Maybe Matt's Miracle(12)

Sklyar



I just closed my eyes when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I never did hear back from Phillip after the funeral. He just left. But that’s very much the way he is. He’s there one minute and gone the next. And then gone for a really long time. I take my phone out and see his smiling face on the screen. Do I have to answer it? I mentally steel myself and pick up.

“Hello?”

“Skylar, hi,” he says. I can almost see his toothy grin in my mind’s eye, and it makes me cringe. It shouldn’t be that way, should it?

“So nice of you to finally reply to me,” I toss out.

I can hear the click of his dress shoes against the pavement. “Sorry about that. I had to get back to work. I’m just leaving the building now.” I hear the slam of a door and imagine him getting into his Mercedes.

“Working late?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says very softly. He gets quiet for a moment and silence falls over the cell waves.

“So what’s up with you?” I ask.

“Big case at work,” he says.

“Oh, tell me about it.”

“You know I can’t.”

“We both work for the same firm, Phillip, for God’s sake.”

“About that,” he says.

I sit up. Phillip is a managing partner at my firm. He holds my future in his hands.

“We had a board meeting today to discuss your situation.”

“Oh, really.” I try not to add a pffft at the end of my comment, and almost succeed, but I feel like someone just jerked the air from me.

“We decided you need to take some family leave time to get things settled on your end.”

I sit all the way up and cross my legs criss-cross-applesauce style. “I don’t think that’s your decision to make.”

“I think it’s in your best interest, Sky,” he says softly. “You need to get settled with the kids, hire a nanny, decide where you’re going to live…”

“Well, eventually, we’ll live at my apartment. We’re just here temporarily, while the kids adjust.”

There’s silence on the line.

“Why don’t you just say what you want to say, Phillip?”

“I never signed on to be a dad, Sky,” he says.

“I didn’t exactly sign on to be a mom,” I remind him.

“Yet you let your father talk you into this harebrained idea.”

“It’s not an idea. The kids don’t have anyone else.” I pull the phone back and stare down at it for a moment. “Are you breaking up with me? Over the kids.”

“I’m giving you time to figure things out,” he says.

“I don’t need time to figure things out.”

He pauses. “I was going to tell you today, but you were busy with your mother.”

“You were going to tell me at the funeral?” I screech. “Is that why you came?” I should have known it wasn’t because he cared about me or my family.

“What are you going to do, Sky?” he finally snaps. “You’re going to raise those children? Those kids who don’t look anything like us? You’re going to parade them around in public? You’re going to take them to the Cape and on vacation and you’re going to be their mom? Why don’t you just hire a nanny, for Christ’s sake? Your father has enough money.”

I get up and start to pace back and forth across the floor. “I can’t f*cking believe this,” I say. “I never took you for someone who gives a shit about race. When did you become this guy?”

“I’m the same guy I have always been!” he shouts at me. “You’re the one who has changed. I want someone who can work by my side and play by my side and just be by my side. I don’t want kids between us, particularly if they’re not ours.”

Silence falls again. I stop in front of the dresser to look into the mirror. There’s a weird sense of peace on my face.

“It’s not like we ever have sex anymore, anyway. We can’t seem to find the time.” He sounds like a four-year-old.

It has been a while.

“We’re just not at the same place,” he says.

“We’re not talking about proximity,” I spit back.

“Will you at least consider a nanny?” he asks.

I don’t even need to think about it. I was raised by a constant parade of nannies, and I will not do that to these kids. I don’t have a single person in my life who can sit with me and tell me stories about my childhood because no one was there. “No,” I bite out.

“Why not? This isn’t even your responsibility!” he shouts.

“I may not be their mom, but I’m their aunt. I’m their Aunt Sky, and I’m all they have. They don’t have anyone else, and I know what that feels like. I will not leave them alone. I will be here for them whenever they need me for the rest of my life.”

To tell the truth, I’ve been kind of brooding about my situation because I couldn’t find my footing, but I have it now. It’s solidly beneath me.

“I will teach Seth to drive, I will take Mellie to dance lessons, and Joey will do gymnastics.” Okay, I sound like a lunatic now. “They can do or be whatever they want to be. Because they won’t be alone.” I point my finger at nothing and jab into the air with it. “They will never, ever be alone as long as I’m here. Do you understand me? Never!”