Make Me Yours(19)

I haven’t noticed a lot of things.

Gazing out at the calm waters, the cranes stepping carefully along the banks, I dismiss any second thoughts I might have had about hiring Ruby.

Sure, it was impulsive and seemingly out of the blue, but I’d been researching hiring a nanny for weeks. I had planned to go through a service, but trusting my gut has gotten me this far, and Ruby is clearly the right person for the job.

She’s a smart, independent woman who isn’t afraid of Eleanor and who also happens to be great with Lillie. It’s a stroke of luck I’m not sure a service would have provided.

My mind drifts to the way she took Lillie’s invitation to play that Disney princess scene last night. Ruby didn’t care who saw her. She didn’t care if it was silly. She only cared about getting to know my little girl and making a friend.

Seeing her that way did something more, though. It found a crack in the wall I’d built around my heart. It took all the feelings I’d set aside and stirred them up, twisting them into a new and unexpected emotion.

I realized in that moment… I am different.

Before, I didn’t believe I could ever move on without betraying my wife’s memory, no matter how many self-help books I read. It didn’t matter if I was thirty, with more than half of my life still ahead of me… I felt guilty if I responded to the sight of a beautiful woman.

Hell, I felt guilty for being attracted to Ruby.

Despite everything Drew said, I couldn’t let go and learn to live again. What changed?

I don’t have to ask. The answer struts around this house with bouncing curls and sparkly mermaid shirts. Lillie is the key to it all, and now I have to decide how I’m going to handle this new information.

Before, when it was only attraction, I could dismiss it. I’m a mature adult, I’m five years older than Ruby, I can handle myself.

Now that she’s become my ally, now that I know she’s smart and tough as well as sexy, now that she’s stolen Lillie’s heart and treats my daughter like I would…

It’s a pull I’m finding hard to resist.

I turn from the window and toss the stress ball on my desk. I will resist it. I’ll focus on something different, what I hope to accomplish. The reason I hired Ruby in the first place.

Sure, it was so I could move Eleanor into her proper place, but it was also so I could focus on my work and move my investment firm to the next level.

I’ve been following a few tech startups. One even has a bid from the military that could bring in a huge windfall in the coming months, but I’ve fallen out of the mix. Now I’m ready to get back in there and start doing more. Having more time means I can keep the investments rolling.

Picking up my phone, I tap out the old, familiar number. It only rings once before my friend and investment scout answers.

“Hastings here.” Stephen’s voice hasn’t changed. It’s as impatient and arrogant as always. “What’s on your mind, Remington? Psychology Today?”

“I want to know the latest on the Stellan project.”

I tried to acquire the communications security app a year ago, but I confess, fighting with Eleanor and my own apathy probably lost me the deal.

He exhales as if he’s bored. “You haven’t asked about Stellan in six months.”

“I’m asking about it now.”

I hear his fingers tapping on computer keys. “Looks like he took some time off. Probably found a glitch or bumped into a patent issue.”

“Let’s hope it’s the former. Send him a note. Say I’m still interested if he’d like to talk to me and see if there are any rising projects along the same lines out there. I want to be the go-to guy when it comes to military security.”

“You always were. Until you dropped out of sight.”

“Right. I’ll be doing research on my end, and Stephen, get me an invite to the Empire Investments annual gala.”

If anyone can get me to the capital investors’ Manhattan party of the year, it’s my old Navy buddy.

“Are you saying you’re back?”

“I’m back.”

With Ruby taking care of Lillie, I won’t be fighting with anyone. I can work uninterrupted. I’ll dig in and make the most of my time, not having to check in and intervene every few hours.

Still, Eleanor’s voice is in my head. “Your daughter is only four once. A large inheritance won’t make up for spending time with her father.”

As much as it grates my nerves, she’s right.

I grew up with a dad who chose work over me. He was never around for anything I did. He missed every baseball game, every science fair, and every awards ceremony. Yet, he always showed up to let me know when I was getting off track. He always managed to assert his control without ever showing me his love.

Lillie will not have the same lonely childhood I did.

Pulling out a post-it, I hastily scribble a note across the front: Time for Lillie.

I slap it on the bulletin board and stick a pin in it to be sure it doesn’t fall off.

Every day, no matter what, I’ll make time for her, spend time with her, make sure she knows no matter how important Daddy’s job is, it’s never more important than her.

A close second: No sex with Ruby.

My hand goes to my stomach, and I rub the sting away. Yeah, she’s pretty great. Her smile warms my insides and everything she does feels special. The worst thing I could do is have a casual fling with her.