but he watched in amazement as Roel, Brad and Heath polished off their third plate each.

Roel lifted his arm in the air, signaling to the waitress that he was ready for his forth serving.


Alex bit back the 'Where the hell do you put it?' and took a sip of coffee instead.

At his refusal to go to the Waffle House, Heath had gladly driven them to the International House of Pancakes. Not a great improvement, but at least the food was edible and didn't taste like grease.

With a piece of bacon between his thumb and index finger, Brad pointed at Alex with his middle finger as he chewed the food in his mouth. "You know what, Cop?" He swallowed and took a drink of orange juice before continuing on. "We like you. Humph!—"