Midnight Lily(35)

Suddenly, a pale beam of sunlight shifted through the trees, casting a light across her body, seeming to make her shimmer, waver between this world and another. And my heart shimmered, too, at her awe-inspiring beauty. She was so gorgeous, I ached. A dream. A vision. No, no, real. So very real. The moment wasn't shimmering with dreaminess, but with a sudden, sharp reality. Because the emotion I felt couldn't be denied: I was in love with her. Deeply, madly, sweetly in love.

And I couldn't tell her. It wasn't fair—I was only half a man right now. So I'd keep it to myself, for now. And I knew: I had to get clean. I couldn't put it off anymore. Tonight would be our final night together until I could come to her as she deserved.

I walked to her, my body suddenly trembling at the realization, my head beginning to ache, as it seemed to have done all week.

"Hi," she breathed, wrapping her arms around me and immediately bringing her lips to mine.

I kissed her and then laughed softly when she pulled her head away.

"What?" she asked.

"I like that you can't keep your hands off me."

"How could I? Am I expected to resist a Boy Scout with high honors, one who kisses like you do? I'm only human, after all."

"True. You were a goner the minute I stepped into these woods."

"Hmm," she hummed as she wiped a bead of moisture off my bottom lip. "I know."

I cocked my head to the side. "Can you come to the lodge tonight? You haven't been inside it yet."

She bit her lip but then nodded her head. I took her hand and led her across the open grassy area to the stairs of the lodge. She looked a little nervous, but I squeezed her hand and pulled her along.

When we stepped through the door, she hesitated and looked around. When she finally moved farther inside, she placed her hand on the back of the couch, looking up at the high, beamed ceiling. I followed her gaze—remembering the speakers in the walls that I'd noticed the first week I'd arrived—and walked over to the shelf where I turned on the iPod docked there. A cover of Elvis's "Can't Help Falling in Love" filled the room, and Lily turned to me smiling. I walked back to her, suddenly feeling shy. I wiped my palms on my jeans and took her in my arms, swaying to the music. "I'm not a very good dancer," I admitted.

"This feels nice," she said, pressing closer to me. "I've never danced before."

I drew back slightly. "Never?"

She shook her head. "See, you shouldn't have told me you aren't a good dancer. I'd never have known." She grinned and my heart stuttered.

"Until you danced with someone else."

For a moment, she simply gazed at me. "I don't want to dance with anyone else."

I swallowed. "Me neither, Lily." I pulled her closer as the song continued, thinking how the lyrics applied to me. Because I couldn't help it. I was in love with the girl in my arms and it seemed . . . meant to be, like fate. Beautifully designed. That we had, against all odds, somehow found each other out here in the middle of nowhere. Two people who needed each other so desperately. The song ended and we drew apart, Lily kissing me softly.

"Thank you," she said, "for giving me my first dance."

I smiled back and went to turn off the music. She wandered through the living room and I followed her, not saying a word as she went into the kitchen, trailing her hand along the granite countertops. "This is nice," she said. "It's so strange to be seeing it from the inside, instead of through the window." She gave me a small, embarrassed smile. "Said the stalker."

I laughed, leaning a hip on the doorframe and crossing my arms. I'd be happy just watching her forever. The way she looked, the way she moved . . .

She gave a slight shake of her head, walking to the refrigerator where she took a moment to look at the pictures affixed with magnets—so many. I hadn't even taken the time to look very closely at them. Mostly party pictures, it looked like, now that I was noticing, probably from the different get-togethers Brandon had had out here. She smiled, leaning in so she could look more closely here and there. "So many friends . . ." she murmured, a note of . . . jealousy? Was that jealousy in her voice? No, nothing that strong. Maybe wistfulness? As if she didn't have any friends.

"I—" I frowned, stopping myself from asking her to tell me every detail about her past. I wanted that, needed that, but I also wanted to give her the same and—I massaged my temples—I couldn't do that until I was clean. Let it be your reward, my mind whispered. Yes, Lily would be my reward.

"Where do you sleep?" she asked, her smile returning.

"Upstairs," I answered. God, I wanted to lead her to my bed and spend the night worshipping every inch of her skin. I wanted to lose myself in the warm heaven of her body. "Do you want a drink? A soda, or . . ." My voice sounded hoarse.

Lily nodded. I went to the cabinet and started making her drink as she walked to the window and looked outside for a moment. My breath faltered as I glanced at her profile. She was so beautiful. Would I ever get used to the effect she had on me? She wandered back into the living room. When I walked into the room a minute after her, holding her drink, she was standing by the window, a magazine in her hand. I supposed she'd found it in the basket next to the large, overstuffed leather recliner, the one filled with all sorts of reading material.