Maybe Someday(82)

across the room.

“I’m sorry,” she signs.

I shake my head, not even remotely wanting or

needing any type of apology from her. “Stop.

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Don’t feel bad. Like you always say, you’re

young. Young people do crazy things like get

drunk and have hangovers and puke for twelve

hours straight.”

She laughs. “Yes, but like you always say,

probably not young people with life-threatening

conditions.”

I smile as I reach her bed, then scoot a chair

close to it and take a seat. “I’m going back to San

Antonio with you. I’ll stay a few days until I feel

better about leaving you alone.”

She sighs and turns her head, looking straight

up to the ceiling. “I’m fine. It was just an insulin issue.” She turns back to face me. “You can’t

baby me every time this happens, Ridge.”

My jaw clenches at “baby me.” “I’m not baby-

ing you, Maggie. I’m loving you. I’m taking care of you. There’s a difference.”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m

so tired of having this same conversation over

and over.”

Yeah. So am I.

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I lean back in my chair and fold my arms over

my chest while I stare at her. Her refusal of help

has been understandable up to this point, but

she’s not a teenager anymore, and I can’t under-

stand why she won’t allow things to progress

with us.

I lean forward, touching her arm so she’ll look

at me and listen. “You need to stop being so hell-

bent and determined to have your independence.

If you don’t take better care of yourself, these

brief one-night hospital stays will be a thing of

the past, Maggie. Let me take care of you. Let me

be there for you. I constantly worry myself sick.

Your internship is causing you so much stress,

not to mention the thesis. I understand why you

want to live a normal life and do all the things

other people our age do, like go to college and

have a career.” I pause to run my hands through

my hair and focus on the point I want to make.

“If we lived together, I could do so much more

for you. Things would be easier for both of us.

And when things like this happen, I’ll be there to

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help you so you don’t convulse alone on the

bathroom floor until you die!”

Breathe, Ridge.

Okay, that was harsh. Way too harsh.

I roll my neck and look down at the floor, be-

cause I’m not ready for her to respond yet. I close

my eyes and try to hold back my frustration.

“Maggie,” I sign, looking at her tear-soaked eyes.

“I . . . love . . . you. And I am so scared that one

of these days, I won’t be able to walk out of the

hospital with you still in my arms. And it’ll be

my own fault for allowing you to continue to re-

fuse my help.”

Her bottom lip is quivering, so she tucks it into

her mouth and bites it. “Sometime in the next ten

or fifteen years, Ridge, that will be your reality.

You are going to walk out of the hospital without me, because no matter how much you want to be

my hero, I can’t be saved. You can’t save me

from this. We both know you’re one of the few

people I have in this world, so until the day

comes when I can absolutely no longer take care

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of myself, I refuse to become your burden. Do

you know what that does to me? To know that

I’ve put that much pressure on you? I’m not liv-

ing alone simply because I crave independence,

Ridge. I want to live alone because . . .”

Tears are streaming down her cheeks, and she

pauses to wipe them away. “I want to live alone

because I just want to be the girl you’re in love

with . . . for as long as we can draw that out. I

don’t want to be your burden or your responsibil-

ity or your obligation. The only thing I want is to

be the love of your life. That’s all. Please, just let that be enough for now. Let it be enough until the

time comes when you really do have to go to the

ends of the earth for me.”

A sob breaks free from my chest, and I reach

forward and press my lips to hers. I grip her face

desperately between my hands and lift my leg

onto the bed. She wraps her arms around me as I

pull the rest of my body on top of hers and do

whatever I can to shield her from the unfairness

of this evil, goddamned world.

Chapter Eighteen

Sydney

I close the door to Ridge’s car and follow Warren

up the stairs toward the apartment. Neither of us

said a word to each other on the drive home from

the hospital. The rigidness in his jaw said all he

needed to say, which was, more or less, Don’t