Mastering The Marquess (Bound and Determined #1)(110)

“I do understand that about him,” Louisa answered. “That is not what I worry about. I simply do not understand the rest.”

“Geoffrey is a very good teacher. It is why I chose him for you in the beginning. I have never known him to force or even pressure a woman into doing anything that she did not wish. Has he ever made you do anything which you did not want?”

“No, never—except when the Countess forced him to, and I do not hold that against him.”

“Are you sure? It would be very easy to. I have already said I believe he holds it against himself.”

Leaning back and staring up at the canopy of the bed, Louisa considered carefully. Did she harbor any resentment toward Geoffrey because of that night? She tried to imagine how she would feel in different situations with him. “No. I do not bear him any grudge. I merely do not know how to proceed.”

Madame walked back to her chair and sat, leaning forward. “How can I help? Do you have further questions? If yesterday had not happened what would you do?”

“I feel that we are dancing in circles, but I will try.” Louisa drew in a deep breath. Even here, in the privacy of her home, this was not an easy thing. “Do women truly like to be whipped?”

It was Madame’s turn to consider. Louisa could see her thinking over each word. Finally, she answered, “Yes, some do. But I would say that even among those who do, most see it as play, with very little pain involved. They like a swat or two, given very lightly or with a soft flogger that can do no real harm. It is more a matter of anticipation than anything else.”

“Oh.” Louisa could understand that. She did enjoy the sensation of waiting to see what Geoffrey would do next. And if it didn’t really hurt …

“Then,” Madame continued, “there are those who are trying to get to some place beyond the pain. I do not know if I can explain this to you, but they find the pain freeing. It hurts at first, but then—I have heard them describe it as flying or floating. I think they do not really crave the pain, but rather what comes after it—the experience of intense sensation. Do you understand?”

“I think so.” Louisa had felt something like that herself after the spanking, although in a greatly reduced manner. “You say that you have heard—have you never …?”

Madame laughed, and then a knowing smile formed upon her lips. “No. It is strictly a business for me. I cannot say that I have never been curious, but I have never felt an actual desire to participate. I am not sure I would be very good at putting myself under someone else’s control. I am satisfied with much simpler, less permanent pleasures. It is why I have never planned on marriage.”

Louisa had never thought of it in that fashion. It was true that in marriage a woman gave up all control. If she had trusted Geoffrey enough to give him herself, her money, and her future children, was it really such a big step to trust him in the privacy of their bedroom?

“And then there is a third type of woman—and sometimes man.” Madame grew more serious. “There are some who truly crave the pain, the punishment. Women who like to be struck again and again. I must admit that I do not understand it and do not consider it particularly healthy. The Countess was one of these women—whichever side of the whip she was on. I have known women who would probably let a master kill them and not protest.”

“And you let such things go on at your house?”

A long sigh. “Yes and no. I do not like to, but as I have said, it is a business. I do not let things go too far in my house. I have strict rules about what is allowed and what is not. And I feel that it is safer in my house than in other locations. My rooms are watched carefully, by myself or one of my selected staff. All the rooms have peepholes and things are monitored, not as voyeurism—unless the participants desire—but strictly as a precaution. I dislike outside involvement. The authorities can be so tiresome.”

“That makes sense.” Louisa’s mind was spinning as she tried to absorb everything Madame had said.

“Do you wish to know anything else? In general, or about Geoffrey?”

Louisa considered carefully. It was easier to think about general questions. “Do many couples do this? I mean not just at your house? Is it something that …”

Another laugh. “I truly only know what happens at my house, but I expect that at least the play version of it is far more common than you think. I think the one rule should always be that you don’t do anything you truly dislike. It is one thing to try things, to push yourself when you feel a little uncomfortable, but if you find something distasteful, say no.”

It was a fuller answer than she had asked for, but Louisa knew it was the answer she had actually sought. “And do you think that would … would be enough for Geoffrey?”

“Only he can answer that, but from what I have seen, making you happy is what is most important to him.”

If only she could believe that. “I do have a few more questions. If I am going to try this I need to know more, to not be so surprised at everything, although I suppose I do want some surprise left.”

“Ask whatever you wish. If I can, I will answer.”

Looking down at her hands, Louisa put together her list. “First, can you tell me what you do with hot wax?”





Chapter Thirty-three